Tag: Stress

Re-Writing Resolutions

Lifestyle June 28, 2019

Almost 7 months into the year, I have completed or even worked on any of my new resolutions- and to be honest, I feel totally shit about it. In my head 2019 was the year I’d become this confident, driven woman who’d lost a tone of weight and was happy. And as I write this post, I’ve put on a lot of weight, I’m in debt and I have absolutely no drive what so ever.

Now, this doesn’t mean I’m not happy, in fact the only upside to 2019. My mental health and anxiety have been arguably the best it’s been since I was a spotty teen rocking rock ports and blasting out Pretty Green Eyes, through my Sony Ericsson- ahh the days.

Armed with an army of notebooks, I hope to re-write my January Resolutions-and find something I’m actually motivated to achieve.

Eat healthier.

Around this time last year, I became pescatarian, so far, I’ve enjoyed the majority of it. Usually I stick to vegetarian meals and only eat fish when I’m feeling run down and need a little more protein in my diet. At the start I had hopes of eating super healthy meals all day every day, but it didn’t work that way. Right now, I find myself reaching for my vegetarian alternatives and chips- literally potatoes are my best mate.

Since Christmas, I’ve put on quite a lot of weight and truthfully, I think that’s one of the major reasons I feel so awful about myself. After a good cry and a planning session with the mother, I’ve got my trusty meal plan and I hope, that eating healthier will decrease me waistline and improve my mindset*she said hopefully*.

Blog more.

Okay, okay, I know I’ve been lacking a bit when it comes to content. My Instagram could be described as waste land and my blog has been on the back burner for what seems to be forever.

Recently, I’ve been really missing blogging, even beauty blogposts (which probably take the most effort), I’ve found SO enjoyable to write. It’s safe to say that I’ve found my blogging stride again- just maybe without the schedule?

Now, not to be that blogger(spoiler* I’m going to be), but I have been working on a little something, something when I comes to my little blog. It’s no brand collab or exciting venture, but it’s a way of making my space feel more like mine.

This space is somewhere I want people to relate too, and I hope the next couple of things I have in the pipeline excite you as much as they do me.

Actually, save something.

Now, I know us brits don’t talk about money and what not, but WE all know we everyone has some form of it. The debt spoke about earlier, isn’t a huge. In fact, after my next pay day it will pretty much cease to exist. Thank god!

Something else that ceases to exist is my bloody savings. Have multiple savings accounts with 0.02 in, just makes me feel a little bit sick.

Every month I have these great ideas which will leave me in the black (if that’s right) but I never quite manage it, so let’s hope July is just a little bit easier for me and my bank balance.

Have a trip somewhere.

This might be counter- productive in regards to saving but I NEED A BREAK. Waking up in bedding that I don’t have to wash, to drink coffee till it comes out my ears and to see something outside the norm is something that my soul just needs to experience.

As a rule, I haven’t traveled anywhere other than Greece. In fact traveling makes me ridiculously anxious, but right now, I would happily jump on a plane. Whilst I may not have achieved anything this year, there’s been plenty of drama: so a nice relaxing break a fair way from my problems sounds bloody epic.

*starts planning*

Put myself first.

One of my great faults is taking on other people’s problems. I hate seeing those around me going through the ringer. There’s been so my instances that I’ve jumped into other people’s arguments and ended up being the one in the wrong. And because of this, I’m guilty of not taking enough time to myself.

By nature I’m pretty happy working day to day, so happy infact that I struggle to turn my brain off. Not only do I struggle to calm my brain but I tend to be hard on anything I do achieve. I constantly find myself wondering if I’m doing enough or if I’m even good enough in the first place. Combining this with being my friends and family’s equivalent to Jerry Springer, it’s safe to say I feel enough.

With questions running around my head, day in day out, I know taking time away from the worlds troubles is needed.

So with those, goals set, I hope the next six months will be much more productive? Or just filled with wine*shrugs*.

Em x

The Life Switch up.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., sex and relationships, Uncategorized March 10, 2019

Hello you beautiful people.

I know, I know its been a while- and for that i am not in the least bit sorry. Life over the past few weeks has been quiet, with quiet came a few realisations. I realised that (and I don’t mean to boast- well maybe a little) but i finally feel like i have my shit together. Trust me, i am just as shocked as any one.

NOW, by no means do i have the answers to all the millennial issues. I am still shit with money, fat and my sex life is dryer than the Sahara desert- i’m just good with it. We are all to often caught saying

‘ you should only look back to see how far we’ve come’

But if you are anything like me, then you will only look to the positives of the past. Nights out, relationships, graduations are all things i compare my current life too. But what about the crippling anxiety, mounds of debt and self esteem lower to than my bank account. If i am to be perfectly honest, i really am bloody happy to be where i am today.

*cough* Cheesey as fuck*cough*

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Dieting.

