The Life Switch up.

Hello you beautiful people.

I know, I know its been a while- and for that i am not in the least bit sorry. Life over the past few weeks has been quiet, with quiet came a few realisations. I realised that (and I don’t mean to boast- well maybe a little) but i finally feel like i have my shit together. Trust me, i am just as shocked as any one.

NOW, by no means do i have the answers to all the millennial issues. I am still shit with money, fat and my sex life is dryer than the Sahara desert- i’m just good with it. We are all to often caught saying

‘ you should only look back to see how far we’ve come’

But if you are anything like me, then you will only look to the positives of the past. Nights out, relationships, graduations are all things i compare my current life too. But what about the crippling anxiety, mounds of debt and self esteem lower to than my bank account. If i am to be perfectly honest, i really am bloody happy to be where i am today.

*cough* Cheesey as fuck*cough*

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Dieting.

Now lets start with the shit stuff. Dieting. My last blog spoke about my ‘ditching the term plus size’. Hatred for the term probably comes from the negative relationship with my body. Now, i look at dieting as a way to learn how to cook, how to prepare myself for the week ahead and even to a certain extent, how too budget. Dieting has been such an awful experience in the past. From rationing my food to living off 800 calories a day, i never wanted to be the size i am. Yet, here i am the wrong size of 25 with my huge bum and 28 E boobs (and yes, crippling back ache).

Right now i am technically dieting, Slimming world has been a way i can learn how to cook for my new veggie lifestyle. With friends and family not being the most supportive Slimming world has been a great network for recipes.

Dating.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Want some juicy goss? Then go somewhere else.

As with the rest of my life, my romantic life is non-existent- and like my body, i am good with it. Friends of mine are getting married, having babies and me? Well right now, I’m sat in the same room i grew up in drinking a corona, watching an Criminal Minds.

After a few shit relationships I finally understand the importance of being alone.I have replied heavily on my exes, i needed some one to tell me i was okay- as stupid as it sounds i was to scared to live my life independently.

Romantic relationships just isn’t something i am looking for right now, but if Prince Charming wants to fall into my life with a classic Nintendo and a few bottle of beer, then I wouldn’t run away.

Striving for independence.

Independence means a lot to different people. To some it means paying your own bills, to others it means traveling alone, for me? It simply means being comfortable enough to create something that i’ve been to scared too.

A few years back i was scared of everything. My mental health health nose dived, panic attacks took hold and i had no idea what i was doing one day to the next. So for me, its time to finally be able to stand on my own two feet and leave my anxieties in the past.

And goals? You better believe I’ve got them now and right now, i am smashing them (i mean to really, I’m not the Hulk).

  • BUY MY FIRST HOME.
  • BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM.
  • TRAVEL ALONE (even if it is only to centre parks)
Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Organising my shit

Guys i am pretty okay with admitting that i am not Marie Kondo but i have started appreciating organising my life. Making breakfast the night before, ironing my clothes ready for the week on Sunday night and cleaning my space much more often, has made me feel so much more in control of my own life.

Like with so many things in my life, of course there is most definitely more switch up’s up to come but organising my life has impacted my life so much. I am so excited, to see how the year (and my poor attempt at organisation) goes.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

2019 has flown by so quickly, its basically the middle of march and I have no recollection as to what happened to February. This little update and content switch up has been something i have wanted to do for a while. I have spent so much time wasting my life with poor relationships, low self esteem and just accepting that i was always going to unhappy – right now, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I finally feel like i am working towards the things i have always been too scared too.

And i promise to share them with you when i finish them.

Always,

Em x

Time to be your own Valentine?

Valentines, Galentines, 50% chocolate specials whatever you associate with the season of love, its here. In amongst the new couples, chocolate binges and sobbing singles, Valentine’s Day can be something that takes its toll on so many. Whether you’re a loved up babe or a sassy single, Valentine’s Day should be a day we celebrate our longest relationship; the one we have with ourselves. In the words of Ru Paul, ‘ If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else’.

