I’ve been having a little look through my past blog posts and I realised it’s been a while since I’ve updated you on the comings and goings of well, me. Life’s definitely been a little lac lustre for me recently; I’ve just felt unsure of almost everything in my life. Whilst I haven’t really anything to worry about I’ve felt myself worrying over nothing.
As ridiculous as it seems I haven’t wanted to update you because I haven’t felt like myself but in the grand scheme of it all, I’m feeling much better in myself. Over the past few weeks I’ve started spending more time on me, giving myself time away from my phone and just letting me be, has done wonders. So, I thought I’d share the things I’m trying out with you.
Making Time for Myself
In the past few months I’ve just not felt myself. In my recent post I spoke about the changes I wanted to make in my life, a lot of them linked back to simply making more time for myself.
I find it so easy to build up others and rip myself apart. Blogging, reading and even just sitting with a brew watching the birds in the back garden (yes, I’m a 87 year old n a 26 year olds body). Taking more time to do the things I love has fast become a priority for me. After a bad day at work, or even when I just feel a little overwhelmed, I give myself some time- and hopefully it will reignite some passions of mine.
I’m actually blonder in real life. I blame my poor selfie skills
Okay, I may not be Barbie blonde but I’ve been toying with the idea of having my Balayage put back through my hair for a little while. And like a lot of my life I just didn’t make it a priority. Whilst my hair seems to have grown like Rapunzel’s I just don’t think my natural colour suits who I am.
Adding a few highlights is incredibly superficial but it’s something that makes me feel a little more myself. So, I thought I’d bring it back.
Finding a New Challenge
I think the majority of my problems are that I’m stuck in a rut with no idea to get out of it. Finding something I can really sink my teeth into is kind of a must for me. By Nature, I love to have a challenge but I’m quite lazy. One side of my brain tells me to plan exciting adventurous and pursue blogging, but the other side is telling me to go take a nap. It’s a constant struggle with motivation and procrastination.
Anyway, I’ve been looking to find something to get me out of my rut. So if you have any ideas, leave me a comment below, because I’m purely at a loss when it comes to leaving my comport zone.
Creating my Own Space
For the year or so I’ve been wanting to create a space I can live and work in. Being pretty stretched for space, creating a motivating yet relaxing space has proven quite difficult. If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you might know I’ve been spending some time decorating my room.
Switching up my dated bright pink walls, to a clean white open space. Contrasting with a bright but beautiful palm print wall paper, the space has instantly been updated. In a few weeks I’m hoping to find small desk to give me somewhere to work: my bed is just not working out anymore– who’d have known.
Changing my space has been pretty easy but so motivating. In just a few weeks I’ve majorly upped my content- winning!
And there you have it. All the things I’m attempting to change. I know a lot of these things won’t happen and I may feel like crap in a few days but at least I’m trying.
Forever, hopefully deluded.
*Disclaimer-Nothing in this post was given as a gift or at a discount. I wasn’t paid for anything shown in this post.
No hyperlinks have been given throughout this post as all items have been sold out or have been discontinued*
Almost 7 months into the year, I have completed or even worked on any of my new resolutions- and to be honest, I feel totally shit about it. In my head 2019 was the year I’d become this confident, driven woman who’d lost a tone of weight and was happy. And as I write this post, I’ve put on a lot of weight, I’m in debt and I have absolutely no drive what so ever.
Now, this doesn’t mean I’m not happy, in fact the only upside to 2019. My mental health and anxiety have been arguably the best it’s been since I was a spotty teen rocking rock ports and blasting out Pretty Green Eyes, through my Sony Ericsson- ahh the days.
Armed with an army of notebooks, I hope to re-write my January Resolutions-and find something I’m actually motivated to achieve.
Around this time last year, I became pescatarian, so far, I’ve enjoyed the majority of it. Usually I stick to vegetarian meals and only eat fish when I’m feeling run down and need a little more protein in my diet. At the start I had hopes of eating super healthy meals all day every day, but it didn’t work that way. Right now, I find myself reaching for my vegetarian alternatives and chips- literally potatoes are my best mate.
Since Christmas, I’ve put on quite a lot of weight and truthfully, I think that’s one of the major reasons I feel so awful about myself. After a good cry and a planning session with the mother, I’ve got my trusty meal plan and I hope, that eating healthier will decrease me waistline and improve my mindset*she said hopefully*.
Okay, okay, I know I’ve been lacking a bit when it comes to content. My Instagram could be described as waste land and my blog has been on the back burner for what seems to be forever.
Recently, I’ve been really missing blogging, even beauty blogposts (which probably take the most effort), I’ve found SO enjoyable to write. It’s safe to say that I’ve found my blogging stride again- just maybe without the schedule?
Now, not to be that blogger(spoiler* I’m going to be), but I have been working on a little something, something when I comes to my little blog. It’s no brand collab or exciting venture, but it’s a way of making my space feel more like mine.
This space is somewhere I want people to relate too, and I hope the next couple of things I have in the pipeline excite you as much as they do me.
Actually, save something.
