Time to be your own Valentine?

Valentines, Galentines, 50% chocolate specials whatever you associate with the season of love, its here. In amongst the new couples, chocolate binges and sobbing singles, Valentine’s Day can be something that takes its toll on so many. Whether you’re a loved up babe or a sassy single, Valentine’s Day should be a day we celebrate our longest relationship; the one we have with ourselves. In the words of Ru Paul, ‘ If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else’.

I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to celebrate yourself, the challenges you’ve face and the next steps of your life. Realising that you and you alone are solely responsible for all the things you have achieved and will continue to achieve. So grab a nice bottle of plonk, run a bath and leave the world at the door step. If a bubble bath isn’t for you, then its perfectly okay to rewrite the terms of your own valentines night.

Take time.

Okay, before i rant on about turning the world off i am. Fully aware that for many stepping away from the world on a week night probably isn’t an option. Parents, care givers and even people who have to work more than one job don’t get the option of having a night of. Yet their is one option you do have.

Taking your time- once the day is over with, is a luxury. Leaving deadlines at the doors, plodding along with your to do lists, without haste is rewarding. Having the ability to complete tasks without any rush allows you to relax and feel accomplished. Take your time isn’t always a bad thing, remember the tortoise and the hare?

Embrace who you are.

Everyone is different, therefore everyone’s way of relaxing is completely different. Listing to metal, watching the entirety of the Marvel universe and or even sitting in silence. Embracing your favourite things and running with them, is ultimately the most important thing in the season of love. If not, what’s the point? Go on, grab another chocolate and watch another episode of friends, make your soul happy.

Likewise embracing your love life is necessary to surging this sickening loved up month. Unlike, so many on social media, you don’t have to be in a relationship to have a great Valentine’s Day. Amongst the ‘Boys done good’, sea of pandora rings, and new relationships which will be lucky if they last the month, embracing your own relationship status really is important- especially in February.

I am sure at one time or another we have all be shamed for being single, or have been told that the partner we have in our lives just isn’t the one for us. Yet, in the long run, all that matters is that you are happy- the options of sheep shouldn’t rule you life. Embrace what you have even if others don’t agree.

Stop- even if its just for an evening.

As a generation, us millennial love to be busy. We love to complain about the overtime we’ve accrued or the latest amount of responsibility that we have had shoved on our desk. A friend once said, ‘I’m just too busy to take care of myself’, a sad honest truth we are all guilty of saying. Well, isn’t it time we all just stopped and cared for ourselves for just one night. Whether its deleting twitter for a night, or inviting the girls round to dance to all of Atomic Kittens Greatest hits. Taking one night away from the busy life we have, isn’t going to effect anything. Stepping away from distractions is the best way to care for yourself, and isn’t that the best way to be your own valentine?

Treat yourself.

If you are anything like me, then spending time and money on yourself seems to fall by the wayside. Work, bills, social interactions all take president to the pamper we all deserve, The term pamper is personal, for some its having a bubble bath, for others its the full shebang, face masks and all. For me, its a fresh set of gels, a new piercing and an hair cut.

Finding your own way of treating yourself, isn’t selfish. There will always be something you should be doing, or even a task that you could have finished to a higher standard. These trivial aspects of our lives ultimately stop many of us stop treating ourselves, and for what? Absolutely beggar all.

Whether you have a valentine or not this year, treat yourself how you would love them to treat you. Bubble bath, foot rub, a good bottle of wine- sounds amazing to me. Having one night away from the responsibilities which play on your mind not only allows you to rest, but allows for you to focus on the task when you pick it up again.

Remember Valentine’s Day is merely 24 hours, you have the rest of your life to find who you are, embrace it.

Happy V-Day.

Em x

Being ‘Mediocre’ Me.

Over the past few years I’ve realised I am ridiculously mediocre. I’m no Victoria secret model, I’m no brain surgeon and to be honest, I’m just not that interesting.

Whilst friends have gone traveling, dropped a lot of weight, had families – or just generally been amazing. I’ve skated by never really stepping out of my comfort zone.

Achieving the unobtainable?

Mediocre – of only average quality; not very good.

Google, 2018

Being mediocre is arguably, a personal judgement. For me I will always say I could work harder to create opportunities to start the career I dream off- rather than eat chocolate, drink wine and binge on a new Netflix series.

I will always feel as if I’m mediocre, because my goals were so unachievable. Goals should be something to work towards rather than to create boundaries. Positivity, or what ever you want to call it, should run through you whenever you tip toe towards any goal. For me, personally, it just wasn’t the case. Goals became a way I restricted my happiness- so I completely scrapped them. And right now, I have no idea what I want.

Yes, I still want to own my own home(one of my major life goals), but what would be the point in finding more freedom if I was just restricting myself from amazing opportunities, which could come my way?

Its not about effort.

