Scared of being me?

Hello you! This post is something that I hoped to right months ago, but I couldn’t. I’ve been struggling for a very long time. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted to be. I put on weight, I was unhappy to my core and work made me cry daily. In today’s post I wanted to write a little reminder to both myself and others, that sometimes t takes one change to create a huge positive impact on your life. So, here goes…I’ve not felt myself in a very long time. In fact, if I’m being honest I couldn’t tell you the last time I laughed until my stomached or the last time I championed myself to do something I was scared to. Because I was just that, scared.

Scared of failing?

Scared to let the ones I love down. Scared to not be the person I wanted to be. Yet, to frightened to make the changes needed to become the person I hoped I was. Often I describe my past self as a shell of a person and I don’t think I ever really upgraded to anything more.

The change.

June, a month that kicked my arse into gear. Honestly, because of those changes I finally feel, a little more like me. Sure, I’ve not belly laughed or done anything drastic to improve anyone one else’s life. However, I’ve let myself be happy. Of course I’m still shit scared of failing, but after weeks in a new situation I’m much more confident. I may not be strutting around like Naomi Campbell, but I’m not flailing around like a turtle stuck on its back either. Finally piece by piece, step by step, prossecco by prossecco, I finally feel like I’m getting my shit together.

What feeling like ‘me’ is ?

Honesty, I have no clue. Other than the fact I don’t second guess myself anymore. Nor do I tell myself off after screwing up for the millionth time. I now champion the things I’ve done right and reward myself for them. Right now, I’m planning ahead. Booking in cocktails with the girls and just give myself a break. No one in this world is harsher in you than you are. Once you stop and give yourself a break the world seems a lot less grey.

Hello, confidence? Are you there?

By nature I’m not the most confident of folks. Without a bottle of prosecco in me I probably wouldn’t tell my fave bloggers, I love them. Or big up my bestie for all the emotional support she’s gave me when I didn’t know my arse from my elbow. I can say I am getting better. I know myself and I don’t plan on stopping, no matter what life throws my way. So Meg Says you could be on for many more ‘you’re bloody amazing’ messages, sorry not sorry!

Exceptions to my rules.

I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks, recently I’ve been able to control them. For some this isn’t the case, if you are feeling like the world is getting to much and you don’t have enough room to breathe, then organisations like mind can help. If you need any other help please get in touch and I will try to help as best as I can.

What next?

I don’t know. And I’m petrified to find out. All I’m hoping for is I finally find my laugh and there’s lashing of gin and prosecco along the way.

New job,New blog & Body Image.

Aye up, you fit bunch.June, where have you gone!It’s safe to say this little bloggers been on a bit of a mission recently. A mission to maybe get her sh*t together and do some of the things I say I will but never get around too. This month has seen me go self hosted, get a new job and kind of find an okay relationship with my body.By nature I hate summer, I’m much more of a winter baby. Yet summer 2018, is the season I finish my wine and get sh*t done. I and so so happy with the changes I’ve been making recently and I thought I would update you on a few of them.PST. Maybe get a brew, there’s a lot to catch up on.

New job.

Yesssss, ya girls got a new job! Now I don’t like talking about work on my blog. What I will say is that this job has given me an opportunity to get out of a position I hated. My last role left me quite lonely and my mental health started declining. So my new job was so welcome and I’m already feeling better about myself.

New blog? Kinda.

For the last year I’ve been debating going self hosted. Theres been a few reasons as to why I haven’t but the main one I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I’m not as eloquent as bloggers out there. I’m never going to look like Lydia Millen or be able to create a funny af yet oh so relatable post like Vix.

The thing I forgot about is, I’m me. And as a blogger you are your USP. The slightly plump, 5’4 Yorkshire lass with a killer eye roll and day dreams for days, makes this blog what it is. Life’s to short for the ifs and buts, so I took the plunge.

Body image

Now I’ve been pretty open about not being completely comfortable in my own skin. To be truthful I am no where near as comfortable as I would like to be. Although, I have definitely been taking giant leaps in the right direction.

As a rule I wouldn’t show of my tummy, all tops needed to be longer than my bum, arms needed to be covered. Which was fine until some one had the grand idea to create a Very British heat wave which left me over heating, sweating and just massively rank.So I decided I couldn’t be arsed. Everyone has a tummy, most people have issues with their bodies, so why was I stopping myself feeling cool ?And with that I have found my love for summer dressing.So this little update may be a slightly boring and massively rambling (clues in the name folks). I just wanted to update you guys on my life and the reason I’ve been a bit quiet on the blog front. Hope you’ve enjoyed this little blog about the changes I’ve been making recently.See ya Sunday.Always love,Em x

Goals for July.