Now lets start with the shit stuff. Dieting. My last blog spoke about my ‘ditching the term plus size’. Hatred for the term probably comes from the negative relationship with my body. Now, i look at dieting as a way to learn how to cook, how to prepare myself for the week ahead and even to a certain extent, how too budget. Dieting has been such an awful experience in the past. From rationing my food to living off 800 calories a day, i never wanted to be the size i am. Yet, here i am the wrong size of 25 with my huge bum and 28 E boobs (and yes, crippling back ache).

Right now i am technically dieting, Slimming world has been a way i can learn how to cook for my new veggie lifestyle. With friends and family not being the most supportive Slimming world has been a great network for recipes.

Dating.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Want some juicy goss? Then go somewhere else.

As with the rest of my life, my romantic life is non-existent- and like my body, i am good with it. Friends of mine are getting married, having babies and me? Well right now, I’m sat in the same room i grew up in drinking a corona, watching an Criminal Minds.

After a few shit relationships I finally understand the importance of being alone.I have replied heavily on my exes, i needed some one to tell me i was okay- as stupid as it sounds i was to scared to live my life independently.

Romantic relationships just isn’t something i am looking for right now, but if Prince Charming wants to fall into my life with a classic Nintendo and a few bottle of beer, then I wouldn’t run away.

Striving for independence.

Independence means a lot to different people. To some it means paying your own bills, to others it means traveling alone, for me? It simply means being comfortable enough to create something that i’ve been to scared too.

A few years back i was scared of everything. My mental health health nose dived, panic attacks took hold and i had no idea what i was doing one day to the next. So for me, its time to finally be able to stand on my own two feet and leave my anxieties in the past.

And goals? You better believe I’ve got them now and right now, i am smashing them (i mean to really, I’m not the Hulk).

  • BUY MY FIRST HOME.
  • BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM.
  • TRAVEL ALONE (even if it is only to centre parks)

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Organising my shit

Guys i am pretty okay with admitting that i am not Marie Kondo but i have started appreciating organising my life. Making breakfast the night before, ironing my clothes ready for the week on Sunday night and cleaning my space much more often, has made me feel so much more in control of my own life.

Like with so many things in my life, of course there is most definitely more switch up’s up to come but organising my life has impacted my life so much. I am so excited, to see how the year (and my poor attempt at organisation) goes.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

2019 has flown by so quickly, its basically the middle of march and I have no recollection as to what happened to February. This little update and content switch up has been something i have wanted to do for a while. I have spent so much time wasting my life with poor relationships, low self esteem and just accepting that i was always going to unhappy – right now, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I finally feel like i am working towards the things i have always been too scared too.

And i promise to share them with you when i finish them.

Always,

Em x

Is it time to ditch the ‘plus’ in Plus Size?

Lifestyle February 18, 2019

Hello my beauties.

As i sit an write this , i cant help but stare and the copious amount of clothing I’ve been buying recently. With the recent developments in sizing, styles and stores, the Plus size market has become more profound than ever- right now, I am in total awe at how amazing the ‘plus’ size clothing is in the UK has become. For years the ‘Plus’ size clothing stores have been ill flattering, and lack all sense of fashion. With brands such as ASOS, River Island and even New Look have finally allowed the curvy amongst us to find affordable, fashionable clothing the ‘Plus’ size clothing market has never been as advanced.

Now, pals, i am by no means saying that there isn’t any room for improvement in the Plus Size industry. Seriously i can list the issues my 16-18 chunky bod has when fighting the losing battle trying to find something ‘nice’ in store. Yet, the growth the industry has had shows a complete shift in a much better direction. Empire lines, flowing material and more accesability show a much better understanding of a curvier woman’s need. I just can’t help but ask, with the growth in the industry i am left wondering isn’t it time to ditch the ‘Plus Size’ term altogether?

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

Outfit details.

Jumper: TU at Sainsbury’s.

Skirt: Primark.

Belt: Primark

Shoes: Raid via ASOS

Same clothing, same price.

Many stores now offer a plus size range, an has since started making the same pieces through out all their clothing. By this i mean much of the clothing in the plus size ranges is exactly the same (just sized higher) than much of the regular sized clothing. So, why am i walking up a flight of stairs to find a piece of clothing that i have seen 4 times down stairs?

As a rule, i don’t understand much within this segment of the clothing industry. Why should my reasonably sized boobs and Kardashian’s rival bottom mean I don’t fit into the Norm of clothing? Surely it would be better to make customers feel equal no matter the size of their behind ? Many stores argue that the fabric, patterns and even marketing equate to higher prices and being segregated from the rest of the other clothing items. Yet, with the fashion industry being one of the leading industries i highly doubt merging all areas of the clothing within a store will hardly knock the overall growth of the industry.

We’re not all made the same.

