Over the past few weeks, we’ve been shown the ‘new normal; how people are starting to live their lives with the new lockdown restrictions. As the government eases their laws allowing us ‘normal’ people to start leaving the house for non-essential items, I can’t help thinking how much my relationship with myself has changed over the past 12 weeks of lockdown. From fearing every news report, to embracing change and doing my best to protect others; it’s safe to say I feel much more confident in how I deal with the new changes.
In the past, I wasn’t sure how my future was going to play out, I was scared of change. If I’m being completely honest what’s going on in the world completely scares me, so without knowing it I began to change who I was. I was a plain Jane, with little confidence who blogged because she wanted something to allow her to be herself, even if it was only a few paragraphs a week. Fast forward 13 weeks I’m actively looking at ways to better my life. Saving, education, blogging daily to share content that I loves creating; the world may have turned into a mess, but I have most definitely ‘Hinched’ my life.
Right now, I have no idea what the future holds, but what I do know is that the changes lockdown has allowed me to embrace has changed my outlook. Whilst I may not be a 100% all the time, I’m a lot closer than I was mere months ago. With more and more people returning to work, I thought I would share with you the things I’ve worked on over the past three months and how I aim to continue them after the current climate.
Mental Health and Anxiety.
In previous posts, I’ve spoken about my issues with mental health, particularly my panic attacks and anxiety. I still deal with my anxiety daily, simple tasks can take longer but in comparison to the nervous panic-stricken thing of a few years ago, its nothing I can’t handle. A few weeks into lockdown anxiety had reared its head (which it to be expected we are in the middle of a pandemic) when I realised one of my triggers was Instagram.
Watching people be continuously productive, changing their spaces and baking approximately 97 banana breads a week, made me panic. And whilst I don’t think that it was intended to cause anxiety, it sent my brain into over drive, so much so that I had to put my phone down and take a few days away to work on calming my brain. What I found was having a tidy space allowed me to feel much calmer and accomplished- It didn’t matter if I didn’t get out of my pyjamas if I tidied the bathroom, right?
Cleaning and organising doesn’t come naturally to me, I can turn any tidy room into a war zone in 0.03 seconds. Adding something as simple as organising my space has had such a massive impact on my life. And tidying my life hasn’t been the only change that has aided my mental health. Having time to sit and reflect on the areas of my life that triggered my self-doubt has probably been the most impactful thing I’ve found. Finding these triggers has allowed me to make a new idea of my future and that idea, is no bloody idea.
Body Positivity and Me.
With 1 in 5 adults have felt shame because of their body image in the last year. 34% felt low and 19% felt disgusted in their reflections (according toMentalHealth.org), body positivity has been something I have increasingly become passionate about. Over the past few weeks we’ve seen countless bloggers, Influencers and celebs share products which claim to aid weight loss and it doesn’t sit right with me.
Weight loss injections, weight loss tablets and skinny teas have been splattered all over my Instagram and as someone who would once have paid over the odds to look thinner, I’m mortified that these people have the platforms they do. Surely, their online space would be better used to educate people about the effects of skinny teas or even the effects certain diets have on people’s bodies.
Anyway, I digress, Body positivity is something that speaks to me personally. In my teens and early 20’s I used to go without eating, jumped on fad diets and even drank teas that smelt and tasted like rotting grass to look like my friends. I wanted to be thin, if a diet plan cutting out all carbs and dairy would do that then I would happily pay (from my £4 something an hour part time wage) to do so. Looking back, I wish I had the Instagram feed I have now, because then I would have seen that I didn’t have to be a size 10 to be beautiful. I didn’t need to be living of teas that tasted awful and embrace being chunky.
Cheating on Lifestyle with Fashion
If you’ve been a follower of my little blog for a while then you will know I wanted to share my life with you, hence the lifestyle portion of my blog, but right now, I just don’t feel the connection to it. There are so many amazing lifestyle blogs that my twice a month mumbling didn’t cut it and as time went on I was just going through the motions.
Recently I’ve introduced a few fashion posts and I’ve loved it. Being able to share my outfits as a chunky 20 something with a slight shopping addiction, has made me fall in love with blogging all over again. From now on more fashion posts will be uploaded much more often, I hope you look forward to a lot of neutrals, denim, and the occasional heel!
Lockdown has definitely been a wild ride, for some it has created a sense of chaos but, for others like me, it has allowed for clarity when their mind was going so fast, they lost who they were. Slowing down, organising, and even finding my own style has changed not only how I look but my mindset. 2020 has been (and I’m sure will continue to be) a difficult year, but with every hump we have to jump over we learn a lot about ourselves and where we want to be.
So here’s to more jumping, tears and shopping.