Category: Uncategorized

The Life Switch up.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., sex and relationships, Uncategorized March 10, 2019

Hello you beautiful people.

I know, I know its been a while- and for that i am not in the least bit sorry. Life over the past few weeks has been quiet, with quiet came a few realisations. I realised that (and I don’t mean to boast- well maybe a little) but i finally feel like i have my shit together. Trust me, i am just as shocked as any one.

NOW, by no means do i have the answers to all the millennial issues. I am still shit with money, fat and my sex life is dryer than the Sahara desert- i’m just good with it. We are all to often caught saying

‘ you should only look back to see how far we’ve come’

But if you are anything like me, then you will only look to the positives of the past. Nights out, relationships, graduations are all things i compare my current life too. But what about the crippling anxiety, mounds of debt and self esteem lower to than my bank account. If i am to be perfectly honest, i really am bloody happy to be where i am today.

*cough* Cheesey as fuck*cough*

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Dieting.

Now lets start with the shit stuff. Dieting. My last blog spoke about my ‘ditching the term plus size’. Hatred for the term probably comes from the negative relationship with my body. Now, i look at dieting as a way to learn how to cook, how to prepare myself for the week ahead and even to a certain extent, how too budget. Dieting has been such an awful experience in the past. From rationing my food to living off 800 calories a day, i never wanted to be the size i am. Yet, here i am the wrong size of 25 with my huge bum and 28 E boobs (and yes, crippling back ache).

Right now i am technically dieting, Slimming world has been a way i can learn how to cook for my new veggie lifestyle. With friends and family not being the most supportive Slimming world has been a great network for recipes.

Dating.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Want some juicy goss? Then go somewhere else.

As with the rest of my life, my romantic life is non-existent- and like my body, i am good with it. Friends of mine are getting married, having babies and me? Well right now, I’m sat in the same room i grew up in drinking a corona, watching an Criminal Minds.

After a few shit relationships I finally understand the importance of being alone.I have replied heavily on my exes, i needed some one to tell me i was okay- as stupid as it sounds i was to scared to live my life independently.

Romantic relationships just isn’t something i am looking for right now, but if Prince Charming wants to fall into my life with a classic Nintendo and a few bottle of beer, then I wouldn’t run away.

Striving for independence.

Independence means a lot to different people. To some it means paying your own bills, to others it means traveling alone, for me? It simply means being comfortable enough to create something that i’ve been to scared too.

A few years back i was scared of everything. My mental health health nose dived, panic attacks took hold and i had no idea what i was doing one day to the next. So for me, its time to finally be able to stand on my own two feet and leave my anxieties in the past.

And goals? You better believe I’ve got them now and right now, i am smashing them (i mean to really, I’m not the Hulk).

BUY MY FIRST HOME.
BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM.
TRAVEL ALONE (even if it is only to centre parks)

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

Organising my shit

Guys i am pretty okay with admitting that i am not Marie Kondo but i have started appreciating organising my life. Making breakfast the night before, ironing my clothes ready for the week on Sunday night and cleaning my space much more often, has made me feel so much more in control of my own life.

Like with so many things in my life, of course there is most definitely more switch up’s up to come but organising my life has impacted my life so much. I am so excited, to see how the year (and my poor attempt at organisation) goes.

Photographer: Rebecca Walker.

2019 has flown by so quickly, its basically the middle of march and I have no recollection as to what happened to February. This little update and content switch up has been something i have wanted to do for a while. I have spent so much time wasting my life with poor relationships, low self esteem and just accepting that i was always going to unhappy – right now, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I finally feel like i am working towards the things i have always been too scared too.

And i promise to share them with you when i finish them.

Always,

Em x

Time to be your own Valentine?

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., sex and relationships, Uncategorized February 12, 2019

Valentines, Galentines, 50% chocolate specials whatever you associate with the season of love, its here. In amongst the new couples, chocolate binges and sobbing singles, Valentine’s Day can be something that takes its toll on so many. Whether you’re a loved up babe or a sassy single, Valentine’s Day should be a day we celebrate our longest relationship; the one we have with ourselves. In the words of Ru Paul, ‘ If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else’.

