The Life Switch up.

Hello you beautiful people.

I know, I know its been a while- and for that i am not in the least bit sorry. Life over the past few weeks has been quiet, with quiet came a few realisations. I realised that (and I don’t mean to boast- well maybe a little) but i finally feel like i have my shit together. Trust me, i am just as shocked as any one.

NOW, by no means do i have the answers to all the millennial issues. I am still shit with money, fat and my sex life is dryer than the Sahara desert- i’m just good with it. We are all to often caught saying

‘ you should only look back to see how far we’ve come’

But if you are anything like me, then you will only look to the positives of the past. Nights out, relationships, graduations are all things i compare my current life too. But what about the crippling anxiety, mounds of debt and self esteem lower to than my bank account. If i am to be perfectly honest, i really am bloody happy to be where i am today.

*cough* Cheesey as fuck*cough*

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Dieting.

Now lets start with the shit stuff. Dieting. My last blog spoke about my ‘ditching the term plus size’. Hatred for the term probably comes from the negative relationship with my body. Now, i look at dieting as a way to learn how to cook, how to prepare myself for the week ahead and even to a certain extent, how too budget. Dieting has been such an awful experience in the past. From rationing my food to living off 800 calories a day, i never wanted to be the size i am. Yet, here i am the wrong size of 25 with my huge bum and 28 E boobs (and yes, crippling back ache).

Right now i am technically dieting, Slimming world has been a way i can learn how to cook for my new veggie lifestyle. With friends and family not being the most supportive Slimming world has been a great network for recipes.

Dating.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Want some juicy goss? Then go somewhere else.

As with the rest of my life, my romantic life is non-existent- and like my body, i am good with it. Friends of mine are getting married, having babies and me? Well right now, I’m sat in the same room i grew up in drinking a corona, watching an Criminal Minds.

After a few shit relationships I finally understand the importance of being alone.I have replied heavily on my exes, i needed some one to tell me i was okay- as stupid as it sounds i was to scared to live my life independently.

Romantic relationships just isn’t something i am looking for right now, but if Prince Charming wants to fall into my life with a classic Nintendo and a few bottle of beer, then I wouldn’t run away.

Striving for independence.

Independence means a lot to different people. To some it means paying your own bills, to others it means traveling alone, for me? It simply means being comfortable enough to create something that i’ve been to scared too.

A few years back i was scared of everything. My mental health health nose dived, panic attacks took hold and i had no idea what i was doing one day to the next. So for me, its time to finally be able to stand on my own two feet and leave my anxieties in the past.

And goals? You better believe I’ve got them now and right now, i am smashing them (i mean to really, I’m not the Hulk).

  • BUY MY FIRST HOME.
  • BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM.
  • TRAVEL ALONE (even if it is only to centre parks)
Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Organising my shit

Guys i am pretty okay with admitting that i am not Marie Kondo but i have started appreciating organising my life. Making breakfast the night before, ironing my clothes ready for the week on Sunday night and cleaning my space much more often, has made me feel so much more in control of my own life.

Like with so many things in my life, of course there is most definitely more switch up’s up to come but organising my life has impacted my life so much. I am so excited, to see how the year (and my poor attempt at organisation) goes.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

2019 has flown by so quickly, its basically the middle of march and I have no recollection as to what happened to February. This little update and content switch up has been something i have wanted to do for a while. I have spent so much time wasting my life with poor relationships, low self esteem and just accepting that i was always going to unhappy – right now, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I finally feel like i am working towards the things i have always been too scared too.

And i promise to share them with you when i finish them.

Always,

Em x

Is it time to ditch the ‘plus’ in Plus Size?

Hello my beauties.

As i sit an write this , i cant help but stare and the copious amount of clothing I’ve been buying recently. With the recent developments in sizing, styles and stores, the Plus size market has become more profound than ever- right now, I am in total awe at how amazing the ‘plus’ size clothing is in the UK has become. For years the ‘Plus’ size clothing stores have been ill flattering, and lack all sense of fashion. With brands such as ASOS, River Island and even New Look have finally allowed the curvy amongst us to find affordable, fashionable clothing the ‘Plus’ size clothing market has never been as advanced.

Now, pals, i am by no means saying that there isn’t any room for improvement in the Plus Size industry. Seriously i can list the issues my 16-18 chunky bod has when fighting the losing battle trying to find something ‘nice’ in store. Yet, the growth the industry has had shows a complete shift in a much better direction. Empire lines, flowing material and more accesability show a much better understanding of a curvier woman’s need. I just can’t help but ask, with the growth in the industry i am left wondering isn’t it time to ditch the ‘Plus Size’ term altogether?

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

Outfit details.

Jumper: TU at Sainsbury’s.

Skirt: Primark.

Belt: Primark

Shoes: Raid via ASOS

Same clothing, same price.

Many stores now offer a plus size range, an has since started making the same pieces through out all their clothing. By this i mean much of the clothing in the plus size ranges is exactly the same (just sized higher) than much of the regular sized clothing. So, why am i walking up a flight of stairs to find a piece of clothing that i have seen 4 times down stairs?

