September.

Hello my loves,

If you haven’t guessed from the title, I am sharing with you all the things I’ve been up to over the month of September. As I sit and write this on the 23rd September (yes the day i published this post- I’m an organised little bean) I know that September needed to happen.

Throughout, this post I am sharing a lot of personal experiences, I never want to offend anyone else, but these are my experiences and I really think sharing them is important to not only ,self but to others which may be going through something similar.

Leeds.

Rather than start this post negatively, I want to share with you one of the best weekends I have had in a very long time. By nature I’m not a social creature: I love spending time in my own company. Yet, since starting my new job I have been trying my best to spend more time with friends.

On the first of September a gal pal and I went to one of my favourite cities in the world, Leeds. Staying the night at Park Plaza, we laughed, drank and (she) shopped. This weekend was filled full of all my favourite things and has even inspired a few blog posts which will hopefully be coming in the not too distant future.

I really have cherished this weekend because it truly did make me so happy. And quite honestly I don’t think I’ve laughed like that in a very long time!

The Ex.

*Internally sighs.*

Over the past few weeks I’ve started becoming a little more open to dating again. Maybe it’s because of the influx of couples surrounding me or maybe it’s just because I’m ready to bring someone new into my life. Whatever the reason, the past few weeks have been slightly eye opening.

I’ve openly discussed my passed relationships on this blog, so I feel like it’s only appropriate for me to share with you that I let me ex back into my life. After a few weeks of speaking old feelings started to rise to the surface and I was left questioning who I was again. There is no doubt in my mind that I loved the person who left me heart broken, but I know that we simply couldn’t work. My ex wanted something a lot more casual than I ever did.

Ultimately I ended up in tears asking said ex to delete my number and not contact me again. After a good cry and a couple of glasses of wine I soon realised that I didn’t need him. I love the idea of having a boyfriend, this was simply the final thing I needed to say goodbye to that relationship.

Sorry I know I shared this n my previous post but just feel so happy about this picture

Fuck it. I am enough.

Haven’t dropped the F bomb in a while have I?

Nevertheless, September was the month I realised that no matter how long the friendship, the relationship or experience, I am enough for me- and right now that’s all that matters. For years, I’ve constantly struggled with not feeling like I’m enough for people. Both in a relationships and general day to day life, I have never felt good enough in any situation that I’ve been through.

A lot of my insecurities are based on not being enough.

  • I’m not pretty enough.
  • I’m not thin enough.
  • Im not competent enough.

The list really is endless and exhausting.

In that very moment I asked the man I was once head over heels in love with to forget I ever existed, I realised I was enough. In that single moment, I showed myself more self love than I have ever done before. Dealing with endless questions , personal judgements and quite frankly brutal thoughts about myself, made me such a sad individual. Right now, i refuse to feel inferior to any one.

And it has continued.

Of course, I am going to be insecure about certain aspects of my life but on those days, I will always find comfort in the knowledge that I’ve lived through every ‘bad day’. Essentially in a strange round about way, I can finally say that I may not be happy with every aspect of my life but right now, I am finally happy with the person I am and the way my life is going.

If you’ve managed to get through this posts without having a nap in between then snaps to you! Thank you for sticking with me, I can’t wait to share with you how the next 31 days go.

Always love,

Em x

May’s Monthly Round Up.

Hello you lovely bunch,

Over the next few blog posts I want to strip it back and for back to my roots. Sharing with you my favourite things, what I’m up to and a few other tid bits. I’ve had a pretty poor time with my mental health and I really want to focus on more positive things. I hope you understand.

May has been a little bit of a whirl wind, with two Bank holidays, the Sun finding its way out of the clouds and the many a sun burnt Brit, it’s safe to say for most it’s been a good one. As much as my panic attacks have come back with a vengeance I think it has for me too. I’ve finally been able to sit and work out what I want and focus a lot of time and energy into figuring out how to get it.

IMG_4860

Leeds

In Sundays post I shared with you my slightly boring antics from a overnight stay in Leeds. I wont rabbit on about it again but I loved it. It was a perfect relaxed getaway. Definitely what the doctor ordered.

Infinity War

Again, I mentioned this is a blog post recently but I couldn’t pass up a time to write about it. I’m pretty much mind blown about the who thing! Marvel and the Russo Brothers are the best combination since bread and butter.

You have no idea how hard it is not to give away a spoiler or two…

New goals

From the 1st June I’ll be sharing with you my monthly goals. Naturally, I am the type of person who loves to focus her energy into bettering herself, but sometimes it gets all too much. So from now I am taking my mammoth to do list and chopping it into little pieces and tackling them each month.

Some of the goals are little mundane things like, finding a foundation that doesn’t split or finally getting my hands on some fake tan because I am slowly turning a shade of white milk would be jealous off. Others may be the heavier things in life, like finding out what an ISA is or looking into furthering my education. I think* that’s what you call balance.

Changing my Mindset.

As I’ve said in this post (and a few more posts to come) I’ve really been a bit of a Debbie downer recently. I could list the many reasons as to why but honest, I’ve let life drag me down and I hope that i can only get better from here.

May has been the month of realizing things can stay as is and if I want to have a different lifestyle then only I can change it. Focusing on more positive areas of my life means I am not only able to lead a happier life but be a positive person for people to be around.

And that’s always a bonus.