I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to celebrate yourself, the challenges you’ve face and the next steps of your life. Realising that you and you alone are solely responsible for all the things you have achieved and will continue to achieve. So grab a nice bottle of plonk, run a bath and leave the world at the door step. If a bubble bath isn’t for you, then its perfectly okay to rewrite the terms of your own valentines night.

Take time.

Okay, before i rant on about turning the world off i am. Fully aware that for many stepping away from the world on a week night probably isn’t an option. Parents, care givers and even people who have to work more than one job don’t get the option of having a night of. Yet their is one option you do have.

Taking your time- once the day is over with, is a luxury. Leaving deadlines at the doors, plodding along with your to do lists, without haste is rewarding. Having the ability to complete tasks without any rush allows you to relax and feel accomplished. Take your time isn’t always a bad thing, remember the tortoise and the hare?

Embrace who you are.

Everyone is different, therefore everyone’s way of relaxing is completely different. Listing to metal, watching the entirety of the Marvel universe and or even sitting in silence. Embracing your favourite things and running with them, is ultimately the most important thing in the season of love. If not, what’s the point? Go on, grab another chocolate and watch another episode of friends, make your soul happy.

Likewise embracing your love life is necessary to surging this sickening loved up month. Unlike, so many on social media, you don’t have to be in a relationship to have a great Valentine’s Day. Amongst the ‘Boys done good’, sea of pandora rings, and new relationships which will be lucky if they last the month, embracing your own relationship status really is important- especially in February.

I am sure at one time or another we have all be shamed for being single, or have been told that the partner we have in our lives just isn’t the one for us. Yet, in the long run, all that matters is that you are happy- the options of sheep shouldn’t rule you life. Embrace what you have even if others don’t agree.

Stop- even if its just for an evening.

As a generation, us millennial love to be busy. We love to complain about the overtime we’ve accrued or the latest amount of responsibility that we have had shoved on our desk. A friend once said, ‘I’m just too busy to take care of myself’, a sad honest truth we are all guilty of saying. Well, isn’t it time we all just stopped and cared for ourselves for just one night. Whether its deleting twitter for a night, or inviting the girls round to dance to all of Atomic Kittens Greatest hits. Taking one night away from the busy life we have, isn’t going to effect anything. Stepping away from distractions is the best way to care for yourself, and isn’t that the best way to be your own valentine?

Treat yourself.

If you are anything like me, then spending time and money on yourself seems to fall by the wayside. Work, bills, social interactions all take president to the pamper we all deserve, The term pamper is personal, for some its having a bubble bath, for others its the full shebang, face masks and all. For me, its a fresh set of gels, a new piercing and an hair cut.

Finding your own way of treating yourself, isn’t selfish. There will always be something you should be doing, or even a task that you could have finished to a higher standard. These trivial aspects of our lives ultimately stop many of us stop treating ourselves, and for what? Absolutely beggar all.

Whether you have a valentine or not this year, treat yourself how you would love them to treat you. Bubble bath, foot rub, a good bottle of wine- sounds amazing to me. Having one night away from the responsibilities which play on your mind not only allows you to rest, but allows for you to focus on the task when you pick it up again.

Remember Valentine’s Day is merely 24 hours, you have the rest of your life to find who you are, embrace it.

Happy V-Day.

Em x

Happy Birthday, Mum.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., Uncategorized December 21, 2018

On the date this blog post goes live it will be my mum’s birthday. I know many of you don’t know the relationship with my mum. So I thought I would introduce you to my amazing mum.

To celebrate the many years of awful presents, Mediocre gestures and the many forgotten cards, I thought I’d share with you just five things that my mum has taught me over the past 26 years. You see, my mum is pretty much one of my hero’s, as much as we argue, take the piss and annoy the crap out of each other. In a nutshell I know that no matter the situations life puts me in, I can cope because of the lessons she’s taught me.