June. What can I say about you, other than you have been a bloody whirl wind. From finding a new fragrance, to getting a new job and losing all my confidence along the way, it’s safe to say this month has made me learn a thing or two.

As I sit and write this on one of the hottest days of the year, with a glass of Savion and an empty wrapper of aero at my side- I can proudly say I have never been happier. Over the last month I have questioned every inch of my life. Checking, double checking and even sending out a few ‘am I really doing this’ text to the girls.

Everything I questioned. Idid. What ever plays out over the coming months I can say, with a 100% certainty, that I am much stronger than i believe i am.

(Life update coming soon, babes)

Now let’s get to July

July is (or at least I hope) slightly quiet compared to June. No birthdays, lunches out or new jobs – well, I hope not. Yes, this may have something to do with the fact I absolutely broke until the end of the month, or that I barely have a social life, but to be honest I’m excited for a break.

No1. Take some time for me.

Now, I’m not talking about taking one Sunday afternoon to read my book. I really want to take some time to figure out what I want and where I’m going. The past month has left me a pretty exhausted to be honest.

Recently, I’ve been using meditation a few times a week to really home in on what I want in life and I’m so excited figure out ways to get my big life goals in motion.. although, my friends that’s for another time.

Yoga, reading, facial? I’m not sure what’s going to happen but I’m really looking to finding something.

No 2. Drink less.

Don’t get me wrong I do like a tipple every now and again, but with the great British heat wave, I’ve been even more partial to a glass of white! So a major goal for me is to cut down on my drinking. ,

Maybe just one night a week? Send rain, maybe?

No 3. Find out what a bloody ISA is.

Next on my adult to do list is …….. *drum rollll* savings. How adult of me. Any way, I’ve been debating putting some money away for a rainy day for a few months but recently I’ve had a lot of bills being paid off and wine to buy.

ISA’s are a bit of a challenge for me. I’m just not sure what they are or even if it would work for me. So finding out the ins and out is pretty much a must for me.

No 4. Get back in my diet.

Yeah, I’m another girl on a diet. I haven’t lost a lot of weight over the last few months but I lost a little bit and it really made me feel much more confident within my body. So starting my healthier life style again is kind of needed.

Right now my confidence is creeping back up and introducing a healthier life style again can only help.

There you go my loves, my July goals. June’s been amazing- I can’t wait to tell you how July goes!

Always love,

Em x

Goals For June.

Hey babes!

As you all know I use this blog as a little bit of diary, focusing on all areas of my life. Recently it dawned on me that sometimes this little blog can be a more doom and gloom than fruity and motivating. So, from now on in the midst of it all I want to share with you my goals for the month. 3 small things which not only lets you see a much more positive side of me but allows me to focus some energy on something a little more than finding the right pyjamas after a bit of a poor day.

No 1. Cook More.

If can’t cook won’t cook was a term for any one, it’s me. I tend to cock up even the easiest of readymade meals. Cooking doesn’t come naturally to me so this goal, fills me with dread. I’d love to cook a quick meal up for my family or friends and them not to politely tell me it takes of dish water.

So, this month I aim to at least try to cook more, maybe just start with the easy stuff. You can’t burn salad can you?

No 2. Find my Fragrance.

Up until now I’ve been using The Body Shop’s Vanilla chai as my day to day. As much as I still adore this body spray, I kind of want something that feels a little more, well, grown up. With spring and summer finally popping out and reminding us that winter doesn’t last forever, its my goal to find a SS18 Fragrance I love.

Best get looking!

No 3. Save.

Okay, a little boring but as I am sure my bank will agree a much needed goal. June is a pretty basic month for me and I really want to get my head down and Save. Winter is such a busy time for me so I love that summer is way more chilled.

Without the millions of birthday, Christmas celebrations and gift giving, it is much easier for me to save in the summer. I promise this is the only boring month out of the four!

No 4. Do something out of my comfort zone.

Now, I ain’t gonna be jumping out of any plans, fighting lions or touching frogs (ewww), but I would love to do something I would have never thought to before. Even something as simple as catching up with a blogger I’ve never met before. A cocktail master class, perhaps? I don’t know, but I’m sure as hell ready to find out what.

Just as theres no frogs involved. Deal?

And there you have it my four goals for June! How the flipping heck did it get to JUNE! Heres to a happy and productive month!

Always Love,

Em x

A Few Things I am Loving This Month!

Hey loves.

As you know I really want to strip back my blog content. And what’s a better way to do that than a good old favorites post. I do have to admit that some of these favorites aren’t really ‘new’, I’ve loved them for a while and haven’t had the chance to chat about them.