I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to celebrate yourself, the challenges you’ve face and the next steps of your life. Realising that you and you alone are solely responsible for all the things you have achieved and will continue to achieve. So grab a nice bottle of plonk, run a bath and leave the world at the door step. If a bubble bath isn’t for you, then its perfectly okay to rewrite the terms of your own valentines night.

Take time.

Okay, before i rant on about turning the world off i am. Fully aware that for many stepping away from the world on a week night probably isn’t an option. Parents, care givers and even people who have to work more than one job don’t get the option of having a night of. Yet their is one option you do have.

Taking your time- once the day is over with, is a luxury. Leaving deadlines at the doors, plodding along with your to do lists, without haste is rewarding. Having the ability to complete tasks without any rush allows you to relax and feel accomplished. Take your time isn’t always a bad thing, remember the tortoise and the hare?

Embrace who you are.

Everyone is different, therefore everyone’s way of relaxing is completely different. Listing to metal, watching the entirety of the Marvel universe and or even sitting in silence. Embracing your favourite things and running with them, is ultimately the most important thing in the season of love. If not, what’s the point? Go on, grab another chocolate and watch another episode of friends, make your soul happy.

Likewise embracing your love life is necessary to surging this sickening loved up month. Unlike, so many on social media, you don’t have to be in a relationship to have a great Valentine’s Day. Amongst the ‘Boys done good’, sea of pandora rings, and new relationships which will be lucky if they last the month, embracing your own relationship status really is important- especially in February.

I am sure at one time or another we have all be shamed for being single, or have been told that the partner we have in our lives just isn’t the one for us. Yet, in the long run, all that matters is that you are happy- the options of sheep shouldn’t rule you life. Embrace what you have even if others don’t agree.

Stop- even if its just for an evening.

As a generation, us millennial love to be busy. We love to complain about the overtime we’ve accrued or the latest amount of responsibility that we have had shoved on our desk. A friend once said, ‘I’m just too busy to take care of myself’, a sad honest truth we are all guilty of saying. Well, isn’t it time we all just stopped and cared for ourselves for just one night. Whether its deleting twitter for a night, or inviting the girls round to dance to all of Atomic Kittens Greatest hits. Taking one night away from the busy life we have, isn’t going to effect anything. Stepping away from distractions is the best way to care for yourself, and isn’t that the best way to be your own valentine?

Treat yourself.

If you are anything like me, then spending time and money on yourself seems to fall by the wayside. Work, bills, social interactions all take president to the pamper we all deserve, The term pamper is personal, for some its having a bubble bath, for others its the full shebang, face masks and all. For me, its a fresh set of gels, a new piercing and an hair cut.

Finding your own way of treating yourself, isn’t selfish. There will always be something you should be doing, or even a task that you could have finished to a higher standard. These trivial aspects of our lives ultimately stop many of us stop treating ourselves, and for what? Absolutely beggar all.

Whether you have a valentine or not this year, treat yourself how you would love them to treat you. Bubble bath, foot rub, a good bottle of wine- sounds amazing to me. Having one night away from the responsibilities which play on your mind not only allows you to rest, but allows for you to focus on the task when you pick it up again.

Remember Valentine’s Day is merely 24 hours, you have the rest of your life to find who you are, embrace it.

Happy V-Day.

Em x

2018.

Let me set the scene, this time last year I was still massively in love with my ex, intent on losing weight and had I wanted the world – but with minimal effort. Even to this day I can’t quite understand what possessed the changes that 2018 brought, all I do know is I will be forever grateful for the life lessons 2018 has taught me.

Now by no means did any of these life lessons come easy, every change usually came after a heartbreaking decision which left me questioning myself. With the help of gin, laughs and even blogging 201, has become a year which turned into a surprising, yet thrilling

Throughout this post, I will share with you the things that I have learnt over the past year. From simple naive things my past self never knew, to the mammoth career change which allowed me to find my focus and fall in love with writing all over again. 2018, may have brought questionable political issues and a love of avacado no millenial ever knew they needed- but to me, 2018 has allowed me to realise that i am enough.

It doesn’t matter what others think of you.