& The lil’ Blog Changes

I don’t think that many of you will notice the changes, or maybe you will. I’m stripping back my think pieces and focusing my time on more positive influences in my life. Sharing the things I love and focusing on the things that excite me rather than things that don’t.

I also, am trying to swear less in my blogs but if the odd fuck is thrown around, so be it.

And there you have it. May’s Monthly round up. It isn’t as exciting as I thought it may be, but this is something I wanted to share as in 6 months’ time I won’t be feeling like this: in six months’ time I can look back and realize that May 2018 was the month of realizing stuff.

What’s happening with you ? Has may been good to you? Or are you reaching for a bottle of wine and motivation like I am?

Always Love,

Em x

24 Hours in Leeds…

IMG_4834

Hey guys!

Recently I went on a little trip away with my mum. And I can tell you that it was very much needed(still is if I am 100% truthful). I think I can safely say that both mum and I enjoyed every minute. There were many giggles, lots bought and many G&T’s drank- maybe the last bit was only my experience.

Leeds will always have a special place in my heart- it was the first city I ever really fell in love with. The museum, to cocktails, the shops, there’s just something I love. So when we booked this 24hour get away I couldn’t wait to show my mum all the places I loved.

Opting for the train, (due to the fact I like a gin and its only a half an hour journey) we left the station at 8.27am and set of for a much needed night away.

The Hotel

A quick 10 minute walk from the station, Crowne Plaza, is brilliant. On outside looks, it does look like an office block, but as you walk through the turnstile doors it is really beautiful. With marble floorings, a grand stair case and a hipster bar, the hotel does hold something for most.

The wonderful hotel was made even better by the staff. They simply couldn’t do enough for us. We initially went to the hotel leave our bags and then run off to spend the next few hours shopping until our feet couldn’t walk any more. But the lovely lady(unfortunately I didn’t get her name) found us a room and we could check in early! She was so informative and welcoming it was the perfect start!

Opting for a twin room we initially thought the room would be quite small- which we were completely fine with. We were completely wrong. The rooms were spacious and the ‘twin’ beds were pretty much doubles! Hello star fish. The room was clean, warm and for a business hotel, are I say it, quite cheque. The grey interior made the room feel so cosy. There wasn’t much of a view but honestly what do you expect from a city hotel?

The bath room is pretty bog standard, a porcelain toilet, small bath and a massive sink. What I wasn’t counting on way the epic lighting and huge mirror! Its safe to say this hotel made both mum and I feel amazing, I will definitely go back!

IMG_4761

Saturday

After falling in love with the hotels, we decided it was best to venture out. So of course, we made our way to the Trinity shopping Centre. After deciding to start at the top ‘ and work our way around’- such a mum saying, we started went into a few stores before settling down for a coffee. I should note at this point we’d done some damage in Primark and I was starting to swear after every foot step- damn my what were once ‘comfy heels’.

After refueling we decided it might be time for lunch, so we headed to our go to place, giraffe. Both mum and I love the menu, there’s something for each of our tastes. Pide for mum and a burger for me all washed down with an Aperol Spritz, which surprisingly my mother who is notorious for hating all things prosecco. LOVED.

The rest of the afternoon resulted in a few Porn Star Martini at the Prince Albert, because I’m all about that 241 life. And a massive sweet/crisps/ carbs raid of M&S. Don’t we know how to live.

After a quick nap and a good amount of rummaging around the room- doesn’t everyone do that? We decided to venture down for a drink in the hotel bar. I do have to note that the drinks prices (even for a city) were high, my poor mother nearly had a heart attack at the price tag. Nonetheless, it was such a lovely way to spend the evening.

And what did we do after ? In true rambles style we went upstairs and ate our body weight in Colin the Caterpillars and fell into a carb coma.

And I have to note: that I had one of the best night’s sleep, ever that night.

SundayIMG_4770

Due to the fact we didn’t have to check out until 12, we had a little lie in. At around 9 (yes that’s a lie in for us early birds) we took a sleepy walk to the hotel restaurant and the buffet breakfast. We then discussed how much we loved the hotel and even gave a nod to coming back. After finishing up with our fry ups (who needs fruit and vitamins at a buffet breakfast anyway), we ventured back up the room to pack and put together a plan of action.

Deciding the 10 am was an acceptable time for a G&T, we strolled along with our bags in tow to the Slug and Lettice. This chain constantly surprises me. Sometimes the bar is horrifically busy and the staff are so rude it completely puts me off. Yet, at times like this where the staff were happily pootling along, I love it.

I will just put it out there that The Slug has had a bit of a Insta face lift. So if you can check out this branch, then I’d definitely recommend, even if it’s just for the beautiful millennial pink booths!

After a few drinks and the Trinity finally opening we went back to Primark and did some Damage. A couple of pairs of shoes, new pajamas and whatever else we could get our excited little hands on later we (I) decided we needed some carbs.IMG_4769

Crepe Affiliare it was! And it didn’t disappoint. Choosing a Nutella Pancake with Strawberries with and accompanying Nutella milkshake(Nutella is life) was the best way to finish of the weekend and honestly I don’t think I would have had it another way.

I’m really sorry for the lengthy AF blog post, but I just wanted to share with you my stay. I had such a wonderful, relaxing time I didn’t want to forget it. I often tend to buzz through life and don’t tend to sit and realize how important nights with your closest’ s truly is. It’s safe to say if you made it to the end of this post without a snooze somewhere in the middle you did well.

Hi five!

Always love!

Em x