This month’s picks are stuff that I use/watch daily. I really do love them all!

Lanolips

Not going to lie, I love a nude lipstick. One of my current favorites is Make Up Rev’s Chauffer, but with a love of lippy my lips can often become really dry and dehydrated. After watching a Lydia Millen vlog i decided enough was enough and went on a mission to find Lanolips- I say mission, I just went to Boots.

Opting for the Rhubarb tinted lip balm, due to a, the smell and b, it has a slight tint that gives my naturally pale lips a boost they need. I am not going to lie this doesn’t come with a cheap price range- for a lip balm at least. At £8.99 it is on the pricey side compared to some, but it works like a dream!

I’ve had this for about a month and use it quite often, especially on those no makeup days. The product last for a surprisingly long time, but when I come to think of it does anyone use a lip balm to the end? Anyway, I digress.

Essentially, the price point may be on the high side of things but the quality of the longevity and of quality are worth it. I don’t think I could go back to another cheap lip balm.

Zara Broiderie Top

In a nutshell, this is me in a top. Cute, ever so girly and just a bit neutral. I love it. This Zara buy (my first tbh) has fast become one of my favorite items I own! Broiderie is having a huge reinvention this year and I am living for it!

Being a bargain at £25.99, the cost per ware alone is minimal. The oversized top disguises any food babies or areas of concern but also makes you feel beautiful – not frumpy. If I were to advise anyone to buy anything it’s this bloody top. It’s simply beautiful!

Primark, Grey mules

Has to be said that these mules are looking a little worse for wear nowadays, but that’s because I have barely had them off my feet. The dove grey babies are so comfortable and look amazing with jeans, I do wish they went a little more with my work wardrobe, but we can’t have everything our way can we?

At a bargain price of £10 I am hoping and praying that Primark have introduced a blush and a black pair, because this girl needs ‘em!

Jasper Conran Bag

Okay, this bag was the best money I have spent. I tend to use this bag for work because Its huge and I can literally throw most things in there and go! The bag itself is so light but study. After months of pretty much every day wear this bucket bag has still kept it structure beautifully.

If I am 100% honest with you, this is the purchase that opened the flood gates and let me finally give into my love of clothing and finding my own style. I tend to find it funny that this handy £50 buy is still something I reach for daily, it makes me smile and generally compliments most outfits. And honestly, I am all about that.

Atypical.

I’ve been meaning to watch this Netflix series for a while now and after a rave review from a friend I knew it was a must. After finishing off a pretty heavy TV series (The Alienist), Atypical was just the heartwarming series I needed in my life.

It follows a young lad, on the autistic spectrum trying to figure out his way around young love, sex and anything else thrown his way. The story is brilliant and it really shows a great insight into the lives of those living with Autism.

Definitely a must watch.

& Iced Americanos.

When the suns out I switch my normal warm cup of coffee to an iced one and this year, I am living for an Iced Americano! I tend to have this bad boy black but if I fancy it I do tend to add a little bit of soy milk. Haven’t quite mastered it at home, so this is my perfect summer pick me up when I’m out and about.

And Va La, that is months ‘ Few thing I’ve loved this Months’ post. Hope you enjoyed! If there’s any content you’d like me to write let me know in the comments below!

Always love,

Em x

Being Miserable, Finding focus & Finally Putting Things In Motion

 

Hello peeps,

So if you’ve read the past few blog posts and thought, ‘jesh, this is a bit generic for you’, you’d be right. Don’t get me wrong enjoyed writing my past(and a few more posts to come) couple of post but to an extent they didn’t feel like I had written them.

Being miserable.

Okay folks, I’ve been miserable for the past few months. I couldn’t get out of my head space and for those around me I’ve been bloody hard work. Shit friend and all that.

Now, I am by no means going to go into why or how I was so miserable, but what I will say is that I hate that version of myself. I’m blunt, grouchy and just seem to suck the life out of the room. After something horrid happened in my life, I decided only I could change the place I was in. So I wrote myself 3 goals for the next two years, in hopes it would kick me up the arse and honestly, so far its worked.

Finding Focus.

Those three things (which I promise to tell you as soon as I feel like the wheels are rolling) really are things that would benefit not only my life but my mental health, too. Over the past month, I’ve had a few panic attacks and honestly I am petrified of being in the same state I was a year ago.

Finding positive experiences such as meditation, walks and even a very small amount of Yoga, has allowed me to relax and channel some of the energy I have wasted worrying on the insignificant things in my life into something much more meaningful. Now I am by no means going to preach the benefits of meditation and Yoga but simply to say they’ve turned this stress head into slightly less of one. Bonus.