Now, I know us brits don’t talk about money and what not, but WE all know we everyone has some form of it. The debt spoke about earlier, isn’t a huge. In fact, after my next pay day it will pretty much cease to exist. Thank god!
Something else that ceases to exist is my bloody savings. Have multiple savings accounts with 0.02 in, just makes me feel a little bit sick.
Every month I have these great ideas which will leave me in the black (if that’s right) but I never quite manage it, so let’s hope July is just a little bit easier for me and my bank balance.
Have a trip somewhere.
This might be counter- productive in regards to saving but I NEED A BREAK. Waking up in bedding that I don’t have to wash, to drink coffee till it comes out my ears and to see something outside the norm is something that my soul just needs to experience.
As a rule, I haven’t traveled anywhere other than Greece. In fact traveling makes me ridiculously anxious, but right now, I would happily jump on a plane. Whilst I may not have achieved anything this year, there’s been plenty of drama: so a nice relaxing break a fair way from my problems sounds bloody epic.
Put myself first.
One of my great faults is taking on other people’s problems. I hate seeing those around me going through the ringer. There’s been so my instances that I’ve jumped into other people’s arguments and ended up being the one in the wrong. And because of this, I’m guilty of not taking enough time to myself.
By nature I’m pretty happy working day to day, so happy infact that I struggle to turn my brain off. Not only do I struggle to calm my brain but I tend to be hard on anything I do achieve. I constantly find myself wondering if I’m doing enough or if I’m even good enough in the first place. Combining this with being my friends and family’s equivalent to Jerry Springer, it’s safe to say I feel enough.
With questions running around my head, day in day out, I know taking time away from the worlds troubles is needed.
So with those, goals set, I hope the next six months will be much more productive? Or just filled with wine*shrugs*.
In the past I have dabbled with favourites posts, and thought it would be a pretty cool to introduce it back to my blog. Sharing things that I love for that month isn’t only a great way to introduce new products to you guys but its a way I can remember what I keep reaching for.
My Few Faves post, will talk about all the things I love from lifestyle, beauty and music to holidays and trips I take. Mixing up my Faves post is something that I really wanted to do. With so many bloggers around, I’m aware things can be pretty same-y -so, introducing new areas to my favourites post may make it seem like I have a life and don’t sit in my room watching crap on YouTube. *shrugs*
Any way, I digress, this faves post will hopefully be up every 1-2 months. Being a creature of habit I don’t tend to find new things. So for me personally, I need to wait a little longer than most to share the things I keep reaching for.
After being introduced to the mega murder podcast(in the best possible way), after watching a Katie Snooks, vlog last year- its safe to say i’ve become pretty obsessed. I have spent hours at work typing away listening to the prerfect mix of murder and Sarcasm.
But, before I start fangirling, I’ll let you know what my excitement is all about. My favourite murder is a podcast, starring Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgaraff, where the two true crime lovers speak openly (and bloody hilariously-excuse the pun) about Murder’s throughout the years.
From Jack the Ripper to the ‘I survived ‘ tales, the two incredible, podcast hosts speak with compassion and humilty- whilst cracking more jokes than your pissed up uncle at Christmas. In theory this podcast shouldn’t work, but the charasmetic host’s, some how have managed it. If you are a murderino, or just interested in true crime then this is the perfect posdcast for you.
Recently these two incredible women have realeased a book called ‘Stay Sexy and Don’t get murdered’– Which I will no doubt be purchasing on Pay day. This book discusses topics which have been seemingly untouched by the two creative genius’s. Speaking about situations such as depression, eating disorders and I’m sure some murders, in their own way. I can’t really speak about the book, as I haven’t read it but, I am almost sure it will be on a faves post very soon.
My daily go too, Ester Lauder Day Wear, is my morning savour! After getting up at 4.45am I just can’t be bothered to go full force with make up. Estée Lauder has out done themselves when it comes to this product. Initially the product comes out as a grey paste, which when rubbed into your skin oxidises, bronzing up your complexion. The product blends into skin with minimal effort- perfect for my 5 am brain!
I tend to use a brush to apply to my skin as it just makes my skin look so much more even than when i apply with my hands or a sponge. HOWEVER, recently, Alex, from icovertthee, used her hands with this product and her skin looked flawless- so you, do you.
Now, just a warning, if you use any more than a pea sized amount then you will more than likely look as orange as David Dickinson and be an oily mess by the time you leave house- so save your product and your skin and use only a tiny amount.
With a high end brand, you’d expect the price to be up there and if I’m honest, just thinking about forking over £43.00(but I’m sure I only paid £36) for one product hurts my bank balance- but what I will say, is the the amount of product you get is bloody amazing. I bought this product about 6 weeks ago and I’ve barely used a quarter of it(and I use it at least 5 days a week). So this product’s longevity is INSANE!
Estee Lauder Day wear, definitely comes with it’s pros and cons but I never want to be without this product, so it simply had to be in my faves post.