As a rule, i don’t understand much within this segment of the clothing industry. Why should my reasonably sized boobs and Kardashian’s rival bottom mean I don’t fit into the Norm of clothing? Surely it would be better to make customers feel equal no matter the size of their behind ? Many stores argue that the fabric, patterns and even marketing equate to higher prices and being segregated from the rest of the other clothing items. Yet, with the fashion industry being one of the leading industries i highly doubt merging all areas of the clothing within a store will hardly knock the overall growth of the industry.

We’re not all made the same.

Understanding body shapes must rival the Pythagoras theorem. Every woman, is shaped differently regardless of your weight, Height and even style. As a woman who is constantly battling her weight, why should my clothing make me feel any less than ‘comfortable’?

Now, i understand that with a copious amount of body shapes, stores are fighting a losing battle. Some items will never look great on a pear shape whilst others items are just too short for a six foot frame.Yet, isn’t it better for people to have a level of trust in their favourite clothing brand rather than share the feeling of ‘ i can’t believe i have to go their again’. Taking plus size out of the equation for one moment, isn’t it worth creating a space where everyone has value?

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

Image taken by Rebecca Walker

A Trigger?

Now, i am fully aware that some suffering with eating disorders may find this triggering. Walking to a separate area, in which you can shop with in comfort is important. However, many of the plus sized clothing collections are placed in obvious spaces. Women have to walk through area which see stick thin Mannequins, small items of clothing all of which only amplify insecurites. If stores don’t want this collection to be triggering isn’t it time to group all collections together and let all shoppers be equal. And if not, move the curve items to a much more discreet area of the store.

The future?

The future of the clothing industry will hopefully hold so much more growth within the ‘Plus’ sized category and for me, that is dropping the notion of plus sized all together. On a daily basis we are told that our size shouldn’t define who we are, so why are we allowing clothing stores to tell us any different? Walking through a store filled with smaller sized items, means that many like myself are forced to see what we could be. In a world of fad diets, motivational quotes and fakery, i am ready to stand up and say my size does not define who i am. Nor should it define how i feel in stores i spend my hard earn money in.

I can’t be the only person in the world which hates the term ‘Plus Size’. The size of my hips shouldn’t restrict the clothing i have access too. With the constant demand for affordable, fashionable clothing, when will the High Street learn that all customers are just as important as one and other. The size and shape of your body has no correlation to you or your sense of style. Kardashian bums, mum tums and massive lady lumps shouldn’t be a restriction, it should be something we have and can parade in a gorgeous leopard print shirt.

So tell me, what do you think? Is it time all customers were treated equally, or do you have an entirely different opinion. Please let me know in the comments below.

Em x

Disclaimer : I paid for these clothes with my own money and have never worked with either

Time to be your own Valentine?

Valentines, Galentines, 50% chocolate specials whatever you associate with the season of love, its here. In amongst the new couples, chocolate binges and sobbing singles, Valentine’s Day can be something that takes its toll on so many. Whether you’re a loved up babe or a sassy single, Valentine’s Day should be a day we celebrate our longest relationship; the one we have with ourselves. In the words of Ru Paul, ‘ If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else’.

I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to celebrate yourself, the challenges you’ve face and the next steps of your life. Realising that you and you alone are solely responsible for all the things you have achieved and will continue to achieve. So grab a nice bottle of plonk, run a bath and leave the world at the door step. If a bubble bath isn’t for you, then its perfectly okay to rewrite the terms of your own valentines night.

Take time.

Okay, before i rant on about turning the world off i am. Fully aware that for many stepping away from the world on a week night probably isn’t an option. Parents, care givers and even people who have to work more than one job don’t get the option of having a night of. Yet their is one option you do have.

Taking your time- once the day is over with, is a luxury. Leaving deadlines at the doors, plodding along with your to do lists, without haste is rewarding. Having the ability to complete tasks without any rush allows you to relax and feel accomplished. Take your time isn’t always a bad thing, remember the tortoise and the hare?

Embrace who you are.

Everyone is different, therefore everyone’s way of relaxing is completely different. Listing to metal, watching the entirety of the Marvel universe and or even sitting in silence. Embracing your favourite things and running with them, is ultimately the most important thing in the season of love. If not, what’s the point? Go on, grab another chocolate and watch another episode of friends, make your soul happy.

Likewise embracing your love life is necessary to surging this sickening loved up month. Unlike, so many on social media, you don’t have to be in a relationship to have a great Valentine’s Day. Amongst the ‘Boys done good’, sea of pandora rings, and new relationships which will be lucky if they last the month, embracing your own relationship status really is important- especially in February.

I am sure at one time or another we have all be shamed for being single, or have been told that the partner we have in our lives just isn’t the one for us. Yet, in the long run, all that matters is that you are happy- the options of sheep shouldn’t rule you life. Embrace what you have even if others don’t agree.

Stop- even if its just for an evening.

As a generation, us millennial love to be busy. We love to complain about the overtime we’ve accrued or the latest amount of responsibility that we have had shoved on our desk. A friend once said, ‘I’m just too busy to take care of myself’, a sad honest truth we are all guilty of saying. Well, isn’t it time we all just stopped and cared for ourselves for just one night. Whether its deleting twitter for a night, or inviting the girls round to dance to all of Atomic Kittens Greatest hits. Taking one night away from the busy life we have, isn’t going to effect anything. Stepping away from distractions is the best way to care for yourself, and isn’t that the best way to be your own valentine?

