Where do I even begin?
I have wanted to write something similar to this for a little while. I have often mentioned that I intend on changing my life. Or at least changing my own perception of my life. Being confident within myself is something I have never known. Situations from my past, negative relationships (not all romantic) and just not believing I could create a different life for myself, have held me back for too long.
Life doesn’t change overnight. To do lists won’t allow you to be more organised, laughing won’t make your entire life less shit but changing your own mind set will. And the first thing you can do to change your life for the better is accept that life isn’t perfect, but love the perfect moments in it.
Mainly the first sip of coffee in a morning.
My life plan is a gonner.
When I was a teen I had an idea of what my life would be like. I would go to uni, meet the love of my life, graduate and become a fashion designer at a high end fashion house. Well, it’s safe to say that it didn’t happen.
At the age of 25 I have only just found what I hope is my calling in life and with every baby step my confidence grows with it. Only time will tell but what I do know life can’t be planned, we just have to roll with the punches.
Sorry, this isn’t a throwback to Blazin’ Squad.
I think I have previously spoken about how my life is currently a crossroads. I personally feel as if it would be so easy for me to revert back to the struggles I have previously. To the people I have trusted and been let down time and time again, if I am 100% truthful I don’t know what’s stopping me. Something is though.
Friendships & Relationships.
Recently I have really found the women that have shaped me. The women that empower me every day, I am honestly that I am able to call them friends. From boss ass blogging mummies to childhood friends, they all mean the world to me. Each of these friendships are unique, yet the things that we all want are all held at their core. Loyalty, trust and sarcasm are all I could ever want in a friendship.
In the past few months, I have backed away from group chats, purely because I’m just not the girl who can keep up with them. The women I have met along the way are absolutely amazing, but the reason I left was never about them. I was overwhelmed- I hope they understand (if they ever read this).
Romantic relationships is something I speak openly about on this blog. The good the bad and the downright shitty has been displayed for the world to see. As of right now I don’t want to be in a relationship. I have so many things to do which I believe I need to do for myself, no one else. Moments that will stick in my head for the rest of my life, knowing I did something on my own, for myself with only the girls and gin cheering me on.
Of course, if the man of my dreams does appear, I may change my mind but as of right now I am very happy building my confidence and find out who the fuck I am.
Knowing who you are is a bloody tricky one. I don’t think it’s ever anything we truly understand and the best thing about life is that we don’t need to. As long as we are happy and healthy, that is all that matters.