Divinely uninspired to a hellish extent, could be one of the best albums I have ever listened too. Being up there with albums such as Adele’s 19 and pretty much any song sung by Sam Smith, Lewis Capaldi has made an album that I believe everyone needs in there life. Vinyl, iTunes, Cassettes, if you’re old school, where ever you get your Capaldi fix – get it( or click the link to listen on Spotify).
One of my favourite songs on the Album is One. In hindsight the song is about the ultimate love story starting from the ultimate heartbreak but it always seems to make me think of the people that have always picked me up after I’ve fallen or failed miserably. From start to finish this song fills me with strength, unless I’m drunk and I cry like a baby for 3 minutes.
Drunken sobbing aside, I pretty much love the whole album, its been on repeat since I downloaded it. So, trust me when I say, the hype is real.
If you’ve read my recent post, Bad Skin Diaries, then you will know trust my skin has been in dire need of help- and my lips were no exception. With the change in season and my skin flare up my lips were swollen and sore, even smiling made me reach for the Panadol! It wasn’t until I strolled up to the Clarins counter, that was introduced to this little lip saver.
Clarins Comfort Lip Oil, £ 19, May be on the pricey side for what can only be described as an Uber luxourious lip balm- but trust me when I say, it is worth every penny. Just days* after I lathered my lips in this super soft oil, my lips were much more comfortable and in just a week you could see my lips visibly start to heal. And a month later? My lips are fully healed and nourished- and I could not be happier!
So if you are suffering with your lips then this is the product for you.
* I applied this at least three times a day or when my lips had become sore.
And, there you have it, my first favourites post for what seems an age. I hope you enjoyed it.
Hope to see you soon,
**Disclaimer- images will be getting better, but as you know I am useless. Please bare with me*
I know its been a while but I promise I’m back with a metaphorical bang. As may of my long term readers will know each month I try and share a blogger I love, and this month is no exception. Today I have the pleasure of sharing an interview with the ultimate gal pal. Armed with positivity, motivational quotes and absolutely epic blog posts it’s no surprise that this little babe, has been sought after for more than a few exciting opportunities. Whether you’re looking for skincare reviews or a piece to kick start your day, Alicia is the blogger for you.
Alicia A La Mode was a way for Alicia to channel her thoughts and creativity. Each blog post Alicia creates is unbelievably empowering with quotes from inspiring men and women such as Beth Sandland and the legendary Ram Dass.
From humble Piczo beggings to a whole new realm of creativity, Alicia A La Mode, is the one place you can go and trust every word- or maybe, even find a new favourite motivational quote or two.
So, without further ado, let me introduce you to the wonderful Alicia.
Hi Alicia, thank you for taking part!
I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you here!
So my first question has to be what made you take the plunge and start blogging ?
Thank you for having me! So, What made me take the plunge? well, I don’t know if you remember Piczo websites? I had one in secondary school and that’s basically where I learnt all my html stuff haha! I would upload so many pictures of my friends and writing about our memories and I just loved it, I grew out of that by 15 and then in my early twenties I stumbled across beauty blogs and thought omg I would love to do this, I tried for a while, then gave up (its harder than it looks!) And then I met my boyfriend and he was so supportive and bought me a camera and told me I should give it a go and I’ve never looked back since! (thanks babe haha)
For me, personally, you and your content has change over the past year. Your content has become so much stronger and you’ve seemed to become so much more confident within your social media, is this something you’ve been trying to work on ? Or have do you think you’ve just come into your own with experience ?
Awww that is actually really sweet for you to notice. I feel like I’ve learnt a lot about myself and I’ve found my strengths in the past year or so and my confidence has just grown with the experience, it definitely helps when I get messages or engagement in response to something I’ve spoken about, it helps to know I’m on the right track and I’m making a small difference to other people.
You’ve recently spoken openly about suffering with eczema and the effect it had on your confidence. Was this something you were nervous about writing? Or something you felt like you needed to say?
I am actually really nervous about writing such personal post that I was currently dealing with but after writing about my health anxiety and smear test experience I had such amazing feedback from that I just kept thinking back to that feeling and use that as motivation. I really do get a buzz from helping other people out and I have always been quite a confident person, ever since I was a child I haven’t ever cared about other peoples opinions (about myself) but I felt like for the first time I was feeling that self conscious feeling due to my skin flaring up so I was looking for blog posts that had an eczema related post so I would feel better and less isolated but I only found a couple so I thought right I need to just talk about it myself, see if anybody else is suffering and maybe I can help someone in my situation.
Just one of the things I admire about you so much is your passion for blogging, each post just seems so individual to you. Every post you write seems to be so truthful, is this something you thinks important?
Yes 100%! I’ve been the same ever since I was young I think it’s so so important to be honest about everything . It doesn’t matter if it’s in real life or on my blog I would never recommend a product or speak about anything if I didn’t fully believe in it and I think it takes a lot of honesty to build trust in either a friend or a reader so I wouldn’t ever jeopardise that. I always write blog posts as if I’m talking to a friend so I hope my readers find it easy to relate.
