Panic Attacks: The truth.

IMG_3294[1]
picture- my own.

I am going to be 120% honest, I have no idea where I am going with this post. Many of you out there will know I suffer with panic attacks. Unfortunately, I don’t see myself living without them. But I HAVE , found a few ways to combat, end or put off them. Ultimately, the end result always seems the same- me sat on/in a toilet, crying wanting the a hole to come and swallow me up.

When all the dust has settled and the panic attack subsided, there is always a feeling of loss. Not loss in the sense of grief or misplacing a well-loved possession. Loss in the form of losing yourself. Weeks can pass and you simply don’t feel like you. Putting you knickers on in a morning, seems more daunting than a sky dive without a parachute.  This disconnected feeling really doesn’t leave. You don’t get a night off or a 5 minute commercial break, it lingers until you except that it won’t ever leave you.

But, it does.

Each panic attack varies, yes- it’s true. The length of time you feel like a glorified zombie is only personal to you; to that attack.

One morning, you will wake up and manage to put your wangers on the right way around, get dressed and boss that day like no other can. It just takes a little time. Remember, baby steps are still steps.

I can’t tell you how to deal with a panic attack. Hell, I can barely handle my own! But I can tell you what works for me and hope it helps you realize, just because it’s your struggle, you are most certainly not on your own.

Get out of the situation- if possible.

There has been no amount of times at work when I have had to escape to a toilet and ignore the world for 15 minutes to calm the f down. To be able just to combat that awful feeling of all you emotions attacking you like the Dothraki- just get out

Call someone.

We all have that one friend who we can call and physically not have to say a word to other than ‘Hi’. The one friend that can unintentionally natter on for an hour before even realizing you’re on the other line waiting to speak too. Call that friend, focus on their voice and their voice alone. Ignore everything else going on and just listen.

Sit down

Seriously, SIT DOWN. Stop pacing, walking, drifting- whatever you want to call it just bloody stop and give your feet a rest.

Have a cup of tea- no alcohol.

All jokes aside, in the prospects of getting out of the situation and just stopping what better excuse is there to make a brew? And tea is scientifically proven to calm you! Bonus.

I know, I’ve never met a decent alcoholic cup of tea either!

 

In the aftermath, let yourself feel whatever the hell you want to.

It’s built into use to shame ourselves for our feelings, but stopping the emotions brimming under the surface is arguable a reason for your anxiety to build up. Let your emotions out, if you angry be angry. If you want to cry, cry. It’s okay to feel whatever the hell you want too!

Remember, that having a panic attack is utterly BOLLOCKS shit.

I’m sorry I tried to put it a more PG rated way but it is simply that. Shit. From those moments when you mentally can’t stop your brain from working, to the physical ache that comes along for the ride- it’s all just shit.

Panic attacks come and go. A battle truly unique to us all, with the same common enemy. It’s not your fault. You are not wired wrong *repeat the two previous sentences*. Just remember you will beat a panic attack, the aftermath and the no doubt eventuality of it happening again. You will beat it and become stronger, even if you don’t feel it.