Understanding body shapes must rival the Pythagoras theorem. Every woman, is shaped differently regardless of your weight, Height and even style. As a woman who is constantly battling her weight, why should my clothing make me feel any less than ‘comfortable’?

Now, i understand that with a copious amount of body shapes, stores are fighting a losing battle. Some items will never look great on a pear shape whilst others items are just too short for a six foot frame.Yet, isn’t it better for people to have a level of trust in their favourite clothing brand rather than share the feeling of ‘ i can’t believe i have to go their again’. Taking plus size out of the equation for one moment, isn’t it worth creating a space where everyone has value?

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

A Trigger?

Now, i am fully aware that some suffering with eating disorders may find this triggering. Walking to a separate area, in which you can shop with in comfort is important. However, many of the plus sized clothing collections are placed in obvious spaces. Women have to walk through area which see stick thin Mannequins, small items of clothing all of which only amplify insecurites. If stores don’t want this collection to be triggering isn’t it time to group all collections together and let all shoppers be equal. And if not, move the curve items to a much more discreet area of the store.

The future?

The future of the clothing industry will hopefully hold so much more growth within the ‘Plus’ sized category and for me, that is dropping the notion of plus sized all together. On a daily basis we are told that our size shouldn’t define who we are, so why are we allowing clothing stores to tell us any different? Walking through a store filled with smaller sized items, means that many like myself are forced to see what we could be. In a world of fad diets, motivational quotes and fakery, i am ready to stand up and say my size does not define who i am. Nor should it define how i feel in stores i spend my hard earn money in.

I can’t be the only person in the world which hates the term ‘Plus Size’. The size of my hips shouldn’t restrict the clothing i have access too. With the constant demand for affordable, fashionable clothing, when will the High Street learn that all customers are just as important as one and other. The size and shape of your body has no correlation to you or your sense of style. Kardashian bums, mum tums and massive lady lumps shouldn’t be a restriction, it should be something we have and can parade in a gorgeous leopard print shirt.

So tell me, what do you think? Is it time all customers were treated equally, or do you have an entirely different opinion. Please let me know in the comments below.

Em x

Disclaimer : I paid for these clothes with my own money and have never worked with either
Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., Uncategorized December 3, 2018

Merry Christmas!

It’s December and that means only one thing! Blogmas or at least my own version of Blogmas. This year I wanted to write my own version of Blogmas, one that gives you lovely readers enough content but also allows me to not work constantly for the next 31 days.

I love Christmas and would love to enjoy both the festive season and blogging. Blogmas puts so much pressure on those of us who love the festive season. As some one who’s blogged for years I feel like I can safely say by the end of Blogmas most bloggers never want to hear the word Blogmas for at least another 11 months.

SO, in the hopes of saving my own sanity I have wrote myself a set of rules which will hopefully allow me to contribute to Blogmas in my own way.

1, Content doesn’t have to be festive.

Throughout the next month some of my content isn’t festive, infact its so removed from Christmas its unreal- and that’s perfectly okay. Christmas puts pressure on everyone and sometimes us mere mortals need to have a minute without a mince pie or festive joy.

The festive season is a difficult one, so having a break from festivities is a must for not only me but for others too.

2, Monday to Friday, only.

Over the past few years I have realised that I am in no way organised to contribute daily to Blogmas. As much as I adore writing I simply run out of inspiration come December 27th. Most poeple read content at weekend so uploading 7 post in a week can be excessive and some readers may miss a great post you’ve worked your arse off on.

Choosing to limit my Blogmas content came with a very heavy heart, if I’m totally honest I feel like I have let my self down a little, but for the sake of my mental health I have come to realise working full time and blogging daily is just too much for me right now.

3, ITS MY BLOGMAS.

As a rule blogmas runs form the 1st December to the 31st – that is a lot of content. I applaud any one who attempts to do this but for me personally, I don’t think its a viable option. With that being said, this is my blogmas, on my blog so i felt that it was about time i rewrote the rules.

I hope you understand and are ready for a few exciting introductions (including my monthly bar review to name one). Are you ready?

I don’t think I am,

Read More

A lil’ update.

Lifestyle, Uncategorized September 13, 2018

If you hadn’t noticed emrambles has been severely neglected over the past three months. And honestly, I don’t have any other reason than I’ve been severely unhappy with my life.

In the past few weeks I’ve had more fall outs, tears and questions about my sanity than Jeremy Kyle has DNA tests. The level of uncertainty I have in my life has made me horrible to be around. Feeling uncertain makes me anxious, and when I’m anxious I crumble- I just can’t cope.

After a few doctors appointments( and sobs) I’ve finally got the wheels in motion to make me feel better. To concentrate on what I want in life and move closer to the stability I have always dreamed off.

You all know I love Hello October’s motivational Monday’s, a few weeks ago she shared a quote which resonated with me.