NOW, where do I begin with this? In the past I have spent so much time worrying about how I come across to others. Constantly worrying that people who logically have no real impact on my life, don’t like more or judge my every movement. In past years its sent me into an anxious spiral which in turned into a battle with my own mental health. After being put on antidepressants a few months back, my mental health challenge began to subside, and with that I could build a sense of self. A sense of self that I have never had in the past 26 years of existence. And for that I will be forever grateful.

Embrace change.

As i looked back on the year i realised how much my life has changed. At the moment of those changes I began to have every area in my life questioned- not only by those around me but by myself too.

As time went on (literally talking 6 months, plus) I realised, whilst I still question my every move, I was still continuously moving forward. Whether or not others thought so, I was noticing the changes and that was enough. Every day I got up at 4.30 am, went to work and attempted to rectify any issues I had created the day before. This alone showed a tenacity I never knew I had. Yay, for me.

It’s perfectly okay not to be like your friends- And they should respect that too.

I have to say this could be my proudest achievement, my friends are beautiful, career driven, family focused women who constantly inspire me to push my own boundaries. Yet, for years I compared myself to them, so much so that it often left me feeling slightly insignificant. Actually more than slightly.

Realising that I am just as capable as my amazing friends, even with my Bridget Jones’ tendencies. Em Rambles is just as brilliant as so many others, all I had to realise was that I am totally worth it.

Saying no isn’t negative.

I’ve always wondered if saying no was a sign of weakness. Through out this year the term no, has gone from a negative term,into the most empowering word I know. I said no to a ex, I said no to toxic thoughts and I said no to others judgements holding me back.

Saying no is by no way derogatory, its empowering. Everyone should know the power of saying no.

Screw diamonds, chocolate is a girls best mate.

Think about it, period pains> chocolate. Break up> Chocolate. Life happens> Chocolate. No matter the time or issue, i find myself reaching for a bar of Dairy Milk, usually only last approximately 6.5 seconds.

No matter the shit storm, chocolate will always be my therapist, lover and ultimate comfort- as long as I ignore the calories and bulging waistline.

Dress however, the bloody hell you want.

Every man woman and child, at one point in their lives will feel down about their body. We will mutter things such as ‘ my arms look massive in this’, ‘I can’t wear this ‘cause off my huge muffin top’ and I promise not to mention those ‘thunder thighs’ you think you have. In any case, every question we mutter in front of the mirror, is only wasting time. Wear what your scared too and if any one has something to say, flick your hair and carry one.

They’re only jealous anyway.

You can find happiness in the simplest of places.

Not to go all Harry Potter esque on you, but I’ve come to realise that happiness comes from the smallest things. The rush of caffeine after your first coffee, taking your bra of immediately after entering the house and doing a boobie shake and even the pure satisfaction you get after ticking the last thing of your to do list. These simple pleasures we all know can make a bad day a little less shit and more freeing (literally).

2018 has been such a learning curve for me personally. The things I have spoken about above are all things that I have come to realise within the last 12 months. Whether you’re year has been amazing or the worst of your life I ask you to look for the positives. Even when the world seems dark, there will be one spark of positivity which can ease the bad days, whether its a pet, a loved one or even a cup of tea and a good book.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I hope it has you thinking about the life lessons 2018 has taught you. Leave a comment below and share them with my, and we can celebrate together.

Here’s to an amazing 2019!

Em Rambles. X

Happy Birthday, Mum.

On the date this blog post goes live it will be my mum’s birthday. I know many of you don’t know the relationship with my mum. So I thought I would introduce you to my amazing mum.

To celebrate the many years of awful presents, Mediocre gestures and the many forgotten cards, I thought I’d share with you just five things that my mum has taught me over the past 26 years. You see, my mum is pretty much one of my hero’s, as much as we argue, take the piss and annoy the crap out of each other. In a nutshell I know that no matter the situations life puts me in, I can cope because of the lessons she’s taught me.

So, mum, if you ever find your way onto this blog I simply wanted to say thank you for:

The definition of strenght.

I’ve made no secret on my blog that i have struggled with anxiety since me teens. What I may or may not have shared with you is my mum suffers with something similar. Throughout the years I have seen my mum battle with her mental health for years. Something that when I finally was diagnosed, I knew how to cope.