📸 owned by Alicia
Throughout, all your blogs you use inspirational quotes from many influential women. Is encouraging women some thing you want to continue throughout your blog (because you do it bloody amazingly)?
Thank you so much! I do love encouraging women I think it’s important to teach young women about it too. I’m the friend everybody goes to for advice too, I’ve been told so many times that I should be a life coach haha! I just love helping people and giving them that extra bit of encouragement because it really does stick with you.
Speaking of admiration, Is there anyone you admire? And if so why does that person stand out to you?
My late nan, she was such huge inspiration to me and she was actually the one who told me I should be a writer one day haha! She was such a strong woman and so so caring but she wouldn’t ever let anybody take advantage of her, she knew her worth and that’s what I admired so much about her. I am a lot like her and everything I believe in is due to what she taught me.
In fact, your writing style as a whole is so incredibly positive, do you find it comes naturally or does writing make you feel more positive within your self?
It comes fairly natural to me, on the whole I’m quite positive. I do tend to overthink things and I got in a state with my eczema but overall I like to look at the bigger picture and concentrate on the more important stuff. I don’t see the point in holding grudges or talking negatively about people, I think it’s better to look for the positives in anything you can, otherwise you’ll become quite miserable. I love laughing and don’t like taking things too seriously so positivity always wins for me haha.
Just like you’re writing, your fashion is something so unique to you. Is fashion something you want to introduce more ?
I’m in too minds about this, I love fashion and I started this blog intending it to be a fashion blog but I just got so carried away with beauty in the end! I would like to feature more of my fashion because I have quite an eclectic taste, I don’t even think you could label it, I love cool casual clothing but then I love floaty boho outfits too, I don’t stick to one style at all I just see something I like and wear it, the only thing that puts me off is the guilt if I feel like I’m adding to the fast fashion industry so maybe I could post more ethical brands or a capsule wardrobe perhaps?
I’m one of your recent posts, you opened up a lot more about crystals. As some one who has carried rose quarts around with me for years, I can’t help but wonder has introducing crystals helped you find your ‘zen’?
Oh really? Me too! Haha. It definitely has helped me, my nan used to use them all the time so I kinda grew up already knowing what they were and she gave me my own one on my first day of school when I was around 5 years old? But I grew up and just didn’t give it much thought but after she passed, I was so grateful to be able to keep her crystals and then that sparked up my fascination with them again. I think they are so beautiful to look at regardless to whether people think they work or not I just find it reassuring to have something physical to hold to help me feel better if that makes sense? I have rose quartz all around my bath even rose quartz candle holders and it helps me relax sooooo much, I love it.
One of the many bloggers you’ve quoted throughout your work is Beth Sandland, is traveling something you would be interested in sharing on your blog ? Is it something you keep to yourself(we all need something)?
Oh I love Beth! She has definitely inspired me to travel more, I love that she is very realistic and transparent. I feel like if I go travelling, even in the UK I will definitely share it on my blog I’m a bit of an anxious traveller in all honesty, so I would have to bring you all on the journey too – as moral support!
You’ve accomplished so much with your blog recently. Blogosphere, Collabs and finally figuring a way to combine our past few months. What’s next for Alicia A La Mode?
Aw, Thank you! I would be over the moon if I had my own podcast, I would love to tackle taboo subjects with other women and I would love to write my own book or create my own wellness journal so I could physically help or teach women to love themselves or just to feel amazing. I really think self love is a priority and I would have it based around that.
And that empowering little answer is the end of this incredible interview with Alicia, I hope you’ll agree that she is more than an average blogger. Her enthusiasm is not only not only infectious but needed in such a dramatic blogosphere. Whether its sharing inspirational quotes from other incredible women, or speaking openly about topic that effect us all. Alicia A La Mode, is one of the most exciting up and coming bloggers for me, personally.
With the recent growth in her blog , I cant wait to see what the future holds for this amazing creator (and her ADORABLE pug, Louie). I hope you agree that, Alicia is proof that if you are true to yourself a glass ceilings are made to be broken.
Whether, it’s her introduction of cristals, or the encouragement she weaves in every post, it’s a little wonder why Alicia is one of my favourite bloggers. I couldn’t be more grateful for this amazing blogger to take part in this series.
I hope you feel the same.
If you want to find out more about Alicia, feel free to search her socials (see below) or use the hyperlinks at the beginning of the post. Alternatively, leave a comment and show this megababe some love!
Disclaimer: All images have been sent from Alicia, I own no rights to the images shown throw out the post. If you would like to see any more images from Alicia, please search one of her handles.
If I am totally honest with you, I have tried to come up with some witty snippet which shows my sheer admiration for the woman I am about to interview and nothing came close. In other words, Rachel Salter, otherwise known as Dollie is not only one of the most inspiring people I have ever met, but is truly an incredible friend.
Whilst sharing her love of all things Disney, her illnesses, and her up and coming bundle of Joy, its safe to Say the love she shares throughout her channels, will soon be shown in an all new light. So I would like to welcome you to the wonderfully magical world of Dollies Adventures...