Treat yourself.

If you are anything like me, then spending time and money on yourself seems to fall by the wayside. Work, bills, social interactions all take president to the pamper we all deserve, The term pamper is personal, for some its having a bubble bath, for others its the full shebang, face masks and all. For me, its a fresh set of gels, a new piercing and an hair cut.

Finding your own way of treating yourself, isn’t selfish. There will always be something you should be doing, or even a task that you could have finished to a higher standard. These trivial aspects of our lives ultimately stop many of us stop treating ourselves, and for what? Absolutely beggar all.

Whether you have a valentine or not this year, treat yourself how you would love them to treat you. Bubble bath, foot rub, a good bottle of wine- sounds amazing to me. Having one night away from the responsibilities which play on your mind not only allows you to rest, but allows for you to focus on the task when you pick it up again.

Remember Valentine’s Day is merely 24 hours, you have the rest of your life to find who you are, embrace it.

Happy V-Day.

Em x

Lazy Girls Guide to Confidence Boosting Skincare.

Hello, beautiful!

I’ve been debating writing a post similar to my Lazy Girls guide to Confidence Boosting Skincare, for a few months now. I’ve got such a love/hate relationship with my skin. The hidden secrets and confessions I share within this post are all products I use all the time! So I hope you enjoy! Now, let’s crack on!

Okay guys confession time, I am so lazy when it comes to skincare. Being some one who hates to sleep in make up but hates using approximately 97 products before she can hit the hay- Yeap, I am weird. Over the past few months, I have suffered severely with my skin. Mostly this is due to the combination of hormones and the artic conditions the UK has seen recently. When my skin is in bad shape, I feel terrible. Within the past month my skin has transformed and become much more nourished and dare I say it? Glowing.

The products I have shared with you are my go to products for my very lazy skincare routine. They’re all drugstore but-oh-so amazing.

Gainer Micellar Water, £4.99

Whether you’re a lazy skin care lover(like me) or a skin care aficionado, we can all agree that removing make up is skincare 101. And in my 10+ years of wiping away my poor attempts of instagram make up, I have never found anything as amazing as Garnier Micellar water. This light formula leaves my skin feeling fresh and clean ready for any other steps I fancy.

Another reason I adore this magic little potion is that it is available in most drug stores, supermarkets, airports- basically anywhere you can think of sells this god send.

Tea Tree and Witch Hazel spot stick, £4.49

A Boots own bargain!

Now as a rule I love Boots Tea Tree and Witchhazel range- but this spot stick is something else. When my hormones are at an all time high I get very painful cyst like spots (TMI, I know) which often leave me so conscious about my skin.

Applying this day and night cream to the spots doesn’t automatically change your skin but it does treat the readiness and eases the pain that comes with it. Over a week or two the spot subsides and the scaring really is left to a minimum.

Garnier, fresh-mix tissue mask, £2.99.

After Jamie Genieve raved about these amazing drugstore sheetmasks, I ran to books and bough 6.

The past few months has seen me struggle to apply make up or even just feeling comfortable on my no make up days, due to my sore dry skin. Applying the glow mask a few times a week really has helped my skin find a healthy glow that I’ve always wanted.

Unlike many, this sheet mask is so light and leaves minimal excess on my skin. And the excess product it does leave, is so easy to blend into the skin (with absolutely no effort). Garnier Fresh-Mix sheet masks have revolutionised my skin care- and I’m so happy about it.

Burts bee’s lip scrub, £6.99.

In the words of my best mate ‘Anything Burt’s Bees won’t ever let you down’ and she’s right. I have totally fallen in love with Burts Bees and don’t think I’ve been without a BB product in my hand bag for well over a year.

This honey sugar scrub is quite light and doesn’t leave any residue others do. The serum does club together but only takes a wipe and your lips are nourished and smooth. Perfect, and not messy!

Lanolips, £8.99.

Yes, I was one of the many influenced by Lydia Elise Millen to buy Lanolips. And honestly, it is bloody brilliant.

Adding Lanolips (in rhubarb), to my make up bag allows me to feel so much better even without make up. The nourishing gloss, not only helps my weather hating lips (literally every damn season) but the slight tint just finishes of my basic full face of Make up.

When I don’t use this product my lips return back into the sore dehydrated brains of my life they always are. Lanolips is my cure, for any lip issues I have, and all for £8.99!

Skincare is such a personal thing and if you’re a person who really loves to splurge on skincare then, you do you. Yet, for women such as myself I just don’t feel like an in-depth skincare routine is for me. These simple, yet effective products are things I reach for daily and couldn’t not share these affordable skin care items with you.

Hope you enjoyed!

What do you use in your skincare routine? Do you use any of the products I’ve talked about? Or do you even adore a lavish skincare routine? Please let me know in the comments.

Em x

An interview with Steph’s World

Heys guys, lil ol’ me again, but this time I am bringing you something very special.