You see whilst my mum may sometimes feel like it,she has never given up. She gets up, goes to work, sees family and have a better social life than I ever have. Her mental health has its moments when things seem to go a little off yet, no matter the situation she has never given up on anything she has started. My mum is truly the strongest woman I know.

Mental health is difficult for anyone, sometimes our life has to stop to be able to start again down the line. Yet, for all intesive purposes my mum never has. If she was totally honest with her self, just for a moment she would find that no matter her struggle she has accomplished so much more than her self doubts would ever let her believe. Mental health issues or not, my mum will always be my hero.

It’s perfectly acceptable to say no.

One major difference between my mum and is how we show our affection for one and other. I, on one hand show love through hugs, and openly saying I love you. Yet, my mother is much more subtle in the way she shows her affection.

Offering her love through coffees and the occasional ‘are you okay?’. In her own way she reassures me through life’s problems, and whilst we often butt heads its our differences that makes the pair of us (I hope) realise that once I eventually own my own home, how much we will miss our caffeine filled arguments.

Any way my point with this is that, hugs, saying I love you and even the occasional pats on the back, sometimes make people feel uncomfortable- my mum for one. Each individual has there own comforts, for me that’s a hug at the end of the day, for my mum its running her a bath or making a brew she will ultimately not drink. In any case saying not to someone offering affection isn’t a weakness, its how someone else deals with their problems, when they and only they are ready they will come and let you know when you are needed.

It’s perfectly acceptable to laugh at your own jokes.

Whilst my mum and I may show our affection differently we both think we are hilarious. A sea of dirty jokes, jugedgments and sarcasm will ripen any sour day. This point may be little, and may be silly to some but this is my favourite characteristic of my mum. Her ability to laugh in any situation- even if it is some what inappropriate.

Mum, I love you to bits, keep making your dirty jokes, innuendos and I hope you continue to cackle through the next 365 days and more.

Don’t give up on people even if they give up on themselves.

Okay, now here’s this thing about my mum, whilst she may not be touchy feely, she has never given up on me, or for any one in her life for that matter. In the past I have made many mistakes, some I still regret to this day, but she has always taught me that the mistakes we make only shape the person we become. It doesn’t matter who you were 3 years ago it matters who you are right now.

So mum, here’s a little cheers to you, you have taught me so much more than this little list. We often argue, share chocolate and eye rolls, bu what I love about our realtionship the most is that no matter the time, place or even time of the month weve always got each other’s backs.

Simply put, the pair of us have been through a shit tone of stuff and there is plenty more to come. Whilst the world around us is constantly changing, my pure admiration for you will and has never differed.

I LOVE YOU MUM!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

P.S. Pornstar martinis to follow shortly.

Three 2018 realisations.

This year has been the year of,like, realising stuff- Kylie Jenner.

2018, has been a year I needed. An eye opening realisation, that the only thing holding my life back was me. And believe me it’s something I’ve rectified.

Over the years I’ve always thought I had to be some one else- that showing the real me would leave me lonely and insecure. Whilst at times I still feel those things in abundance, accepting who I am has only made me happier. With being happier my somewhat dull personality shines through, all the dorky, sarcastic and slightly flirty characteristics that once made my skin crawl sends me into hysterics. In short, 2018 is the year I finally accepted the person who I am and dropped my persona.

I’ve lost people along the way.

Towards the end of 2018, I backed away from a lot of friendships. Some I massively regret, others I’m not in the slightest bit bothered about. Losing the friends I have over the past 9 months has made me realise that friendships aren’t a two way street. Often one has feels the need to be there far more than the other. It’s unfair, but severely honest.I have always kept my friendship group small, I’m just not a ‘friends with everyone and their dogs, instantly’ kind of girl. And that’s perfectly okay.

In friendships I look for comfort. Comfort in the knowledge, that if I didn’t speak to a friend for months, if I needed them- they’d be there. Friends which bring sarcasm, prosecco and chic flicks after a break up( or just a Sunday). Being comfortable in any relationship is a big deal, and focusing on friendships which bring me nothing but comfort and sarcasm, are my best kinds of friendships.

