Almost 7 months into the year, I have completed or even worked on any of my new resolutions- and to be honest, I feel totally shit about it. In my head 2019 was the year I’d become this confident, driven woman who’d lost a tone of weight and was happy. And as I write this post, I’ve put on a lot of weight, I’m in debt and I have absolutely no drive what so ever.
Now, this doesn’t mean I’m not happy, in fact the only upside to 2019. My mental health and anxiety have been arguably the best it’s been since I was a spotty teen rocking rock ports and blasting out Pretty Green Eyes, through my Sony Ericsson- ahh the days.
Armed with an army of notebooks, I hope to re-write my January Resolutions-and find something I’m actually motivated to achieve.
Around this time last year, I became pescatarian, so far, I’ve enjoyed the majority of it. Usually I stick to vegetarian meals and only eat fish when I’m feeling run down and need a little more protein in my diet. At the start I had hopes of eating super healthy meals all day every day, but it didn’t work that way. Right now, I find myself reaching for my vegetarian alternatives and chips- literally potatoes are my best mate.
Since Christmas, I’ve put on quite a lot of weight and truthfully, I think that’s one of the major reasons I feel so awful about myself. After a good cry and a planning session with the mother, I’ve got my trusty meal plan and I hope, that eating healthier will decrease me waistline and improve my mindset*she said hopefully*.
Okay, okay, I know I’ve been lacking a bit when it comes to content. My Instagram could be described as waste land and my blog has been on the back burner for what seems to be forever.
Recently, I’ve been really missing blogging, even beauty blogposts (which probably take the most effort), I’ve found SO enjoyable to write. It’s safe to say that I’ve found my blogging stride again- just maybe without the schedule?
Now, not to be that blogger(spoiler* I’m going to be), but I have been working on a little something, something when I comes to my little blog. It’s no brand collab or exciting venture, but it’s a way of making my space feel more like mine.
This space is somewhere I want people to relate too, and I hope the next couple of things I have in the pipeline excite you as much as they do me.
Actually, save something.
Now, I know us brits don’t talk about money and what not, but WE all know we everyone has some form of it. The debt spoke about earlier, isn’t a huge. In fact, after my next pay day it will pretty much cease to exist. Thank god!
Something else that ceases to exist is my bloody savings. Have multiple savings accounts with 0.02 in, just makes me feel a little bit sick.
Every month I have these great ideas which will leave me in the black (if that’s right) but I never quite manage it, so let’s hope July is just a little bit easier for me and my bank balance.
Have a trip somewhere.
This might be counter- productive in regards to saving but I NEED A BREAK. Waking up in bedding that I don’t have to wash, to drink coffee till it comes out my ears and to see something outside the norm is something that my soul just needs to experience.
As a rule, I haven’t traveled anywhere other than Greece. In fact traveling makes me ridiculously anxious, but right now, I would happily jump on a plane. Whilst I may not have achieved anything this year, there’s been plenty of drama: so a nice relaxing break a fair way from my problems sounds bloody epic.
Put myself first.
One of my great faults is taking on other people’s problems. I hate seeing those around me going through the ringer. There’s been so my instances that I’ve jumped into other people’s arguments and ended up being the one in the wrong. And because of this, I’m guilty of not taking enough time to myself.
By nature I’m pretty happy working day to day, so happy infact that I struggle to turn my brain off. Not only do I struggle to calm my brain but I tend to be hard on anything I do achieve. I constantly find myself wondering if I’m doing enough or if I’m even good enough in the first place. Combining this with being my friends and family’s equivalent to Jerry Springer, it’s safe to say I feel enough.
With questions running around my head, day in day out, I know taking time away from the worlds troubles is needed.
So with those, goals set, I hope the next six months will be much more productive? Or just filled with wine*shrugs*.