When you’re little, your parents put so much emphasis becoming best friends with everyone. And when we grow up little else changes, only the situation. In your twenties, your’e meant to be the life and soul of the party, spending every weekend living it up, spending you’re student loans on 2-4-1 jägers and ditching lessons because of killer hangover. Your thirties is a time to get your sh*t together, buy a house and settle down. But what if you want to spend your time doing something entirely different? What if living ‘your best twenty something’ life is your worst nightmare?
It took me a long time to realise that i didn’t have to live my life the way people told me i had too, or even how my friends were living their’s. Take my university friends for example, they all have great jobs, homes of their own, partners that make them happy, and little northern me is still trying to figure out if spending £8 on a bottle of wine is an acceptable alternative to a meal- and am i ashamed of that? No- absolutely not.
Finding your own way in life isn’t always pain sailing, its difficult and just like the drunk girl at any party you’re probably going to end up sat on the floor crying into your chicken nuggets. Being in your own league gives you the opportunity to find who you are, your wants and your needs, not the ones that seem to be plastered over instagram. Finding yourself is euphoric.
Finding who i am, on my own.
As cliche as it sounds, i am perfectly okay in my own company. I’m not a loner, i like being around people, having a laugh and going out, but for me there’s something to be said for curling up with a hot chocolate and spending some time alone. Whether its reading, listening to a podcast or even just people watching in a local cafe, spending time alone isn’t something i don’t enjoy, if anything its quite the opposite.
Its not about friendship, its about ownership.
I know in my heart of Hearts that this post could be thought to be depressive, but to be 100% truthful with you- it really isn’t. I whole heartedly believe that in life there are times when the only person who can get you out of your own mess’s is you. Owning who you are is something we all should do. We shouldn’t change who we are because others feel like its wrong or insignificant. Spending time on your own is a great way to find ownership of what you want out of life- even if it is just to find company?
Urgh, i used to be this person. I used to compare myself to my friends, wonder why them and not me- IT WAS EXHAUSTING. For me it took years to realise that i am perfectly okay with not getting married, not owning my own home and even not having the job 18 year old me thought i needed. I’m good as i am, the only thing that stopped me feeling like i was was comparing myself to the people i thought had everything- even though i literally saw about 7% of their time.
Comparing yourself to others, even celebrities, is just sh*t, it makes you feel awful about yourself, your life and even to an even who you are as person. Dropping comparisons, is such a difficult thing to do, it won’t happen within a week, a month or even a year. Self comparison is something we have to work on daily. Our relationship with with our self is so much more important than spending the night stalking a guy you went on 2 dates with and comparing yourself to some queen glamourzon who could only be found in some hot girl city 400,000 miles away. Spending some time on you, though, will always benificial- so drop the dude, drop the stalking and pick up The life changing Magic of not giving a f*ck. You’re absolutely amazing and it’s time you bloody well believed it!
Being in a league of your own is a dream, isn’t it. Dropping comparison, negative friendships and embracing who you are- well, there all things we know we should do, but don’t. No relationship will last longer on this earth that the one you have with yourself. Not to go all Sarah McKnight on you, but do you really want to waste the next few years alienating yourself from your own life. Aren’t you better finding who you are and embracing it than finding another one sided friendship or worst, the mother of all f*ck boys?
Just something to think about?Aye.