After meeting in a pod nearly a year ago, Steph has become some one who I couldn’t live without. Our weekly updates, giggles and hufflepuff pride make my heart burst with pride. If blogging doesn’t give me anything else I’m proud to say it has helped me find not only an amazing blogger but a best mate in the process. So before I get overly emotional, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Steph’s World.

The Interview.

Hi Steph,

Hope you’re well and had a lovely Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, how did you spend it ? And what was your highlights ?

P.S. Hope Santa was nice.

Hey Em, thank you so much for letting me be part of this series which I love! Christmas was so nice, but seems so long ago now. Working full-time; it was nice just to be able to sit back and relax over the festive period. On Christmas Day, myself and my boyfriend spent the morning with my family opening gifts before heading to his sisters house for Christmas Dinner (yum yum), a few rounds of “What do you Meme” and a huge cheese board.

‘Santa treated me very well this Christmas. I am very lucky to have received lots of Charlotte Tilbury goodies, new Hunter Wellies as well as a new strap for my Fitbit and a gorgeous Barbour scarf which has been so perfect for the cold weather. ‘

Steph has been such a monumental part of my blogging experience. From moments of empowerment when I almost gave up to promoting my little space of the internet- blogging would be so much less fulfilling with out my fellow blogger.

With that being said, I couldn’t help but wonder what blogging means to Steph.

Thank you so much for being so kind. Blogging to me is all about having fun with writing. If I don’t feel like sitting down and writing a post, I just won’t do it. I feel like I want to put 100% into my posts as they will be there for me to reflect on in years to come. I already sit down and read my past travel posts or my theatre reviews to relive those memories I love. I wanted to make my blog into my own little journal and somewhere to be able to be creative.’

Arguably, Steph is one of the most creative people I have ever spoken too. She constantly amazes me by endlessly supporting others in so many innovative ways. None more so than her annual Christmas Q/A. As some who has had the pleasure of taking part for the past 2 years, I wondered if she would be continuing one of my favourite traditions.

Asking me at this time of the year is very wrong haha. I love my Christmas Blogger Q&A series so much that I have ran it now for three years. I always forget how much work and preparation I have to put into it for it to run smoothly in December. Even then I do have a few fails where I forget to publish a post (oops).

Will it be something I continue though? You heard it here first – Steph’s World will be running the Christmas Blogger Q&A in 2019!

I don’t think the run up to Christmas would be the same without it, so I will be doing them for as long as I can and people aren’t sick of it.

I have a ‘Behind the Scenes’ post on my blog if you’d like to snoop into how I run my series.

Speaking of Steph’s immense creativity, I wanted to share with you the creativity she shares throughout the other 11 months of the year. One of the most exciting things Steph has spoken about is wanting to develop her blog more.

Every year I seem to want to have a little shake-up on my blog; whether it’s refining the “Lifestyle Blogger” categories I want to cover or changing my blog theme and style.

In 2019, I would love to create more mini-series on my blog as well as another potential Guest Blogger series in the Summer. Watch this space…’

With Steph wanting to refine the ‘Lifestyle Blogger’ category, I was brought back to one of the most empowering blog post’s Steph has ever written. A few months ago Steph shared her own battle with hair loss. As a friend, I was immensely proud of the honest and empowering post she had written. I wondered if in the future she would be open to sharing more health related posts.

Thank you so much for your love and support – honestly, you made sharing my story a little easier knowing I had an amazing friend like you by my side.

Sharing my journey was so hard for me. When I started my blog, I was very much in the middle of my hair loss. I kept very anonymous on my blog with no current photos of me because I was worried about how my hair looked. One of the reasons I set up my blog was to share my story – but then it took me over another 2 years to actually share it. ‘

I knew I wanted to share my experience of hair loss as when I was going through it, I struggled to find other people’s stories and essentially I wanted to see that they came out of it the other side. Now that my hair has come back to a state I’m proud of, I knew I had to sit down and make that draft post into a published post. It was difficult, very heartbreaking to have to see how far I came through it, but it was needed. The response from fellow bloggers and even strangers on the internet who wanted to hear my story, ask further questions and ask for advice since sharing the post has made it all worth while. To me, that’s what Blogging is about.

Throughout this interview you will probably come to realise I have so much admiration for Steph, not only for the empowerment she provides others, but because she constantly astound me. To me, Steph is everyone’s blogging best mate- the exact reason she started her blog.

With that in mind i wanted to ask her what she wanted others to think when reading her blog.

‘“Omg, I would love for her to be my Best Friend”. Ok, I’m joking about that.

I just hope that people have fun and enjoy reading my posts. Whether they are informative, enjoyable to have a nosey into my life or look at some photos I’ve took, I just want people to have fun. I hope that comes across in my posts. ‘

Spoiler* she completely did…

Personal

Steph may not realise this but in the 365 days I have known her she has grown into such an amazing person. Every conversation we have leaves me proud and I can’t wait to see what 2019 holds for this amazing twenty something. No matter what happens this year there is two thing’s both Steph and I will always have, and that is our love of Harry Potter and her being a constant source of inspiration.