Being selfish.

I’ve been pretty selfish over the past twelve months. And I am completely not ashamed to admit it. I’ve previously spoken about my anxiety and the struggles I have with confidence, being selfish was and still is needed.

I’ve slowly learnt to put myself first, to make my goals and happiness a priority. Waving goodbye to negative impacts, people and clothing(we’ve all got that sneaky dress hanging in our wardrobes that we will never fit back into). Over the past 9 months I feel better not only in my own skin but in the person who I am.

I may not be as confident as I would hope to be, but steps are being taken to unleash my inner Miranda priestly whilst of course embracing my Miranda heart qualities.

Accepting being alone.

For the longest time I’ve wanted to be with someone. I’d love to come home to a cuddle after an awful day at work, but unfortunately life had other plans for me. And as I write this post I Am so great fun it’s worked out that way.

Right now, I have some amazing changes coming, things that wouldn’t be a alive toe if I wear to be coupled up. As a rule I feel so empowered to continue to create a life that I want, that I deserve. I will never be the shell of a girl I once was and it wasn’t until I writing this post I realised, that no man ‘saved me’. I did, well, me, the girls and copious amount of gin.

In the next week I will be sharing some of the amazing news I’ve received recently. I can’t wait to share what is coming- 2019 is going to be the year of an empowered Em- and it’s about bloody time!

Always,

Em x

Three tips for finding relaxation in the festive season.

In a mist of shoppers regret, over prices train fares and Christmas parties, it’s safe to say the season of good will, can leave you feeling pretty low. Some days your left with no energy and a headache which will only be cured by drinking your body weight in mulled wine. The festive season may be fun for some but for others it can only bring a crisis of confidence.

As an anxiety sufferer Christmas often leaves me feeling a little hopeless. Jumping from one task to the next, on a constant conveyer belt of ‘ festive joy’ that leaves me feeling numb. In previous years, Christmas has left me feeling panicked and my confidence in tatters. The introduction of the three tips I am about to share with you has turned the festive season into something I look forward too(rather than despise). I hope some of the tips I share within this post will help you find relaxation within the festive season

Create a relaxing space.

I for one can vouch that working in a space filled to the rafters, will only cause more stress and mental strain. Finding some where in the world which doesn’t feel so overwhelming can be tough- many don’t even seem to find calm in their own home. Having a room, a chair or even a corner where you can just be, is something that will allow your mind to settle.

When you do find somewhere to yourself it is important that you create a space in which you feel comfortable in. Blankets, books, candles are all great but if they don’t bring you (and only you) comfort then they become a bit redundant. If gaming or even playing the spoons calms your nerves then its important your space should reflect it. For me writing is calming, creating a blog post and adding to a novel I’m currently dreaming up settles my anxiety- so creating a relaxing space for me revolves around that.

Take your time.

At times the festive season can give F1 a run for its money. People in general seem to be hurrying through the day. Things that probably could wait a little while have to be done right that second, others demand constant attention without a mere ‘Thank you’. Christmas and the festivities that come with the it are hectic- there’s no other way of putting it.

In the midst of everyone else’s whirlwind, it is sometimes easy to forget that it is perfectly acceptable to take things at your own pace. For the season of goodwill, there seems to be a lot of panic and carnage in it wake.

Three questions should be asked when things around you seem to be going at a 100 miles an hour:

  • Does it have to be done right now?-If it does need to be ticked off the to do list imminently then deal with it straight away. Prioritising tasks is difficult but it will help you deal with christmas effectively and on your own terms.
  • Can it be completed online?-For people who feel uneasy within a crowded enviroment. Sometimes the effects of being in a confined space can last for days. If buying a gift or booking an appointment can be done online, surely it would be much more beneficial to do so.
  • And is it worth it?-If a lynx gift set is really that important to Aunt Jean, then she may need to re-evaluate her lifestyle. Ask yourself this question when everything festive (or not) leaves you feeling drained, unappreciated and pissed off. Is this gift/experience worth leaving you in feeling low? No, it isn’t.