Apparently Saggitarius’s are known for losing focus half way through a task and honestly, that couldn’t be more apt of my personality. Drifting from job to job and never really finishing them, is a specialty of mine. Currently I am so focused for at least completing one of these life affirming(okay that might be a bit much) tasks, that I’m making the most of it.

Well, for as long as it lasts anyway.

Getting the wheels in motion…

Maybe a little adventurous, maybe this bit should be called finding my keys in the bottom of my bag?

But I have at least started the process of two of the three things I want to change in my life. Even though I am nowhere near close to completing either of them the fact I’ve started has made me feel a little less glum. These baby steps may be small but they are most definitely in the right direction and as of right now I am so excited to see how far I can go with them.

 

Promise to keep you update.

Em x

New In… Beauty.

Now I wouldn’t call myself beauty babe by any stretch of the imagination. My full face of makeup slides off and becomes all sorts of red by 10am. I may be a total novice when it comes to application but I really enjoy a good beauty find. I LOVE opening a new package of something beauty and having a good ol’ play.

In this little list there is definitely a varying list but I am so excited to try them all! When it comes to hair care, skin care and most definitely make up, I may not be the best but I will definitely fall in love with them even if they are all types of wring.

Nyx lip line in Peel.

I love this peachy nude lip liner!

Recently Beth Sandland has been quoted in saying your best ‘nude’ lip is the color of your nips. This may be a little TMI but Peel is almost on point when it comes to this- well they do say sharing’s caring. Maybe a little more on the orange side of things but I have to say I kind of agree with Beth, its definitely much more flattering than the tones I would usually go for!

Now, let’s stop talking about my nips, aye?

The pencil itself is quite hard-which I actually prefer. However, one of the issues I have with not only this lip liner, but many others on the highstreets, is that you spend more time sharpening the pencils than using them. There’s so much waste! Saying that I use this lip liner pretty much every, with the price of £3.50 I can’t help but say that I am pretty impressed with it, waste and all.

Nyx Dewy finish Setting Spray.

Okay, now I am not one for setting sprays. And from the little knowledge I have of them this one isn’t the mothership. Saying that this is highly affordable and its okay for everyday use. I wouldn’t necessarily suggest others to buy this but I’ll probably use this until the end.

On first application it leaves your skin beautiful and definitely shoes a ‘glow from within’ rather than ‘sweaty beast’. As the day goes on and the product wear it almost removes your make up. I’m often left with patches of bare skin by the end of the day.

For a few hours this product is amazing for a full day in a warm office it’s a bit of a no, no.

L’Oréal Botanicals Shampoo and Conditioner.

Not going to lie, this was a complete bloggers find. Lydia Millen has recently credited her locks with this range so when I saw they were on offer in boots I knew I had to at least try them. Opting for the gernrianm oil shampoo and conditioner due to its repairing qualities, and being specifically designed for colored hair.

I do have to give a special mention that this smells bloody beautiful! Picture yourself in a field of flowers and you’ve pretty much got it.

I have only used this product for about a week so I can’t really give too much of a review, but so far I like it. My hair definitely feels less ‘clogged up’ – if that’s a thing. On a daily basis I tend to use a lot of products, dry shampoo, hair spray etc, so often my hair feels a little crunchy to touch. This shampoo and conditioner combo does really seem to make my hair feel clean.

Colab Dry Shampoo.

I am currently a woman on a mission. I want to find a dry shampoo which doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg but works with my oily scalp- Looking at you Bumble and Bumble. Obviously I have used batiste before and its pretty good I just feel a little off about it.

So when I saw colab on offer in my local boots i decided to give it a go. Like the new L’Oreal and conditioner I kind of think it’s a little too soon to try but so far its okay. It’s slightly finer than Batiste and the smell is pretty pleasant- and I adore this packaging.

Right now, I am not so sure this is what I’m looking for but so far its okay.

Nyx Highlighter in Snow Rose.

Okay, I’m guessing you’ve all realized I dropped a pretty penny in Nyx, but this has to be my best buy yet. I never understood peoples love of highlight, always seemed to think that they made me look like the tin man instead of adding a natural hew. Until I picked up this one.

This iridescent bad boy kind of looks a little scary. Color highlights always do but this pink sheen is honestly a god send. Adding a swish of this on your cheek bones just gives your cheeks a pop, and the formula is so light you don’t even notice it on your skin.

I do use this every day, normally blending it into my blush so I don’t look like a shiny smartie. Personally, I find this highlight just finishes off the look. I can’t describe why I love this product too much, because I don’t know.