From donning her Hufflepuff scarf, to being genuinely one of the most supportive people on the internet I can honestly say Steph’s World is the home of Hufflepuff (well, other than Hogwarts). With that in mind, I wanted to asked who inspired her.

Hufflepuff Pride!

I’m inspired by so many people, too many to mention – one has to be the lovely Em Rambles though!

I am a massive scroller through Twitter and Instagram always on the hunt for new blogs to read. I find the community is so creative and I draw a lot of inspiration from them.

I can’t say I keep up to date with celebrities, but I do follow the like to Giovanna Fletcher, Mrs Hinch, Zoella & Carrie Hope Fletcher who keep me inspired to keep creating. ‘

I sent over these questions, just a few days into the new year but being the nosey buggar I am, I wanted to know what 2019 would hold for Steph.

*Teddy cuddles not included. (Teddy is Steps adorable family pet who i adore!)*

Totally just Teddy cuddles. He’s just like a fluffy bear!

2019 will be a year of surprises I think. I will be looking to make a bit leap into adulthood by getting on the property ladder (if all goes well). I don’t have a lot mapped out for the year, apart for being Bridesmaid for 2 weddings this year and a couple of planned theatre trips.

Here’s to finding out what 2019 has in store for me. ‘

And there you have it, an interview with one of the best people on the internet. Steph has been such a positive impact on my life, I couldn’t help but share my love and admiration for her. I can only hope that I am as good of a friend as she is.

So if you wanted to get to know this wonderful woman a little more you can find her here.

Instagram: @StephsWorld_X

Twitter: @StephsWorld_X

Blog: www.StephsWorld.com

2018.

Let me set the scene, this time last year I was still massively in love with my ex, intent on losing weight and had I wanted the world – but with minimal effort. Even to this day I can’t quite understand what possessed the changes that 2018 brought, all I do know is I will be forever grateful for the life lessons 2018 has taught me.

Now by no means did any of these life lessons come easy, every change usually came after a heartbreaking decision which left me questioning myself. With the help of gin, laughs and even blogging 201, has become a year which turned into a surprising, yet thrilling

Throughout this post, I will share with you the things that I have learnt over the past year. From simple naive things my past self never knew, to the mammoth career change which allowed me to find my focus and fall in love with writing all over again. 2018, may have brought questionable political issues and a love of avacado no millenial ever knew they needed- but to me, 2018 has allowed me to realise that i am enough.

It doesn’t matter what others think of you.

NOW, where do I begin with this? In the past I have spent so much time worrying about how I come across to others. Constantly worrying that people who logically have no real impact on my life, don’t like more or judge my every movement. In past years its sent me into an anxious spiral which in turned into a battle with my own mental health. After being put on antidepressants a few months back, my mental health challenge began to subside, and with that I could build a sense of self. A sense of self that I have never had in the past 26 years of existence. And for that I will be forever grateful.

Embrace change.

As i looked back on the year i realised how much my life has changed. At the moment of those changes I began to have every area in my life questioned- not only by those around me but by myself too.

As time went on (literally talking 6 months, plus) I realised, whilst I still question my every move, I was still continuously moving forward. Whether or not others thought so, I was noticing the changes and that was enough. Every day I got up at 4.30 am, went to work and attempted to rectify any issues I had created the day before. This alone showed a tenacity I never knew I had. Yay, for me.

It’s perfectly okay not to be like your friends- And they should respect that too.

I have to say this could be my proudest achievement, my friends are beautiful, career driven, family focused women who constantly inspire me to push my own boundaries. Yet, for years I compared myself to them, so much so that it often left me feeling slightly insignificant. Actually more than slightly.

Realising that I am just as capable as my amazing friends, even with my Bridget Jones’ tendencies. Em Rambles is just as brilliant as so many others, all I had to realise was that I am totally worth it.

Saying no isn’t negative.

I’ve always wondered if saying no was a sign of weakness. Through out this year the term no, has gone from a negative term,into the most empowering word I know. I said no to a ex, I said no to toxic thoughts and I said no to others judgements holding me back.

Saying no is by no way derogatory, its empowering. Everyone should know the power of saying no.

Screw diamonds, chocolate is a girls best mate.

Think about it, period pains> chocolate. Break up> Chocolate. Life happens> Chocolate. No matter the time or issue, i find myself reaching for a bar of Dairy Milk, usually only last approximately 6.5 seconds.

No matter the shit storm, chocolate will always be my therapist, lover and ultimate comfort- as long as I ignore the calories and bulging waistline.

Dress however, the bloody hell you want.

Every man woman and child, at one point in their lives will feel down about their body. We will mutter things such as ‘ my arms look massive in this’, ‘I can’t wear this ‘cause off my huge muffin top’ and I promise not to mention those ‘thunder thighs’ you think you have. In any case, every question we mutter in front of the mirror, is only wasting time. Wear what your scared too and if any one has something to say, flick your hair and carry one.

They’re only jealous anyway.

You can find happiness in the simplest of places.

Not to go all Harry Potter esque on you, but I’ve come to realise that happiness comes from the smallest things. The rush of caffeine after your first coffee, taking your bra of immediately after entering the house and doing a boobie shake and even the pure satisfaction you get after ticking the last thing of your to do list. These simple pleasures we all know can make a bad day a little less shit and more freeing (literally).

