Blogtober Day 10: Direction- Or Lack of it.

IMG_3402[1]Bumbling through life at the speed of a slug having a nap, sounds a good analogy for my life night now. I have so many ideas which seem to flutter in and out of my head. One moment I think sod it, I want to travel the next well who knows. I certainly don’t.

The truth is what I want to do with my life isn’t really possible at this moment in time. And it’s something I don’t think I have admitted to anyone, including myself. And, sorry loves but you’re just going to have to wait to find out what that is.

My life lacks direction. I am so bloody proud of women I speak to daily who know what they want to do and seek it out. Who found their passion outside of blogging and are killing it daily. It’s those women that give me hope that one day I will have a careerthat I have always dreamed of. A career that could really change the life of others. But right now, I’m a receptionist.

Reaching out.

In fact not just in my search for a career but for life in general. I mean it’s not like you can buy it from Argos?

What if that passion never reaches you? What if I’m not meant to have direction in my life? Or the even scarier prospect- What if I’m going to be a receptionist my entire working life? Fuck.

Breaking the mold.

Do you need direction? Do you need to be successful?

Of course not, there will always be someone to look down on you- in my case it’s usually myself. Success is as personal as sex. You and only you, will see yourself as successful. Yet, I never do or will. And neither will you. The image you created as ‘direction’ will taint any success you have. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I don’t have direction because honestly, I wasn’t cut out for the direction I thought was right for me. What was right for my friends and I ? We were going to grow up as bosom buddies with the same job and boss life- right? No love, your wrong.

Life doesn’t work how we expect it too.

It wasn’t until writing this post I realized my direction isn’t paved on a stunning gold path, its paved with copious bottles of wine and a few pizza boxes. BECAUSE THAT is my direction, the morals I hold from the mistakes I have made is my direction, they will propel me through life.

And the fact I got sacked from my first graduate job, will be a memory of the past. So when I find the ‘direction’ we all seem to be fighting over, I will be sure to tell you all. Until then, I hope you will stick around for sort of daily blogging thing I have going off here.

Much love,

The lost blogger. Xxx