‘New Year, New me?’
As I sit here writing this no doubt ridiculously long post, I cant help but become emotional. My first week in 2018 has been spent dedicating every moment to my work, to making a better life but right now I have absolutely no idea where to start. Working basically two full time jobs, only getting paid for one, throw in lack of sleep and the old hormone monster (that just don’t seem to want to buggar off). I could really do with a break.
As much as I want to I won’t. Right now I am just in the midst of a hormaonal wobble in which I tell myself, I am by no means good enough, that I will never become the person who I want to be. Only this feeling is temporary.
I know as off tomorrow, when I plod down stairs to make my morning cup of coffee I will be ready to take on the world again. Ready to tell my insecurities to pipe down and work my arse of on my blog and new venture which will hopefully turn my shitty little career into a much greater one.
2018, IS going to be my selfish year.
Career, mental health, body image you name it things will get better. I have so many ideas, plans and dreams and if I achieve just a few then, I will be more than happy at the end of the year.
I will keep some things to myself, as I know many wouldn’t really care if I ‘ finally got over my fear of frogs’. Well, some of you might. Anyway,I thought I would update you on the things I am so utterly excited for. A few of these things have been a long time coming!
Time to prove myself wrong.
I constantly tell myself that ‘I can’t do that’, ‘nobody even gives a shit’ or in my insecure moments ask myself ‘why am I so shit compared to her’. I find it so easy to tare myself to shreds and wish my life was some one else’s. Not feeling enough, is a feeling I know all too well and its a feeling I would gladly telly to fuck of and never come back.
Everyone has down days, everyone has days in which they feel like they are utterly shit and can’t comprehend putting our knickers on. These ‘off’ days do not define who you are and it is perfectly fine to sit in your PJ’s, watch Gilmore girls and dream of running away with the only two men in your life that will never let you down Ben and Jerry.
That little day dream is my real life, at least once a month. Aren’t you jealous?
Any way I may have lost my train of thought there, but essentially, I want to prove that little voice in my head wrong. And I am petrified.
Become a ‘better blogger’.
Okay, I know being a blogger doesn’t really come with a job description but please bare with me. Blogging to me is something I love to do, so pushing myself to become better is something that I really would love to focus on. I do believe there is always room for improvement and with my blog I think we can all agree there a few things that could do with being a little more professional.
Honestly. My images are shit.
I really want to challenge myself to better my images, trying new styles and investing in new equipment. Imagery is key within any blog whether I want to admit that or not. Photography is an area which I am so excited to play around with so please shout if your sick of seeing my ugly mug posing incorrectly.
I am going to admit something to you. I gave up my Christmas break to write the tits off my blog content. Doing so, gave me the ability to get WAYYYYY ahead with my content. In fact, you are looking at a daily blogger for the next month at least! I know, I’m a idiot! Ha. Working the hours on my blog that I have has meant that I kind of found my passion for blogging again, even if I didn’t think I had at the time.
My schedule may change but right now I am really enjoying working on daily content- even if it does mean giving up my Sunday morning Lie ins.
Upping my GAME!
Over the next few weeks you will notice a few changes on this little space of mine. The changes I have started are something’s I have wanted to do since transferring over from BlogSpot. The move has been a massive learning curve and I am sure the next few changes will be too! Watch this space!
Focus more on what I want to achieve.
As previously mentioned I have a tendency to compare myself to others. Comparing myself to others have left my self esteem shattered and often leads to losing my ambition. Well this year I am determined to try my best to not compare myself with others. Reminding myself of the reasons why I attempt the things I do, focusing on what I need and lastly unfollowing the people I compare myself with on the daily. Cause huns, no ones got time to feel shit, cause that girl on instagram is fit as with the ultimate wardrobe. Girl, bye!
2018, is going to be difficult but rewarding too. I don’t know whether to be swinging from the rafters with anticipation, or procrastinating with 45 cups at a desk. Probably the latter.
Here’s to 2018 and the roller coaster it will become!