The only person going to give you the stability you crave, is you.

So from now on, that is what I intend to do.

Thank you for sticking with me! A new post will be up on Sunday!

Always love,

Em x

New job,New blog & Body Image.

Lifestyle July 3, 2018

Aye up, you fit bunch.June, where have you gone!It’s safe to say this little bloggers been on a bit of a mission recently. A mission to maybe get her sh*t together and do some of the things I say I will but never get around too. This month has seen me go self hosted, get a new job and kind of find an okay relationship with my body.By nature I hate summer, I’m much more of a winter baby. Yet summer 2018, is the season I finish my wine and get sh*t done. I and so so happy with the changes I’ve been making recently and I thought I would update you on a few of them.PST. Maybe get a brew, there’s a lot to catch up on.

New job.

Yesssss, ya girls got a new job! Now I don’t like talking about work on my blog. What I will say is that this job has given me an opportunity to get out of a position I hated. My last role left me quite lonely and my mental health started declining. So my new job was so welcome and I’m already feeling better about myself.

New blog? Kinda.

For the last year I’ve been debating going self hosted. Theres been a few reasons as to why I haven’t but the main one I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I’m not as eloquent as bloggers out there. I’m never going to look like Lydia Millen or be able to create a funny af yet oh so relatable post like Vix.

The thing I forgot about is, I’m me. And as a blogger you are your USP. The slightly plump, 5’4 Yorkshire lass with a killer eye roll and day dreams for days, makes this blog what it is. Life’s to short for the ifs and buts, so I took the plunge.

Body image

Now I’ve been pretty open about not being completely comfortable in my own skin. To be truthful I am no where near as comfortable as I would like to be. Although, I have definitely been taking giant leaps in the right direction.

As a rule I wouldn’t show of my tummy, all tops needed to be longer than my bum, arms needed to be covered. Which was fine until some one had the grand idea to create a Very British heat wave which left me over heating, sweating and just massively rank.So I decided I couldn’t be arsed. Everyone has a tummy, most people have issues with their bodies, so why was I stopping myself feeling cool ?And with that I have found my love for summer dressing.So this little update may be a slightly boring and massively rambling (clues in the name folks). I just wanted to update you guys on my life and the reason I’ve been a bit quiet on the blog front. Hope you’ve enjoyed this little blog about the changes I’ve been making recently.See ya Sunday.Always love,Em x

Goals for July.

Lifestyle, Uncategorized July 1, 2018

June. What can I say about you, other than you have been a bloody whirl wind. From finding a new fragrance, to getting a new job and losing all my confidence along the way, it’s safe to say this month has made me learn a thing or two.

As I sit and write this on one of the hottest days of the year, with a glass of Savion and an empty wrapper of aero at my side- I can proudly say I have never been happier. Over the last month I have questioned every inch of my life. Checking, double checking and even sending out a few ‘am I really doing this’ text to the girls.

Everything I questioned. Idid. What ever plays out over the coming months I can say, with a 100% certainty, that I am much stronger than i believe i am.

(Life update coming soon, babes)

Now let’s get to July

July is (or at least I hope) slightly quiet compared to June. No birthdays, lunches out or new jobs – well, I hope not. Yes, this may have something to do with the fact I absolutely broke until the end of the month, or that I barely have a social life, but to be honest I’m excited for a break.

No1. Take some time for me.

Now, I’m not talking about taking one Sunday afternoon to read my book. I really want to take some time to figure out what I want and where I’m going. The past month has left me a pretty exhausted to be honest.

Recently, I’ve been using meditation a few times a week to really home in on what I want in life and I’m so excited figure out ways to get my big life goals in motion.. although, my friends that’s for another time.

Yoga, reading, facial? I’m not sure what’s going to happen but I’m really looking to finding something.

No 2. Drink less.

Don’t get me wrong I do like a tipple every now and again, but with the great British heat wave, I’ve been even more partial to a glass of white! So a major goal for me is to cut down on my drinking. ,

Maybe just one night a week? Send rain, maybe?

No 3. Find out what a bloody ISA is.

Next on my adult to do list is …….. *drum rollll* savings. How adult of me. Any way, I’ve been debating putting some money away for a rainy day for a few months but recently I’ve had a lot of bills being paid off and wine to buy.

ISA’s are a bit of a challenge for me. I’m just not sure what they are or even if it would work for me. So finding out the ins and out is pretty much a must for me.

No 4. Get back in my diet.

Yeah, I’m another girl on a diet. I haven’t lost a lot of weight over the last few months but I lost a little bit and it really made me feel much more confident within my body. So starting my healthier life style again is kind of needed.

Right now my confidence is creeping back up and introducing a healthier life style again can only help.

There you go my loves, my July goals. June’s been amazing- I can’t wait to tell you how July goes!

Always love,

Em x