Taking your time is not selfish, having a moment when you need to is necessary when it comes to surviving the Christmas carnage. Allowing yourself to go at your own pace is an effective way to ensure that all your tasks are done without hindering your mental health, confidence and Christmas experience.

Spend time with people who love you.

As cliche as this sounds spending time with people who love you is an instant method of relaxation. A cuddle from your partner, a cup of tea from a grand parent or even a snuggle from a beloved pet have all be scientifically proven to relax. In the spirit of christmas, we often forget how important spending time with loved ones is. We never know what is happening in some one else’s head, so spending time with people who make our hearts happy may not only benefit you.

Mental health, low confidence and feeling generally exhausted are all things which shouldn’t effect christmas- yet they do. With 1 in 4 people in the UK dealing with depression, Christmas can often lead to unnecessary stress. Finding your own ways to block out other peoples issues is difficult, but ultimately necessary for surviving the christmas period.

Whether you are a Grinch or a Christmas lover this time of year is difficult for everyone. If the tips I have shared with you have helped in any way then please let my know in the comments below. Alternatively feel free to share your own tips for surving christmas.

Always love,

Em x

A reintroduction to Em Rambles.

Hello you lovely bunch.

After a delve into the Rambles archive I realised that I haven’t really introduced myself or my venture into blogging. I haven’t always been Em Rambles but I have always held the same values. Initially (when Look was my bible) I was heavily focused on fashion. However right you’d be hard up to find any clothing items within my think pieces. 2018 has been a year in which my content has changed but I’ve always been the same slightly odd, emotional Em.

Education.

Let’s get the boring stuff out of the way.

I have always had a huge love of fashion, I love the confidence a garment gives a woman. Adding a beloved blazer, a killer pair of heels or even a cheeky bit of lingerie, really allows a women, to feel confident in her own skin. So once I got my GCSE’s out of the way I went straight to college to study fashion. And honestly, I was just awful. My heart was in the right place but I just didn’t have the passion for pattern cutting others in my class did. Adding to the fact I have no spacial awareness and could be classed as a hazard to society. Over time I realised it was best to back away from the scissors after completing my course.

After struggling my way through college I some how managed to get the grades I needed to go to uni. In 2014, graduated with a 2:1 from the University of Northampton. AGAIN, I found that I was probably not cut out for the demanding environment of Fashion Marketing. So after working as a temp for a few years I now work in admin, and honestly I’m pretty happy about it.

Blogging.

I will never take my time at university for granted purely because my course leader pushed me (and other in my course) to blog. Blogging has given me so much confidence and even allowed me to have something that I was able to throw myself into when my personal life was nose diving.

I now own my site and have written some blogs posts I am really proud off. Without sounding too cheesey I have no idea where my blog will take me- or even if it will take me any where at all, but it makes me feel more myself than anything else in my life. And I will forever be great full to Sally for introducing me to the blogosphere.

Nerding it out.

I LOVE all things slightly nerdy: marvel, sic-fi dramas and of course a slight bit of magic (watch this space). From comics to film franchises and to wands i love anything that is remotely classed as ‘nerdy’. I may not be academic but i can argue who was the best hobbit like a good one.

The future

In the next few months I have some amazing opportunities I can’t wait to share with you. My next major change to my blog is a move from lifestyle content to mental health. I believe that some time every one needs a helping hand, and if I the blogs I create can help anyone- then for me it’s worthwhile.

2018 has been a year that brought massive changes. As I sit and write this post I can’t wait to diversify my content and focus my blog.

Here’s to an amazing blogmas and an exciting 2019!

Blogmas, my way.

Merry Christmas!

It’s December and that means only one thing! Blogmas or at least my own version of Blogmas. This year I wanted to write my own version of Blogmas, one that gives you lovely readers enough content but also allows me to not work constantly for the next 31 days.

I love Christmas and would love to enjoy both the festive season and blogging. Blogmas puts so much pressure on those of us who love the festive season. As some one who’s blogged for years I feel like I can safely say by the end of Blogmas most bloggers never want to hear the word Blogmas for at least another 11 months.