Hope you’re okay and are still as wonderful as ever! 2018 was such a massive year for you, what does 2019 hold for you?
Hey Em! Thank you so much for having me as apart of your interviews, I am so grateful to be given this chance to sit and have a little natter with you. Well kicking of 2019 with the most incredible news that I am going to be a mummy. My husband and I have been trying for a baby for a long while so feel completely blessed to finally have this beautiful baby in our lives. Baby is due in September and I cannot wait. This year will bring lots of lifestyle updates in regards to pregnant life, decorating the nursery and on top of that LOTS more Disney and lovely pretties! I am still working with Soap and Glory reviewing new products which is always such a joy and I hope to work with another big beauty brand in the coming future all being well, I’ll reveal as time goes on.
Disney is such a huge part of your life, are you planning on taking any more trips to the land of happiness?
My husband and I are absolutely planning more trips to Disney of course!! Once Baby is big and old enough to safely and comfortably travel we will make that magical journey to the castle and share it with our baby.
For me you embody Disney, you provide so much happiness to those around you whether thats through your blog, social media or friendship. Even supporting people like myself when we were completely young and naive. So, I was wondering, If there was one thing you would want to tell your younger self?
Oh that is an incredibly good question and one that generates nothing short of a powerful response. What I would tell my younger self is to STOP! Stop confirming to trends, groups, popular opinions and acting a certain way because you thought it was cool ~ Be your own person, stand out because you’re yourself and proud. Make decisions based on your gut and not your heart and always have faith in your own mind and abilities. I would tell myself to stop being to hard on yourself, you put too much pressure on yourself and you don’t need to. Enjoy life and the little things because with hard work you’ll reap the benefits so work hard but don’t forget to let your hair down because your only young once and shouldn’t look back regret can eat a person alive.
You are so passionate about spreading awareness about disabilities, is this something that you will continue to do on your blog and socials?
100% absolutely! Awareness is key after all! Individuals with disabilities are amount the strongest of people I have had the deepest pleasure of meeting, working with and crossing paths with, I adore everyone I have met and am humbled and inspired by everyone’s journeys and lives. WE deserve everything that everyone else is offered, the disabled community deserve a voice and a platform and if I am but one person who helps stand up and creates a voice then so be it. One person is better than none. When I was first diagnosed with my health conditions it wasn’t the condition that hurt and tore me apart it was the sheer loneliness and isolation being sick brings and I couldn’t bare the thought of anyone else feeling this same feeling. So if I have to speak openly and freely about my health including all the embarrassing parts in order to stop just 1 other person feeling that loneliness creep in ~ then my blog has made a difference. That’s why I’ll continue to speak freely, openly and proudly about my disabilities on as many platforms as possible.
Just one thing I admire about you is your openness to discuss your own illnesses, whilst still taking on the world like the ultimate boss. Do you ever think your amazing mindset could be changed?
Oh bless you babe, thank you, no way!! My mindset will never change I will continue to be the honest, humorous and sometimes sarcastic writer about my own health for as long as there’s a platform I will continue to have a voice.
In the past you’ve been a constant support when I’ve struggled with my mums illness’s. Is being a support to others something that means a lot to you ? And do you have your own supporters when things get tough?
Hearing that makes me feel so happy knowing that I have offered support to you in times where you’ve needed it the most, that makes me so happy. I feel very passionate about helping and supporting others because to be honest with my illnesses and disabilities made my life incredibly difficult and I probably did not have as much support as I needed not through anyone’s fault but Purely because my support network where so fearful of the diagnosis and the life I was living that they wouldn’t accept or acknowledge it and that made it hard to manage alone. I had no choice but to become my own biggest support and learn to be strong for everyone else and myself. This is probably why I am passionate about helping and supporting others.
You have an amazing ability of making every one feel amazing about themselves. You’re so motivating to everyone, who motivates you?
I think personally it’s not who motivates me it’s more so what motivates me. The motivations comes from the fact that I was told I would never be able or capable of doing something, therefore find love and motivation is finding a passion for something that no one believed that I could but don’t get me wrong the smaller passionate bloggers inspire me because they remind me that we all started somewhere and everyone deserves a chance and a platform to do what they love.
In the past you have dabbled in YouTube, is that something your going to continue ? Or is blogging the way for you?
I would LOVE to do some YouTube pregnancy videos however I’m honestly struggling to find the time to do everything. When your pregnant, working and walking around with some absolutely crap health issues days can run away with you and sometimes finding time to eat becomes a task in itself. If there where more hours in the day I would love too.
You have worked with some amazing brands recently, is this something you’d love to continue?
Yes I feel absolutely blessed to have been given such wonderful opportunities with brands and I hope that I continue working with some more, as I mentioned earlier there’s one more in the pipeline but I’m not allowed to mention that yet ha ha!
I could ask you a million questions (honestly) but if there was one thing that you wish you could tell others, what would it be?
