Learning to Love Yourself After A break up.

I can honestly say, I gave everything I could to my last relationship. I’m not going to go into too much detail but I can proudly say that. In the weeks after we split I found that I had more strength than I ever thought possible. Although, the way I found out meant my heart break for the relationship I’d lost had to be pushed to the side. I had bigger fish to fry.

So a month or two after my break up, I began to go through the motions. I missed him. I missed us. We weren’t right for each other, but I couldn’t help but want to call him. I find it quite worrying how much I wanted to call him, actually– especially after a glass or two. I am not ashamed to say I did call and speaking to him opened the can of worms again.

But sodding him off, and focusing on myself has been the best experience I have ever had. At 24, I can honestly say I am not where I want to be, BUT, I’m not far off. This break up with someone I could see a life with (VOM), taught me more than I could ever know. And here’s a little snippet.

Crying- total god send.

Everyone has been here. Sitting on the floor crying into their 7th tub of Ben and Jerry’s wondering why the world hates us so bloody much. Sobbing through every word, of the supportive messages from group text, OR simply wondering if you can go back and retract everything.

You are most definitely not alone. Whether Break up or just a shit day this happens to us all. Remember its not those who hurt us that matter. The ones that matter  give the spoon for the Ben and Jerrys and calls the person who hurt you a wanker.

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No one should tell you what to do- you cry into your tea!

Taking time

Do not be one of those people who jump from relationship to relationship for pissing hells sake. Your emotions don’t roll over from a prior experience, you are not giving bonus points and you most certainly don’t ‘win the break up’.

Take time to find yourself again. Go to the gym, buy shoes, drink shit wine and laugh with the girls. Feed your soul with light and laugher.

Cutting of the world- put down the phone.

Turn off, hide, give to a friend- i don’t care. Just have time away from your phone. You will only hurt yourself further if you try and see what your ex is up too.

Laughing

Scientifically laughing is good for you- even if its a fake laugh to make your dad’s day. Laughing is a great way to make you feel like yourself again. Its so easy to lose who you are at the end of a relationship, or even in the relationship. So grab a mate and do something that will make you laugh until you wee!

Building your confidence.

Now this is a funny one. Everyones confidence levels very and if you naturally are lacking in confidence it really is hard to build. It’s hard but not unimaginable. Just take things in baby steps. If you aren’t confident enough to go to the gym, book a class? Everything you think you can’t do, you can. Trust me.

Opening up

Talking about the relationship is good. It helps the healing process. Talking to those closest to you will really help. Shutting them out will only hurt you in the meantime.

Moving on.

Moving on takes time, when you are ready. And only then should you do so. It’s okay to be scared or nervous, love will always arrive when you least expect it too.

Hope this little ramble helps anyone who feels a little lost after a break up. Break ups don’t define who you are. Sometimes we all just need time to reassess and move on.