2018 has been such a learning curve for me personally. The things I have spoken about above are all things that I have come to realise within the last 12 months. Whether you’re year has been amazing or the worst of your life I ask you to look for the positives. Even when the world seems dark, there will be one spark of positivity which can ease the bad days, whether its a pet, a loved one or even a cup of tea and a good book.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I hope it has you thinking about the life lessons 2018 has taught you. Leave a comment below and share them with my, and we can celebrate together.

Here’s to an amazing 2019!

Em Rambles. X

Happy Birthday, Mum.

On the date this blog post goes live it will be my mum’s birthday. I know many of you don’t know the relationship with my mum. So I thought I would introduce you to my amazing mum.

To celebrate the many years of awful presents, Mediocre gestures and the many forgotten cards, I thought I’d share with you just five things that my mum has taught me over the past 26 years. You see, my mum is pretty much one of my hero’s, as much as we argue, take the piss and annoy the crap out of each other. In a nutshell I know that no matter the situations life puts me in, I can cope because of the lessons she’s taught me.

So, mum, if you ever find your way onto this blog I simply wanted to say thank you for:

The definition of strenght.

I’ve made no secret on my blog that i have struggled with anxiety since me teens. What I may or may not have shared with you is my mum suffers with something similar. Throughout the years I have seen my mum battle with her mental health for years. Something that when I finally was diagnosed, I knew how to cope.

You see whilst my mum may sometimes feel like it,she has never given up. She gets up, goes to work, sees family and have a better social life than I ever have. Her mental health has its moments when things seem to go a little off yet, no matter the situation she has never given up on anything she has started. My mum is truly the strongest woman I know.

Mental health is difficult for anyone, sometimes our life has to stop to be able to start again down the line. Yet, for all intesive purposes my mum never has. If she was totally honest with her self, just for a moment she would find that no matter her struggle she has accomplished so much more than her self doubts would ever let her believe. Mental health issues or not, my mum will always be my hero.

It’s perfectly acceptable to say no.

One major difference between my mum and is how we show our affection for one and other. I, on one hand show love through hugs, and openly saying I love you. Yet, my mother is much more subtle in the way she shows her affection.

Offering her love through coffees and the occasional ‘are you okay?’. In her own way she reassures me through life’s problems, and whilst we often butt heads its our differences that makes the pair of us (I hope) realise that once I eventually own my own home, how much we will miss our caffeine filled arguments.

Any way my point with this is that, hugs, saying I love you and even the occasional pats on the back, sometimes make people feel uncomfortable- my mum for one. Each individual has there own comforts, for me that’s a hug at the end of the day, for my mum its running her a bath or making a brew she will ultimately not drink. In any case saying not to someone offering affection isn’t a weakness, its how someone else deals with their problems, when they and only they are ready they will come and let you know when you are needed.

It’s perfectly acceptable to laugh at your own jokes.

Whilst my mum and I may show our affection differently we both think we are hilarious. A sea of dirty jokes, jugedgments and sarcasm will ripen any sour day. This point may be little, and may be silly to some but this is my favourite characteristic of my mum. Her ability to laugh in any situation- even if it is some what inappropriate.

Mum, I love you to bits, keep making your dirty jokes, innuendos and I hope you continue to cackle through the next 365 days and more.

Don’t give up on people even if they give up on themselves.

Okay, now here’s this thing about my mum, whilst she may not be touchy feely, she has never given up on me, or for any one in her life for that matter. In the past I have made many mistakes, some I still regret to this day, but she has always taught me that the mistakes we make only shape the person we become. It doesn’t matter who you were 3 years ago it matters who you are right now.

So mum, here’s a little cheers to you, you have taught me so much more than this little list. We often argue, share chocolate and eye rolls, bu what I love about our realtionship the most is that no matter the time, place or even time of the month weve always got each other’s backs.

Simply put, the pair of us have been through a shit tone of stuff and there is plenty more to come. Whilst the world around us is constantly changing, my pure admiration for you will and has never differed.

I LOVE YOU MUM!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

P.S. Pornstar martinis to follow shortly.

Three 2018 realisations.

This year has been the year of,like, realising stuff- Kylie Jenner.

2018, has been a year I needed. An eye opening realisation, that the only thing holding my life back was me. And believe me it’s something I’ve rectified.

Over the years I’ve always thought I had to be some one else- that showing the real me would leave me lonely and insecure. Whilst at times I still feel those things in abundance, accepting who I am has only made me happier. With being happier my somewhat dull personality shines through, all the dorky, sarcastic and slightly flirty characteristics that once made my skin crawl sends me into hysterics. In short, 2018 is the year I finally accepted the person who I am and dropped my persona.

I’ve lost people along the way.

Towards the end of 2018, I backed away from a lot of friendships. Some I massively regret, others I’m not in the slightest bit bothered about. Losing the friends I have over the past 9 months has made me realise that friendships aren’t a two way street. Often one has feels the need to be there far more than the other. It’s unfair, but severely honest.I have always kept my friendship group small, I’m just not a ‘friends with everyone and their dogs, instantly’ kind of girl. And that’s perfectly okay.