So, mum, if you ever find your way onto this blog I simply wanted to say thank you for:

The definition of strenght.

I’ve made no secret on my blog that i have struggled with anxiety since me teens. What I may or may not have shared with you is my mum suffers with something similar. Throughout the years I have seen my mum battle with her mental health for years. Something that when I finally was diagnosed, I knew how to cope.

You see whilst my mum may sometimes feel like it,she has never given up. She gets up, goes to work, sees family and have a better social life than I ever have. Her mental health has its moments when things seem to go a little off yet, no matter the situation she has never given up on anything she has started. My mum is truly the strongest woman I know.

Mental health is difficult for anyone, sometimes our life has to stop to be able to start again down the line. Yet, for all intesive purposes my mum never has. If she was totally honest with her self, just for a moment she would find that no matter her struggle she has accomplished so much more than her self doubts would ever let her believe. Mental health issues or not, my mum will always be my hero.

It’s perfectly acceptable to say no.

One major difference between my mum and is how we show our affection for one and other. I, on one hand show love through hugs, and openly saying I love you. Yet, my mother is much more subtle in the way she shows her affection.

Offering her love through coffees and the occasional ‘are you okay?’. In her own way she reassures me through life’s problems, and whilst we often butt heads its our differences that makes the pair of us (I hope) realise that once I eventually own my own home, how much we will miss our caffeine filled arguments.

Any way my point with this is that, hugs, saying I love you and even the occasional pats on the back, sometimes make people feel uncomfortable- my mum for one. Each individual has there own comforts, for me that’s a hug at the end of the day, for my mum its running her a bath or making a brew she will ultimately not drink. In any case saying not to someone offering affection isn’t a weakness, its how someone else deals with their problems, when they and only they are ready they will come and let you know when you are needed.

It’s perfectly acceptable to laugh at your own jokes.

Whilst my mum and I may show our affection differently we both think we are hilarious. A sea of dirty jokes, jugedgments and sarcasm will ripen any sour day. This point may be little, and may be silly to some but this is my favourite characteristic of my mum. Her ability to laugh in any situation- even if it is some what inappropriate.

Mum, I love you to bits, keep making your dirty jokes, innuendos and I hope you continue to cackle through the next 365 days and more.

Don’t give up on people even if they give up on themselves.

Okay, now here’s this thing about my mum, whilst she may not be touchy feely, she has never given up on me, or for any one in her life for that matter. In the past I have made many mistakes, some I still regret to this day, but she has always taught me that the mistakes we make only shape the person we become. It doesn’t matter who you were 3 years ago it matters who you are right now.

So mum, here’s a little cheers to you, you have taught me so much more than this little list. We often argue, share chocolate and eye rolls, bu what I love about our realtionship the most is that no matter the time, place or even time of the month weve always got each other’s backs.

Simply put, the pair of us have been through a shit tone of stuff and there is plenty more to come. Whilst the world around us is constantly changing, my pure admiration for you will and has never differed.

I LOVE YOU MUM!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

P.S. Pornstar martinis to follow shortly.

Three 2018 realisations.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., sex and relationships, Uncategorized December 17, 2018

This year has been the year of,like, realising stuff- Kylie Jenner.

2018, has been a year I needed. An eye opening realisation, that the only thing holding my life back was me. And believe me it’s something I’ve rectified.

Over the years I’ve always thought I had to be some one else- that showing the real me would leave me lonely and insecure. Whilst at times I still feel those things in abundance, accepting who I am has only made me happier. With being happier my somewhat dull personality shines through, all the dorky, sarcastic and slightly flirty characteristics that once made my skin crawl sends me into hysterics. In short, 2018 is the year I finally accepted the person who I am and dropped my persona.

I’ve lost people along the way.

Towards the end of 2018, I backed away from a lot of friendships. Some I massively regret, others I’m not in the slightest bit bothered about. Losing the friends I have over the past 9 months has made me realise that friendships aren’t a two way street. Often one has feels the need to be there far more than the other. It’s unfair, but severely honest.I have always kept my friendship group small, I’m just not a ‘friends with everyone and their dogs, instantly’ kind of girl. And that’s perfectly okay.