SO, in the hopes of saving my own sanity I have wrote myself a set of rules which will hopefully allow me to contribute to Blogmas in my own way.

1, Content doesn’t have to be festive.

Throughout the next month some of my content isn’t festive, infact its so removed from Christmas its unreal- and that’s perfectly okay. Christmas puts pressure on everyone and sometimes us mere mortals need to have a minute without a mince pie or festive joy.

The festive season is a difficult one, so having a break from festivities is a must for not only me but for others too.

2, Monday to Friday, only.

Over the past few years I have realised that I am in no way organised to contribute daily to Blogmas. As much as I adore writing I simply run out of inspiration come December 27th. Most poeple read content at weekend so uploading 7 post in a week can be excessive and some readers may miss a great post you’ve worked your arse off on.

Choosing to limit my Blogmas content came with a very heavy heart, if I’m totally honest I feel like I have let my self down a little, but for the sake of my mental health I have come to realise working full time and blogging daily is just too much for me right now.

3, ITS MY BLOGMAS.

As a rule blogmas runs form the 1st December to the 31st – that is a lot of content. I applaud any one who attempts to do this but for me personally, I don’t think its a viable option. With that being said, this is my blogmas, on my blog so i felt that it was about time i rewrote the rules.

I hope you understand and are ready for a few exciting introductions (including my monthly bar review to name one). Are you ready?

I don’t think I am,

(more…)

September.

Hello my loves,

If you haven’t guessed from the title, I am sharing with you all the things I’ve been up to over the month of September. As I sit and write this on the 23rd September (yes the day i published this post- I’m an organised little bean) I know that September needed to happen.

Throughout, this post I am sharing a lot of personal experiences, I never want to offend anyone else, but these are my experiences and I really think sharing them is important to not only ,self but to others which may be going through something similar.

Leeds.

Rather than start this post negatively, I want to share with you one of the best weekends I have had in a very long time. By nature I’m not a social creature: I love spending time in my own company. Yet, since starting my new job I have been trying my best to spend more time with friends.

On the first of September a gal pal and I went to one of my favourite cities in the world, Leeds. Staying the night at Park Plaza, we laughed, drank and (she) shopped. This weekend was filled full of all my favourite things and has even inspired a few blog posts which will hopefully be coming in the not too distant future.

I really have cherished this weekend because it truly did make me so happy. And quite honestly I don’t think I’ve laughed like that in a very long time!

The Ex.

*Internally sighs.*

Over the past few weeks I’ve started becoming a little more open to dating again. Maybe it’s because of the influx of couples surrounding me or maybe it’s just because I’m ready to bring someone new into my life. Whatever the reason, the past few weeks have been slightly eye opening.

I’ve openly discussed my passed relationships on this blog, so I feel like it’s only appropriate for me to share with you that I let me ex back into my life. After a few weeks of speaking old feelings started to rise to the surface and I was left questioning who I was again. There is no doubt in my mind that I loved the person who left me heart broken, but I know that we simply couldn’t work. My ex wanted something a lot more casual than I ever did.

Ultimately I ended up in tears asking said ex to delete my number and not contact me again. After a good cry and a couple of glasses of wine I soon realised that I didn’t need him. I love the idea of having a boyfriend, this was simply the final thing I needed to say goodbye to that relationship.

Sorry I know I shared this n my previous post but just feel so happy about this picture

Fuck it. I am enough.

Haven’t dropped the F bomb in a while have I?

Nevertheless, September was the month I realised that no matter how long the friendship, the relationship or experience, I am enough for me- and right now that’s all that matters. For years, I’ve constantly struggled with not feeling like I’m enough for people. Both in a relationships and general day to day life, I have never felt good enough in any situation that I’ve been through.

A lot of my insecurities are based on not being enough.

  • I’m not pretty enough.
  • I’m not thin enough.
  • Im not competent enough.

The list really is endless and exhausting.