In friendships I look for comfort. Comfort in the knowledge, that if I didn’t speak to a friend for months, if I needed them- they’d be there. Friends which bring sarcasm, prosecco and chic flicks after a break up( or just a Sunday). Being comfortable in any relationship is a big deal, and focusing on friendships which bring me nothing but comfort and sarcasm, are my best kinds of friendships.

Being selfish.

I’ve been pretty selfish over the past twelve months. And I am completely not ashamed to admit it. I’ve previously spoken about my anxiety and the struggles I have with confidence, being selfish was and still is needed.

I’ve slowly learnt to put myself first, to make my goals and happiness a priority. Waving goodbye to negative impacts, people and clothing(we’ve all got that sneaky dress hanging in our wardrobes that we will never fit back into). Over the past 9 months I feel better not only in my own skin but in the person who I am.

I may not be as confident as I would hope to be, but steps are being taken to unleash my inner Miranda priestly whilst of course embracing my Miranda heart qualities.

Accepting being alone.

For the longest time I’ve wanted to be with someone. I’d love to come home to a cuddle after an awful day at work, but unfortunately life had other plans for me. And as I write this post I Am so great fun it’s worked out that way.

Right now, I have some amazing changes coming, things that wouldn’t be a alive toe if I wear to be coupled up. As a rule I feel so empowered to continue to create a life that I want, that I deserve. I will never be the shell of a girl I once was and it wasn’t until I writing this post I realised, that no man ‘saved me’. I did, well, me, the girls and copious amount of gin.

In the next week I will be sharing some of the amazing news I’ve received recently. I can’t wait to share what is coming- 2019 is going to be the year of an empowered Em- and it’s about bloody time!

Always,

Em x

A Winter Retreat at Home.

A winter retreat, sounds beautiful doesn’t it?

Well, the ladies at Build a Life You Love thought so too. So this wonderful Mother/Daughter duo put pen to paper and wrote the most refeshing mental health book there is( well at least I think so). The Winter retreat takes you on a ‘journey’ of self care. By breaking down different areas of your life allowing you to focus and better your mental health, life and values.

I was lucky enough to receive a copy of ‘ The Winter Retreat’ from the wonderful ladies at Build a Life You Love- and I have to say its been a game changer. The festive time isn’t a period I don’t look forward too. Not because I hate christmas but I don’t like the effects the season of goodwill has on my mental health.

In the past I have spoken openly about my struggles with anxiety, so when Buble starts playing in every store in the land and people run about with a manic look in their eye, I become totally overwhelmed.

‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of some one else’- Judy Garland.

The Winter Retreat by Build a Life You Love, is one of the most important books I’ve ever read. In many ways this book is a self help guide but I personally like to call it my ‘ get me through life book’. The Winter Retreat allows you to asses all areas of your life including Money, your body and your virtual space. Throughout the book some pages are left blank, to allow you to asses your own life and map out how you can move forward positively.

Like the post is shared with you, yesterday, The Winter Retreat is all about having the ability to cope when you are overwhelmed. By assessing certain areas of you life and focusing on positively moving forward, The Winter Retreat can be a base of positivity of your life. For me personally certain pages spoke to me more than others. These points have been studied within an inch of its life and honestly, I never want to be with out this self help guide!

Throughout this post I wanted to share with you how this book relates to my life, in hopes that you think this guide will help you too. Remember folks, we all need a helping hand sometimes and this could be yours.

Your Body.

‘ There are sounds everywhere, Slow Down, take your time and breathe.’- The Winter Retreat.

In times of chaos we completely ignore the amount of rest our body needs, The Winter Retreat has a whole section on finding what your body needs- rest. Wrapping up in your thickest coat and snuggliest scarf, and going for a walk, listening to an audio book in the bath, are both ways people allow their body to rest. Finding your own ways to rest is key to feeling more like yourself and not an imposter.

Your Money.

‘ Take your time and try to spend ever penny but no more’.- The Winter Retreat.

As per many millennials out there I am awful when it comes to money. Whilst at uni i got into a lot of debt. I had overdrafts on my overdrafts- I never realised how difficult it would to pay them back or even find a job to afford to pay the awful things back. Yet, it happened- still to this day I don’t quite know how.

This part of the book spoke on another level. Christmas is upon us and like so many around I tend to go a bit swipe happy with my bank card. Nights out, christmas presents and what ever festive outing is thrown your way. Sticking to a budget is difficult in general but at christmas it becomes so much harder. The Winter Retreat discusses ways to budget effectly no matter the season.

Your Virtual Space.

‘Whatever we think about social media, it seems to be here to stay. So how about using it to enhance your life’-The Winter Retreat.

As a blogger I am fully aware at how toxic the virtual space can be. However, what blows my mind more is the ability the online world has to allow unlikely freindships to bloom. Take my relationship with Steph, for example. We met through blogging and my life would be missing much loved friendship without her. For that and that alone, blogging has enhanced my The Winter Retreat has enabled me to plan a few more things I never believed I could do.