In friendships I look for comfort. Comfort in the knowledge, that if I didn’t speak to a friend for months, if I needed them- they’d be there. Friends which bring sarcasm, prosecco and chic flicks after a break up( or just a Sunday). Being comfortable in any relationship is a big deal, and focusing on friendships which bring me nothing but comfort and sarcasm, are my best kinds of friendships.

Being selfish.

I’ve been pretty selfish over the past twelve months. And I am completely not ashamed to admit it. I’ve previously spoken about my anxiety and the struggles I have with confidence, being selfish was and still is needed.

I’ve slowly learnt to put myself first, to make my goals and happiness a priority. Waving goodbye to negative impacts, people and clothing(we’ve all got that sneaky dress hanging in our wardrobes that we will never fit back into). Over the past 9 months I feel better not only in my own skin but in the person who I am.

I may not be as confident as I would hope to be, but steps are being taken to unleash my inner Miranda priestly whilst of course embracing my Miranda heart qualities.

Accepting being alone.

For the longest time I’ve wanted to be with someone. I’d love to come home to a cuddle after an awful day at work, but unfortunately life had other plans for me. And as I write this post I Am so great fun it’s worked out that way.

Right now, I have some amazing changes coming, things that wouldn’t be a alive toe if I wear to be coupled up. As a rule I feel so empowered to continue to create a life that I want, that I deserve. I will never be the shell of a girl I once was and it wasn’t until I writing this post I realised, that no man ‘saved me’. I did, well, me, the girls and copious amount of gin.

In the next week I will be sharing some of the amazing news I’ve received recently. I can’t wait to share what is coming- 2019 is going to be the year of an empowered Em- and it’s about bloody time!

Always,

Em x

Finding my style: Finding myself.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., Uncategorized December 11, 2018

2018 has been a year and a half, hasn’t it? From awful political figures to the weirdest British summer of the century, 2018 seems to have everything.

For me personally, I found that my style massively reflects my mood. If I love a certain element of my outfit then I feel like I can tackle the day. As much as I am aware that this is quite superficial, it’s something I want to explore. From bright red sock boots to getting rid of the very orange toned blonde, 2018 has been the year I’ve found my style and with it self love I’ve never known before.

Letting go of the rules…

‘I can’t wear that, I’m too fat’.

Trust me, I’ve gotten tired of saying those words- usually standing next to something I adore. Over the past few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what my style would be like if I stopped playing by he rules. In truth, I think I’d be so much happier.

The start.

I recently followed in the tracks of Lydia Elise Mullen and started to build my stack. My helix and second wholes are one of my favourite things I have ever purchased. Everytime I see that simmering gold training stud in the mirror I’m reminded that I’m slowly edging toward the person I want to be (vomits profusely). A more confident, happier person who is taking steps to build a wardrobe she adores.

This skirt is something I wouldn’t have felt comfortable wearing a few months ago. This pink baby is £13 from Primark and perfect for the Christmas season. Also please mind the radiator.

New additions.

I recently bought a camo jacket from Primark, and honestly it could be one of the best purchases I have ever bought. Every time I throw it over a very basic outfit I feel so much more myself. As a woman who loves all things neutral having pieces like my camo jacket Really allow me to express my personality through clothing. When i wear prices such as this I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, because I am being myself.

My love of neutrals is never going to die, intact, my heart will always be drawn to a black, white or beige polo. However my confidence does grown when I find something I adore that allows me to stand it from the crowd – even if it’s just a little.

Why Now?

Maybe the change in attitude is because of my recent birthday, or maybe, it’s down to being bored with feeling completely worthless. Looking for something to bring me out of my shell and grab life by the balls was never going to be easy for some one with the outlook on life that I do. So if I can find the confidence from a bold lip, a camo jacket or even my very much well loved red bag, then you can bet that I’m going to be rocking them to e high heavens.

From now on?