One thing I could tell others?! Wow such an incredible question and to be honest I’m struggling to narrow it down because I am quite a passionate conversationalist and depending on my audience would depend on my topic. One this I would say is this STOP pushing smaller bloggers away just because of the amount of followers they have, so you ever think sometimes people just deserve a bloody break and need just 1 person to step out of the line of judgemental influencers and vouch for them?! Let’s just all be mindful that everyone is doing their best and sometimes someone just needs a break! Oh and STOP THROWING PLASTIC IN THE BLOODY SEA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!! Ha ha!
And with that exceptional environmental point, I wanted to mention the impact Rachel has had on the blogging community- in particular the impact she’s had on smaller bloggers. Being a constant support for any blogger questioning their abilities, sharing her own thoughts on issues that effect all small writers, and fighting for equal opportunities- its safe to say that the blogosphere really would be missing a star if Rachel decided to end her adventure.
As of right now all I can say is thank you to this amazing woman. The support she has not only given me, but SO many others really has shaped who we become as a writer’s. For that alone I, owe a lot to Rachel.
So here’s to Dollies Adventures, I hope you never lose your way,
Disclaimer: All images used throughout this blog post are owned by Dollies Adventures. A conversation prior to the publishing of this interview confirmed that i was allowed to share them.
If you would like to see more of Rachel’s work, please feel free to click the links below.
I know, I know its been a while- and for that i am not in the least bit sorry. Life over the past few weeks has been quiet, with quiet came a few realisations. I realised that (and I don’t mean to boast- well maybe a little) but i finally feel like i have my shit together. Trust me, i am just as shocked as any one.
NOW, by no means do i have the answers to all the millennial issues. I am still shit with money, fat and my sex life is dryer than the Sahara desert- i’m just good with it. We are all to often caught saying
‘ you should only look back to see how far we’ve come’
But if you are anything like me, then you will only look to the positives of the past. Nights out, relationships, graduations are all things i compare my current life too. But what about the crippling anxiety, mounds of debt and self esteem lower to than my bank account. If i am to be perfectly honest, i really am bloody happy to be where i am today.
*cough* Cheesey as fuck*cough*
Photographer: Rebecca Walker.
Now lets start with the shit stuff. Dieting. My last blog spoke about my ‘ditching the term plus size’. Hatred for the term probably comes from the negative relationship with my body. Now, i look at dieting as a way to learn how to cook, how to prepare myself for the week ahead and even to a certain extent, how too budget. Dieting has been such an awful experience in the past. From rationing my food to living off 800 calories a day, i never wanted to be the size i am. Yet, here i am the wrong size of 25 with my huge bum and 28 E boobs (and yes, crippling back ache).
Right now i am technically dieting, Slimming world has been a way i can learn how to cook for my new veggie lifestyle. With friends and family not being the most supportive Slimming world has been a great network for recipes.
Photographer: Rebecca Walker.
Want some juicy goss? Then go somewhere else.
As with the rest of my life, my romantic life is non-existent- and like my body, i am good with it. Friends of mine are getting married, having babies and me? Well right now, I’m sat in the same room i grew up in drinking a corona, watching an Criminal Minds.
After a few shit relationships I finally understand the importance of being alone.I have replied heavily on my exes, i needed some one to tell me i was okay- as stupid as it sounds i was to scared to live my life independently.
Romantic relationships just isn’t something i am looking for right now, but if Prince Charming wants to fall into my life with a classic Nintendo and a few bottle of beer, then I wouldn’t run away.
Striving for independence.
Independence means a lot to different people. To some it means paying your own bills, to others it means traveling alone, for me? It simply means being comfortable enough to create something that i’ve been to scared too.
A few years back i was scared of everything. My mental health health nose dived, panic attacks took hold and i had no idea what i was doing one day to the next. So for me, its time to finally be able to stand on my own two feet and leave my anxieties in the past.
And goals? You better believe I’ve got them now and right now, i am smashing them (i mean to really, I’m not the Hulk).
BUY MY FIRST HOME.
BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM.
TRAVEL ALONE (even if it is only to centre parks)
Photographer: Rebecca Walker.
Organising my shit
Guys i am pretty okay with admitting that i am not Marie Kondo but i have started appreciating organising my life. Making breakfast the night before, ironing my clothes ready for the week on Sunday night and cleaning my space much more often, has made me feel so much more in control of my own life.
Like with so many things in my life, of course there is most definitely more switch up’s up to come but organising my life has impacted my life so much. I am so excited, to see how the year (and my poor attempt at organisation) goes.
2019 has flown by so quickly, its basically the middle of march and I have no recollection as to what happened to February. This little update and content switch up has been something i have wanted to do for a while. I have spent so much time wasting my life with poor relationships, low self esteem and just accepting that i was always going to unhappy – right now, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I finally feel like i am working towards the things i have always been too scared too.
And i promise to share them with you when i finish them.
As i sit an write this , i cant help but stare and the copious amount of clothing I’ve been buying recently. With the recent developments in sizing, styles and stores, the Plus size market has become more profound than ever- right now, I am in total awe at how amazing the ‘plus’ size clothing is in the UK has become. For years the ‘Plus’ size clothing stores have been ill flattering, and lack all sense of fashion. With brands such as ASOS, River Island and even New Look have finally allowed the curvy amongst us to find affordable, fashionable clothing the ‘Plus’ size clothing market has never been as advanced.
