This year has been the year of,like, realising stuff- Kylie Jenner.
2018, has been a year I needed. An eye opening realisation, that the only thing holding my life back was me. And believe me it’s something I’ve rectified.
Over the years I’ve always thought I had to be some one else- that showing the real me would leave me lonely and insecure. Whilst at times I still feel those things in abundance, accepting who I am has only made me happier. With being happier my somewhat dull personality shines through, all the dorky, sarcastic and slightly flirty characteristics that once made my skin crawl sends me into hysterics. In short, 2018 is the year I finally accepted the person who I am and dropped my persona.
I’ve lost people along the way.
Towards the end of 2018, I backed away from a lot of friendships. Some I massively regret, others I’m not in the slightest bit bothered about. Losing the friends I have over the past 9 months has made me realise that friendships aren’t a two way street. Often one has feels the need to be there far more than the other. It’s unfair, but severely honest.I have always kept my friendship group small, I’m just not a ‘friends with everyone and their dogs, instantly’ kind of girl. And that’s perfectly okay.
In friendships I look for comfort. Comfort in the knowledge, that if I didn’t speak to a friend for months, if I needed them- they’d be there. Friends which bring sarcasm, prosecco and chic flicks after a break up( or just a Sunday). Being comfortable in any relationship is a big deal, and focusing on friendships which bring me nothing but comfort and sarcasm, are my best kinds of friendships.
I’ve been pretty selfish over the past twelve months. And I am completely not ashamed to admit it. I’ve previously spoken about my anxiety and the struggles I have with confidence, being selfish was and still is needed.
I’ve slowly learnt to put myself first, to make my goals and happiness a priority. Waving goodbye to negative impacts, people and clothing(we’ve all got that sneaky dress hanging in our wardrobes that we will never fit back into). Over the past 9 months I feel better not only in my own skin but in the person who I am.
I may not be as confident as I would hope to be, but steps are being taken to unleash my inner Miranda priestly whilst of course embracing my Miranda heart qualities.
Accepting being alone.
For the longest time I’ve wanted to be with someone. I’d love to come home to a cuddle after an awful day at work, but unfortunately life had other plans for me. And as I write this post I Am so great fun it’s worked out that way.
Right now, I have some amazing changes coming, things that wouldn’t be a alive toe if I wear to be coupled up. As a rule I feel so empowered to continue to create a life that I want, that I deserve. I will never be the shell of a girl I once was and it wasn’t until I writing this post I realised, that no man ‘saved me’. I did, well, me, the girls and copious amount of gin.
In the next week I will be sharing some of the amazing news I’ve received recently. I can’t wait to share what is coming- 2019 is going to be the year of an empowered Em- and it’s about bloody time!