*sings in the voice of Hugh Jackman*

Letting go of the ‘classic’ rules has allowed me to share my own. The ‘rules’ are things I will be telling myself when I’m about to buy something I wouldn’t usually.

When in doubt, it’s one for a red lip– this winter intend on finding my red lip. Especially for those moments when you feel like you need an extra boost. Red lips are apparently * a rest confidence boost and every now and then don’t we all need one.

Say yes. Now this is an easy one:

If I love it.
Can afford it.
And think I’ll wear it more than 5 times in a month.

I’m buying it

Treat myself. Currently as I write this there is an absolutely stunning pair of celestial inspired earrings from Thomas Sabo. I’ve had I’m beady eyes on them ever since I saw Victoria from In the Frow, wear them in August. They’ve very beautiful (but quite expensive) earrings are something I just can’t stop thinking about them. Maybe they could be my birthday present to me?

What ever happens, I’m so excited to develop my style in a way that expresses my personality. I’ve always been a girl to blend into the background, only coming into the forefront when my sarcastic comments and eye rolls make some one giggle. I can’t wait to develop my style in a way that makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin. Here’s to the next few months and purchases… I’m sure you’ll find out about them in a blog post or two.

Always,

Em x

26.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., Uncategorized December 9, 2018

As you sit and read this it will be my 26th birthday. I wanted to share with you the things I will and wont be taking into my 26th year.

In the words of Kylie Jenner, my 25th year on the planet has been the year of ‘like realising stuff’. Without sounding naive, this year needed to happen. 365 days ago I was a shy, anxious, shell of a person. And now? Well, now. I finally feel like my life has meaning- and honestly, it’s all I’ve ever hoped for.

Throughout this post I am going to share with you some images that remind me of the best moments of the year– the good the bad and the questionable.

You can never have enough knickers.

I cannot be the only person on this planet to constantly seem to be running out of underwear. Each month I add to my collection ( if you can call over priced pieces of cloth that hide your modesty a collection) yet I still end up rummaging through the ironing pile trying to find a pair on a cold Monday morning. Standard, amirite?

You are constantly reinventing yourself.

A massive lesson I have learned this year is personal growth is reinvention. You are not the person you were yesterday and you certainly aren’t the person you will be tomorrow. Reinventing yourself as the person you are is never quite finished- to be honest I don’t ever think it accomplishable.

Often we are told we should be a certain way, even when every inch of our being is telling us we are something different. Well, for me my reinvention was spurred on by gaining the ability to stop listening the negative people I had in my life. Whether it came from a place of love or hate, the comments were unnecessary and made an already anxious girl scared to create the life she wanted.

Through out my 26 years I have screwed up a lot. I trusted the wrong people, I let the wrong men into my life and honestly, I let my insecurities get the best of me. For the longest time I was paranoid. Until I asked for help and gave my life a kick up the arse.

You are enough.

I’ve never felt like I was enough. A strange but honest statement. If I am to be totally honest its been my point of view since I was a child. Until a fateful doctors appointment that changed my view and now, for the first time in 2191.45 days (according to Siri) I know I am enough and I am exactly where I need to be in my life.

From some one who used to shy away from new adventures, who couldn’t cope with life going wrong, and some one who genuinely felt shite about herself. I know I am perfectly okay with both me and the way my life is going right now.

And it is perfectly acceptable to love films as much as you love shoes.

It may come as no surprise to you (especially if you follow @whatemwears1 on Instagram) that I am head over heels with shoes- pun intended. In the words of Tina Fey’s character from In Her Shoes-

‘Shoes always fit’.

The only thing that’s stayed with me as long as my love of shoes is my struggle with my weight. When my clothing gets tight and I start to feel low within myself, I grab my favourite pair of boots, jeans and a cosy jumper and feel a little more myself.

Likewise with film and comic franchises. I have recently shared with you my love for Harry Potter, but in this case at least, we are speaking about my admiration for superhero’s. Marvel of course, is one of the biggest franchises in the world- you’d be hard up to find some one who doesn’t admire some superhero. Like Harry Potter, Marvel (its comics and films) are a way i can escape when my anxiety hits me like a train. Having an escape is a brilliant way to cope even when you feel like you cant. So, yes, I love me some superhero’s, wizards and house elves.