Now, pals, i am by no means saying that there isn’t any room for improvement in the Plus Size industry. Seriously i can list the issues my 16-18 chunky bod has when fighting the losing battle trying to find something ‘nice’ in store. Yet, the growth the industry has had shows a complete shift in a much better direction. Empire lines, flowing material and more accesability show a much better understanding of a curvier woman’s need. I just can’t help but ask, with the growth in the industry i am left wondering isn’t it time to ditch the ‘Plus Size’ term altogether?
Image taken by Rebecca Walker
Image taken by Rebecca Walker
Jumper: TU at Sainsbury’s.
Shoes: Raid via ASOS
Same clothing, same price.
Many stores now offer a plus size range, an has since started making the same pieces through out all their clothing. By this i mean much of the clothing in the plus size ranges is exactly the same (just sized higher) than much of the regular sized clothing. So, why am i walking up a flight of stairs to find a piece of clothing that i have seen 4 times down stairs?
As a rule, i don’t understand much within this segment of the clothing industry. Why should my reasonably sized boobs and Kardashian’s rival bottom mean I don’t fit into the Norm of clothing? Surely it would be better to make customers feel equal no matter the size of their behind ? Many stores argue that the fabric, patterns and even marketing equate to higher prices and being segregated from the rest of the other clothing items. Yet, with the fashion industry being one of the leading industries i highly doubt merging all areas of the clothing within a store will hardly knock the overall growth of the industry.
We’re not all made the same.
Understanding body shapes must rival the Pythagoras theorem. Every woman, is shaped differently regardless of your weight, Height and even style. As a woman who is constantly battling her weight, why should my clothing make me feel any less than ‘comfortable’?
Now, i understand that with a copious amount of body shapes, stores are fighting a losing battle. Some items will never look great on a pear shape whilst others items are just too short for a six foot frame.Yet, isn’t it better for people to have a level of trust in their favourite clothing brand rather than share the feeling of ‘ i can’t believe i have to go their again’. Taking plus size out of the equation for one moment, isn’t it worth creating a space where everyone has value?
Image taken by Rebecca Walker
Now, i am fully aware that some suffering with eating disorders may find this triggering. Walking to a separate area, in which you can shop with in comfort is important. However, many of the plus sized clothing collections are placed in obvious spaces. Women have to walk through area which see stick thin Mannequins, small items of clothing all of which only amplify insecurites. If stores don’t want this collection to be triggering isn’t it time to group all collections together and let all shoppers be equal. And if not, move the curve items to a much more discreet area of the store.
The future of the clothing industry will hopefully hold so much more growth within the ‘Plus’ sized category and for me, that is dropping the notion of plus sized all together. On a daily basis we are told that our size shouldn’t define who we are, so why are we allowing clothing stores to tell us any different? Walking through a store filled with smaller sized items, means that many like myself are forced to see what we could be. In a world of fad diets, motivational quotes and fakery, i am ready to stand up and say my size does not define who i am. Nor should it define how i feel in stores i spend my hard earn money in.
I can’t be the only person in the world which hates the term ‘Plus Size’. The size of my hips shouldn’t restrict the clothing i have access too. With the constant demand for affordable, fashionable clothing, when will the High Street learn that all customers are just as important as one and other. The size and shape of your body has no correlation to you or your sense of style. Kardashian bums, mum tums and massive lady lumps shouldn’t be a restriction, it should be something we have and can parade in a gorgeous leopard print shirt.
So tell me, what do you think? Is it time all customers were treated equally, or do you have an entirely different opinion. Please let me know in the comments below.
Disclaimer : I paid for these clothes with my own money and have never worked with either
Let me set the scene, this time last year I was still massively in love with my ex, intent on losing weight and had I wanted the world – but with minimal effort. Even to this day I can’t quite understand what possessed the changes that 2018 brought, all I do know is I will be forever grateful for the life lessons 2018 has taught me.
Now by no means did any of these life lessons come easy, every change usually came after a heartbreaking decision which left me questioning myself. With the help of gin, laughs and even blogging 201, has become a year which turned into a surprising, yet thrilling
Throughout this post, I will share with you the things that I have learnt over the past year. From simple naive things my past self never knew, to the mammoth career change which allowed me to find my focus and fall in love with writing all over again. 2018, may have brought questionable political issues and a love of avacado no millenial ever knew they needed- but to me, 2018 has allowed me to realise that i am enough.
It doesn’t matter what others think of you.
NOW, where do I begin with this? In the past I have spent so much time worrying about how I come across to others. Constantly worrying that people who logically have no real impact on my life, don’t like more or judge my every movement. In past years its sent me into an anxious spiral which in turned into a battle with my own mental health. After being put on antidepressants a few months back, my mental health challenge began to subside, and with that I could build a sense of self. A sense of self that I have never had in the past 26 years of existence. And for that I will be forever grateful.
