As you sit and read this it will be my 26th birthday. I wanted to share with you the things I will and wont be taking into my 26th year.
In the words of Kylie Jenner, my 25th year on the planet has been the year of ‘like realising stuff’. Without sounding naive, this year needed to happen. 365 days ago I was a shy, anxious, shell of a person. And now? Well, now. I finally feel like my life has meaning- and honestly, it’s all I’ve ever hoped for.
Throughout this post I am going to share with you some images that remind me of the best moments of the year– the good the bad and the questionable.
You can never have enough knickers.
I cannot be the only person on this planet to constantly seem to be running out of underwear. Each month I add to my collection ( if you can call over priced pieces of cloth that hide your modesty a collection) yet I still end up rummaging through the ironing pile trying to find a pair on a cold Monday morning. Standard, amirite?
You are constantly reinventing yourself.
A massive lesson I have learned this year is personal growth is reinvention. You are not the person you were yesterday and you certainly aren’t the person you will be tomorrow. Reinventing yourself as the person you are is never quite finished- to be honest I don’t ever think it accomplishable.
Often we are told we should be a certain way, even when every inch of our being is telling us we are something different. Well, for me my reinvention was spurred on by gaining the ability to stop listening the negative people I had in my life. Whether it came from a place of love or hate, the comments were unnecessary and made an already anxious girl scared to create the life she wanted.
Through out my 26 years I have screwed up a lot. I trusted the wrong people, I let the wrong men into my life and honestly, I let my insecurities get the best of me. For the longest time I was paranoid. Until I asked for help and gave my life a kick up the arse.
You are enough.
I’ve never felt like I was enough. A strange but honest statement. If I am to be totally honest its been my point of view since I was a child. Until a fateful doctors appointment that changed my view and now, for the first time in 2191.45 days (according to Siri) I know I am enough and I am exactly where I need to be in my life.
From some one who used to shy away from new adventures, who couldn’t cope with life going wrong, and some one who genuinely felt shite about herself. I know I am perfectly okay with both me and the way my life is going right now.
And it is perfectly acceptable to love films as much as you love shoes.
It may come as no surprise to you (especially if you follow @whatemwears1 on Instagram) that I am head over heels with shoes- pun intended. In the words of Tina Fey’s character from In Her Shoes-
‘Shoes always fit’.
The only thing that’s stayed with me as long as my love of shoes is my struggle with my weight. When my clothing gets tight and I start to feel low within myself, I grab my favourite pair of boots, jeans and a cosy jumper and feel a little more myself.
Likewise with film and comic franchises. I have recently shared with you my love for Harry Potter, but in this case at least, we are speaking about my admiration for superhero’s. Marvel of course, is one of the biggest franchises in the world- you’d be hard up to find some one who doesn’t admire some superhero. Like Harry Potter, Marvel (its comics and films) are a way i can escape when my anxiety hits me like a train. Having an escape is a brilliant way to cope even when you feel like you cant. So, yes, I love me some superhero’s, wizards and house elves.
For anyone questioning why I’ve put these two things together, I love them equally and for me, a pair of shoes I totally adore is my cape *inserts Edna from the Incredables saying ‘ No Capes*. Shoes and accessories to many people are super powers, in the same way Make up boosts peoples confidence. A good pair of heels can boost not only height but the ability to take on what ever shit comes your way.
Shoes are superhero’s.
It doesn’t matter if its shallow, if it makes you feel better its worth it.
I’m a girl who likes her hair and nails done- and no one will ever make me feel ashamed of it. I’ve always felt my mind wander and my ability to cope with certain situations(and people) was completely at 0. And now? With the help of a fresh cut, a quick tan and even a new nail colour- I feel as if I can cope.
Even if only for a little while.
Now, I completely understand that this post is 1000% rambles, but a) the clue is literally in the blog name and b) its my birthday and i can ramble if i want too. In all seriousness, 25 is a year I will not be forgetting in a hurry. The situations I have been put in and the changes the year has brung have allowed me to continuously grow as a person and no matter how things change, develop or even stay the same. I know that 26 will continue to define who I am.
With the help of a lot of gin and prosecco, I know I’ll get through the next 12 months with a lot of laughs and a high alcohol percentage.
Another millennial getting closer to 30.