In that very moment I asked the man I was once head over heels in love with to forget I ever existed, I realised I was enough. In that single moment, I showed myself more self love than I have ever done before. Dealing with endless questions , personal judgements and quite frankly brutal thoughts about myself, made me such a sad individual. Right now, i refuse to feel inferior to any one.

And it has continued.

Of course, I am going to be insecure about certain aspects of my life but on those days, I will always find comfort in the knowledge that I’ve lived through every ‘bad day’. Essentially in a strange round about way, I can finally say that I may not be happy with every aspect of my life but right now, I am finally happy with the person I am and the way my life is going.

If you’ve managed to get through this posts without having a nap in between then snaps to you! Thank you for sticking with me, I can’t wait to share with you how the next 31 days go.

Always love,

Em x

What blogging means to me.

Blogging, right now, is completely the love of my life. I love spilling out my ideas into words, even if noone reads them. My little blog, is just that. Mine.

Over the past year I have grown a little in confidence. Blogging has completely attributed to that. After finally being able to home in on the content that I want to create, I finally was able to start accepting my flaws and laugh the embarrassment of yet another fuck up away.

Truth be told I probably have an unhealthy attachment to the blogosphere. From dispising trolls and championing bloggers when they succeed. Blogging brought me out of my shell and allowed me to figure out ,somewhat ,who I wanted to be.

I will be forever grateful for that.

Having a voice.

For years I never felt my opinion mattered; I didn’t think I did. Being able to express that on my blog, to find others felt the same shocked me to my core.

The more I wrote, the more I found my opinion mattered. For months I didn’t understand that people were actively responding to the words I was using. I found a voice, that people didn’t seem to hate. And in time I started to listen to my own views more and more.

Bad dates, lack of confidence, my hatred of the way I look- I have pretty much shared my insecurities with every reader. The more I wrote the more I accepted the things that had happened to me, the shit I’ve done and laugh at the down right questionable experiences.

I found that I may just be somewhat relatable to others. And sharing my weird experiences, views and innuendos, might just make others feel less of a fuck up.

Relatable vs Luxury ?

With so many bloggers in the bloggersphere, everyone has blogs which relate to them. For me, personally, blogging is relatable. Even inspiring luxury blogs still home some sort of relatable aspects for most. Take Lydia Elise Millen, for example. Sure, she buys handbags I can only dream off, travels to places I may never see in my life time, but she is relatable. Her openness about mental health, feeling inadequate in not only her life but in the blogosphere and of course, her love of Zoflora.

No matter the genre, blogging is relatable to almost every person alive.

There’s so many bloggers.

According to Aquora.com, that in 2013 there was 152 million bloggers in the world. A figure which has grown rapidly since.

I have to admit even I was shocked at that figure- although not surprised. Of course there are a heck of a lot of bloggers out there, but that isn’t a bad thing. There is so much choice out there for readers. Genuine content, amazingly beautiful images and likeable bloggers thrive in the blogosphere.

The amount of bloggers for me personally, shown the amount of people that needed some where to find their voice. To share their loves, excitement and hopes for the future. As cheesey at the cheese counter at Sainsbury’s, blogging has allowed so many creators to find a voice, confidence and friends- it makes my heart burst with pride.

And me?

I love being relatable. Blogging for me has been something that I can be 100% honest with. The embarrassment of walking into doors, honesty about my life and even really dodgy fake tans- I hope my take makes others feel better about their misgivings.

Blogging is relatable to the reader- it’s that simple. A blog post may not be relevant to you at that time, but in six months, a year or even 5, it just may be.

Right now, I talk a lot about my point of view in life. And honestly that isn’t going to change. For me, product reviews can be saved for bloggers such as Debra Bow, travel for I’m just a girl and luxury Lydia Millen.

Being laugh out loud, relatable is me. And my blog should represent that. In such a (hate the word vomit I’m going to spill) saturated industry, you are you’re own selling point and if others don’t like it, then there’s plenty of other people that will.

Blogging is amazing. It’s that simple. I don’t intend in dropping it from my life or changing the content I create.

I am so happy I found blogging. It allows me to share my dorky stories, embrace the chaos and champion the new chapters in my life. Thank you for the people who continue to support me

Always love,

Em x