In the midst of a thousand rebranding’s, launches (yes, that does include my own) and ‘exciting times’ we all drone on about, it’s all too easy to lose who we are as a blogger. The single most important thing which makes everyone of us different, the single most important thing that brings readers back time and time again- who we are as a blogger.
After a huge binge of Chloe Plumstead, in which I seemingly fell on to a blog post which may or may not have shattered my current rant into smithereens. Chloe’s post about who she wants to be online stopped me in my tracks and left me with a question I wasn’t exactly sure I had the answer too.
‘Who am I as a blogger?’
After a few brews I came to a conclusion which I never thought I would. This slightly gobby, most definitely on the wrong side of a size 12 little blogger was in fact a blogger. Strange, when you come to terms with the fact I am not exactly a seagull who’d happily shit on your fish and chips. None the less, I am a start-up blogger who basically lives through her blog and the occasional(okay maybe not too occasional) swear word. A blogger who has never created a brand relationship but also doesn’t know if she is the right fit for one either.
Working two jobs and daily blogging(yes, I am going to call myself that) is incredibly difficult and something which leaves me often feeling pretty shitty. Typing away at a blog post about fuck boys or the latest River Island bag is my way of escaping the fact that I may never become the daringly bold introvert I want to become.
A cliché, girl meets boy, boy recues girl will never be who I am or what I stand for. Since the age of 16 I worked, working in post offices, restaurants and even a stint at a Race course and when I wasn’t working I was at university. Although looking back I hated my student self, but that is for another time. This post isn’t a woe is me, its about proving to myself that the tenacity I have, which has been instilled in me since I can remember. A small reminder that just because I am by no means where I want to be in life, but I am a much better place than what I was.
Working the hours I do really does open your eyes to a lot of bull. Something I wish my younger self would have known. In the past I have pretty much let everyone down, including myself, purely because I believed the good in others too easily. I still do. Yet, the more I learn, the more fuck ups I create, the more I know myself. The more I know who I am as a person and indeed who I want to be as a blogger.
This little online space means a lot to me. I’m pretty sure most know that. Yet many of you won’t see the hours I put behind every post- this goes for every blogger I know, too. Giving up 30+ hours of my life a week for something I love to do, something that pushes me to fight my anxieties isn’t something I ever want to give up. Often, stats sometimes make me give the ‘oh what’s the point speech’ but I still continue to chip away at every possible time.
I opt for topics which are relevant to myself, to the things I am going through. Of course I am by no means the biggest blogger in the world, in fact on the grand scale of things I’m pretty bloody shite. My style of blogging is pretty honest with a sarcastic whit that never fails. Or at least I hope it is.
As a blogger I’m not exactly PG, I swear too much and I have many posts in the pipeline in which I speak openly about sex (or the indeed lack of it). Although I am fully aware of my need for a swear jar, my posts are always honest. And that is exactly what I want to be known for.
Finding truth in a quick whip about the missionary position or finally opening up about a breakup will never be one sided(I’m a great over thinker). Nor will any of my content. I see so many people looking to find post that create ‘traffic’ so they can alter their media kits and smooze the babes at their fave brand.
Yet, you will see real home truths, if something is shit then I will plainly say it. If its time you need to leave that dude in the past you better believe there’s a post coming for you with a few reasons why you are a queen and he’s absolutely nothing. My blog. My little piece of the internet is nothing but MY OWN honest truth, from a girl that cares all too much but not enough to change a damn fucking thing.