Your community.

How about slowing everyone down and writing a letter.’ – The Winter Retreat.

Adoring your friends and family from behind a phone screen is something that everyone has done- I personally know I am guilty of it. My friends and close family so dear to me yet, I am still glued to my phone 90% of the time- and vice versa.

Putting your phone down and spending time with your loved ones is a retreat in itself. Even when arguments arise and the tensions settle ask yourself if you would want to be anywhere else?

Your Spirit.

‘ The final excersize in our Winter Retreat vision board.’- The Winter Retreat.

Spirit, means a lot of different things to different people- a ghost, your soul or even an alcoholic measure. Needless to say in this case YOUR SPIRIT is in regards to the motivation that comes from working on yourself. The spirit that pushes you to become better and develop your own goals and ambitions.

With the changes the book introduces the final segment of The Winter Retreat, introduces the motivation to finally put plans into action, for me it was questions about my body image and future career, for you? Well the possibilities are endless.

LETS BE HONEST, NOW.

This book will only help change your life if you want it too. Buying this book will not immediately change your life – its not the good fairy from cinderella. What `this book does do allow you to do is look at your own life and find the changes YOU want to make.

The Winter Retreat, cost £20 and is available here. I understand £20 can seem a lot but if you are feeling a little overwhelmed this book would be perfect for you.

I know this ‘review’ isn’t a generic review but I wanted to share my reaction to The Winter Retreat. This book has helped me put my thoughts in order and gave me the ability to really focus on my future. So thank you to Build a Life You Love for creating such a wonderful self care guide.

Always love,

Em x

A disclaimer: I answered a twitter ad an got accepted to review this wonderful book. I pride myself on being totally honest throughout my content so this review is in no way false. I truly love this book. For some one like me, it really is perfect!

Finding my style: Finding myself.

2018 has been a year and a half, hasn’t it? From awful political figures to the weirdest British summer of the century, 2018 seems to have everything.

For me personally, I found that my style massively reflects my mood. If I love a certain element of my outfit then I feel like I can tackle the day. As much as I am aware that this is quite superficial, it’s something I want to explore. From bright red sock boots to getting rid of the very orange toned blonde, 2018 has been the year I’ve found my style and with it self love I’ve never known before.

Letting go of the rules…

‘I can’t wear that, I’m too fat’.

Trust me, I’ve gotten tired of saying those words- usually standing next to something I adore. Over the past few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what my style would be like if I stopped playing by he rules. In truth, I think I’d be so much happier.

The start.

I recently followed in the tracks of Lydia Elise Mullen and started to build my stack. My helix and second wholes are one of my favourite things I have ever purchased. Everytime I see that simmering gold training stud in the mirror I’m reminded that I’m slowly edging toward the person I want to be (vomits profusely). A more confident, happier person who is taking steps to build a wardrobe she adores.

This skirt is something I wouldn’t have felt comfortable wearing a few months ago. This pink baby is £13 from Primark and perfect for the Christmas season. Also please mind the radiator.

New additions.

I recently bought a camo jacket from Primark, and honestly it could be one of the best purchases I have ever bought. Every time I throw it over a very basic outfit I feel so much more myself. As a woman who loves all things neutral having pieces like my camo jacket Really allow me to express my personality through clothing. When i wear prices such as this I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, because I am being myself.

My love of neutrals is never going to die, intact, my heart will always be drawn to a black, white or beige polo. However my confidence does grown when I find something I adore that allows me to stand it from the crowd – even if it’s just a little.

Why Now?

Maybe the change in attitude is because of my recent birthday, or maybe, it’s down to being bored with feeling completely worthless. Looking for something to bring me out of my shell and grab life by the balls was never going to be easy for some one with the outlook on life that I do. So if I can find the confidence from a bold lip, a camo jacket or even my very much well loved red bag, then you can bet that I’m going to be rocking them to e high heavens.

From now on?

*sings in the voice of Hugh Jackman*

Letting go of the ‘classic’ rules has allowed me to share my own. The ‘rules’ are things I will be telling myself when I’m about to buy something I wouldn’t usually.

When in doubt, it’s one for a red lip– this winter intend on finding my red lip. Especially for those moments when you feel like you need an extra boost. Red lips are apparently * a rest confidence boost and every now and then don’t we all need one.

Say yes. Now this is an easy one:

  • If I love it.
  • Can afford it.
  • And think I’ll wear it more than 5 times in a month.
  • I’m buying it
  • Treat myself. Currently as I write this there is an absolutely stunning pair of celestial inspired earrings from Thomas Sabo. I’ve had I’m beady eyes on them ever since I saw Victoria from In the Frow, wear them in August. They’ve very beautiful (but quite expensive) earrings are something I just can’t stop thinking about them. Maybe they could be my birthday present to me?
  • What ever happens, I’m so excited to develop my style in a way that expresses my personality. I’ve always been a girl to blend into the background, only coming into the forefront when my sarcastic comments and eye rolls make some one giggle. I can’t wait to develop my style in a way that makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin. Here’s to the next few months and purchases… I’m sure you’ll find out about them in a blog post or two.
  • Always,
  • Em x