As much as I say I have skated by, I can say that I’ve worked bloody hard to achieve the little I have. For years I never thought much about myself- or at least nothing positive. So when it comes to completing a task, and doing it to the best of my ability, I was left completely deflated. No matter the amount of hours I’ve put in, the effort, the tears- I’ve never felt like it was enough. For me, my own expectations were my biggest enemy. I am my own worst enemy.

Take my blog for example, I adore it. In fact I have about 12 blog posts almost ready to go. Yet, the thing that holds be back isn’t the effort behind the writing but the belief that there even worth reading.

Right now?

I have no idea where the hell my life is going. And I’m not mad about it.

Over the past 10 years I’ve always had a plan. Set goals and deadlines that were realistically never going to happen. As long as my life is moving forward, I’m happy and healthy- I could not give a sh*t.

Of course, my life hasn’t be a bed of roses, and I am simply not naive enough to think it will be. I do know one thing. Whatever the future holds, there will be a lot of wine, a lot of laughs and most certainly a few more blog posts.

Always love.

Em x

Blogtober Day 11: Time to say Goodbye to the Comfort Zone.

Untitled Design

Hey loves,

Recently I’ve been thinking about comfort zones. We all have them, they’re unique to us- or to a specific time in our lives. Some comfort zones at can be found end at the end of our bed, others can be found with someone you love. Comfort zones are just that; comforting. So why are we afraid to embrace them?

Embracing change?

Change is a scary thing- let’s not beat around the bush. Yet, when it comes to a small or even insignificant change in our comfort zone it can feel like the world is against us. When something other than ourselves challenges our little space, you can either chose to embrace it or hate it.

Not having the ability to edit your life like an Instagram image, is frustrating to say the very least. It’s not possible, you can’t delete times in your life out, you can’t change the past or even recreate the present. Whatever situation you have or have had, in the past which made you create your own soothing bubble of goodness cannot and will not ever go away. Yet knowing that will give you the ability to break out of it, to edit your life like Instagram or just to gain the ability of know if it all goes a bit wrong you’ll be fine.

2017?

2017 is the year I broke out of my comfort zone and yes, it has been the year from hell so my timing couldn’t have come a worse time. In May I decided that my life needed a big kick up the arse. Things wouldn’t change unless I did. So I gave myself a few challenges.

The big change.

Find a new job?

A few little changes.

 

Try and go to a blogging event.

Be more social.

If you don’t succeed ask yourself, have you really lost anything for trying.

These three steps have really helped and sure I haven’t completed a lot of my challenges but I have kind of paved a new path for myself and every now and again I kind of feel like I’m getting somewhere. Only for about 5 minutes and then if feel about as useful as a chocolate fire guard. Still, the thought’s there.

Comfort zones will always be there when you need them, the glorious soothing bubble that just makes everything okay. Just make sure you push yourself- even if it’s only a little bit, because as the very cliché saying goes ‘life starts at the end of your comfort zone’

*Image created by Canva*

Blogtober Day 10: Direction- Or Lack of it.

IMG_3402[1]Bumbling through life at the speed of a slug having a nap, sounds a good analogy for my life night now. I have so many ideas which seem to flutter in and out of my head. One moment I think sod it, I want to travel the next well who knows. I certainly don’t.

The truth is what I want to do with my life isn’t really possible at this moment in time. And it’s something I don’t think I have admitted to anyone, including myself. And, sorry loves but you’re just going to have to wait to find out what that is.

My life lacks direction. I am so bloody proud of women I speak to daily who know what they want to do and seek it out. Who found their passion outside of blogging and are killing it daily. It’s those women that give me hope that one day I will have a careerthat I have always dreamed of. A career that could really change the life of others. But right now, I’m a receptionist.

Reaching out.

In fact not just in my search for a career but for life in general. I mean it’s not like you can buy it from Argos?

What if that passion never reaches you? What if I’m not meant to have direction in my life? Or the even scarier prospect- What if I’m going to be a receptionist my entire working life? Fuck.

Breaking the mold.

Do you need direction? Do you need to be successful?

Of course not, there will always be someone to look down on you- in my case it’s usually myself. Success is as personal as sex. You and only you, will see yourself as successful. Yet, I never do or will. And neither will you. The image you created as ‘direction’ will taint any success you have. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I don’t have direction because honestly, I wasn’t cut out for the direction I thought was right for me. What was right for my friends and I ? We were going to grow up as bosom buddies with the same job and boss life- right? No love, your wrong.

Life doesn’t work how we expect it too.

It wasn’t until writing this post I realized my direction isn’t paved on a stunning gold path, its paved with copious bottles of wine and a few pizza boxes. BECAUSE THAT is my direction, the morals I hold from the mistakes I have made is my direction, they will propel me through life.

And the fact I got sacked from my first graduate job, will be a memory of the past. So when I find the ‘direction’ we all seem to be fighting over, I will be sure to tell you all. Until then, I hope you will stick around for sort of daily blogging thing I have going off here.

Much love,

The lost blogger. Xxx