For anyone questioning why I’ve put these two things together, I love them equally and for me, a pair of shoes I totally adore is my cape *inserts Edna from the Incredables saying ‘ No Capes*. Shoes and accessories to many people are super powers, in the same way Make up boosts peoples confidence. A good pair of heels can boost not only height but the ability to take on what ever shit comes your way.

Shoes are superhero’s.

It doesn’t matter if its shallow, if it makes you feel better its worth it.

I’m a girl who likes her hair and nails done- and no one will ever make me feel ashamed of it. I’ve always felt my mind wander and my ability to cope with certain situations(and people) was completely at 0. And now? With the help of a fresh cut, a quick tan and even a new nail colour- I feel as if I can cope.

Even if only for a little while.

Now, I completely understand that this post is 1000% rambles, but a) the clue is literally in the blog name and b) its my birthday and i can ramble if i want too. In all seriousness, 25 is a year I will not be forgetting in a hurry. The situations I have been put in and the changes the year has brung have allowed me to continuously grow as a person and no matter how things change, develop or even stay the same. I know that 26 will continue to define who I am.

With the help of a lot of gin and prosecco, I know I’ll get through the next 12 months with a lot of laughs and a high alcohol percentage.

Always love.

Another millennial getting closer to 30.

A reintroduction to Em Rambles.

Lifestyle, Ramble all the way..., Uncategorized December 7, 2018

Hello you lovely bunch.

After a delve into the Rambles archive I realised that I haven’t really introduced myself or my venture into blogging. I haven’t always been Em Rambles but I have always held the same values. Initially (when Look was my bible) I was heavily focused on fashion. However right you’d be hard up to find any clothing items within my think pieces. 2018 has been a year in which my content has changed but I’ve always been the same slightly odd, emotional Em.

Education.

Let’s get the boring stuff out of the way.

I have always had a huge love of fashion, I love the confidence a garment gives a woman. Adding a beloved blazer, a killer pair of heels or even a cheeky bit of lingerie, really allows a women, to feel confident in her own skin. So once I got my GCSE’s out of the way I went straight to college to study fashion. And honestly, I was just awful. My heart was in the right place but I just didn’t have the passion for pattern cutting others in my class did. Adding to the fact I have no spacial awareness and could be classed as a hazard to society. Over time I realised it was best to back away from the scissors after completing my course.

After struggling my way through college I some how managed to get the grades I needed to go to uni. In 2014, graduated with a 2:1 from the University of Northampton. AGAIN, I found that I was probably not cut out for the demanding environment of Fashion Marketing. So after working as a temp for a few years I now work in admin, and honestly I’m pretty happy about it.

Blogging.

I will never take my time at university for granted purely because my course leader pushed me (and other in my course) to blog. Blogging has given me so much confidence and even allowed me to have something that I was able to throw myself into when my personal life was nose diving.

I now own my site and have written some blogs posts I am really proud off. Without sounding too cheesey I have no idea where my blog will take me- or even if it will take me any where at all, but it makes me feel more myself than anything else in my life. And I will forever be great full to Sally for introducing me to the blogosphere.

Nerding it out.

I LOVE all things slightly nerdy: marvel, sic-fi dramas and of course a slight bit of magic (watch this space). From comics to film franchises and to wands i love anything that is remotely classed as ‘nerdy’. I may not be academic but i can argue who was the best hobbit like a good one.

The future

In the next few months I have some amazing opportunities I can’t wait to share with you. My next major change to my blog is a move from lifestyle content to mental health. I believe that some time every one needs a helping hand, and if I the blogs I create can help anyone- then for me it’s worthwhile.

2018 has been a year that brought massive changes. As I sit and write this post I can’t wait to diversify my content and focus my blog.

Here’s to an amazing blogmas and an exciting 2019!