As i looked back on the year i realised how much my life has changed. At the moment of those changes I began to have every area in my life questioned- not only by those around me but by myself too.
As time went on (literally talking 6 months, plus) I realised, whilst I still question my every move, I was still continuously moving forward. Whether or not others thought so, I was noticing the changes and that was enough. Every day I got up at 4.30 am, went to work and attempted to rectify any issues I had created the day before. This alone showed a tenacity I never knew I had. Yay, for me.
It’s perfectly okay not to be like your friends- And they should respect that too.
I have to say this could be my proudest achievement, my friends are beautiful, career driven, family focused women who constantly inspire me to push my own boundaries. Yet, for years I compared myself to them, so much so that it often left me feeling slightly insignificant. Actually more than slightly.
Realising that I am just as capable as my amazing friends, even with my Bridget Jones’ tendencies. Em Rambles is just as brilliant as so many others, all I had to realise was that I am totally worth it.
Saying no isn’t negative.
I’ve always wondered if saying no was a sign of weakness. Through out this year the term no, has gone from a negative term,into the most empowering word I know. I said no to a ex, I said no to toxic thoughts and I said no to others judgements holding me back.
Saying no is by no way derogatory, its empowering. Everyone should know the power of saying no.
Screw diamonds, chocolate is a girls best mate.
Think about it, period pains> chocolate. Break up> Chocolate. Life happens> Chocolate. No matter the time or issue, i find myself reaching for a bar of Dairy Milk, usually only last approximately 6.5 seconds.
No matter the shit storm, chocolate will always be my therapist, lover and ultimate comfort- as long as I ignore the calories and bulging waistline.
Dress however, the bloody hell you want.
Every man woman and child, at one point in their lives will feel down about their body. We will mutter things such as ‘ my arms look massive in this’, ‘I can’t wear this ‘cause off my huge muffin top’ and I promise not to mention those ‘thunder thighs’ you think you have. In any case, every question we mutter in front of the mirror, is only wasting time. Wear what your scared too and if any one has something to say, flick your hair and carry one.
They’re only jealous anyway.
You can find happiness in the simplest of places.
Not to go all Harry Potter esque on you, but I’ve come to realise that happiness comes from the smallest things. The rush of caffeine after your first coffee, taking your bra of immediately after entering the house and doing a boobie shake and even the pure satisfaction you get after ticking the last thing of your to do list. These simple pleasures we all know can make a bad day a little less shit and more freeing (literally).
2018 has been such a learning curve for me personally. The things I have spoken about above are all things that I have come to realise within the last 12 months. Whether you’re year has been amazing or the worst of your life I ask you to look for the positives. Even when the world seems dark, there will be one spark of positivity which can ease the bad days, whether its a pet, a loved one or even a cup of tea and a good book.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I hope it has you thinking about the life lessons 2018 has taught you. Leave a comment below and share them with my, and we can celebrate together.
This year has been the year of,like, realising stuff- Kylie Jenner.
2018, has been a year I needed. An eye opening realisation, that the only thing holding my life back was me. And believe me it’s something I’ve rectified.
Over the years I’ve always thought I had to be some one else- that showing the real me would leave me lonely and insecure. Whilst at times I still feel those things in abundance, accepting who I am has only made me happier. With being happier my somewhat dull personality shines through, all the dorky, sarcastic and slightly flirty characteristics that once made my skin crawl sends me into hysterics. In short, 2018 is the year I finally accepted the person who I am and dropped my persona.
I’ve lost people along the way.
Towards the end of 2018, I backed away from a lot of friendships. Some I massively regret, others I’m not in the slightest bit bothered about. Losing the friends I have over the past 9 months has made me realise that friendships aren’t a two way street. Often one has feels the need to be there far more than the other. It’s unfair, but severely honest.I have always kept my friendship group small, I’m just not a ‘friends with everyone and their dogs, instantly’ kind of girl. And that’s perfectly okay.
In friendships I look for comfort. Comfort in the knowledge, that if I didn’t speak to a friend for months, if I needed them- they’d be there. Friends which bring sarcasm, prosecco and chic flicks after a break up( or just a Sunday). Being comfortable in any relationship is a big deal, and focusing on friendships which bring me nothing but comfort and sarcasm, are my best kinds of friendships.
I’ve been pretty selfish over the past twelve months. And I am completely not ashamed to admit it. I’ve previously spoken about my anxiety and the struggles I have with confidence, being selfish was and still is needed.
I’ve slowly learnt to put myself first, to make my goals and happiness a priority. Waving goodbye to negative impacts, people and clothing(we’ve all got that sneaky dress hanging in our wardrobes that we will never fit back into). Over the past 9 months I feel better not only in my own skin but in the person who I am.
I may not be as confident as I would hope to be, but steps are being taken to unleash my inner Miranda priestly whilst of course embracing my Miranda heart qualities.
Accepting being alone.
For the longest time I’ve wanted to be with someone. I’d love to come home to a cuddle after an awful day at work, but unfortunately life had other plans for me. And as I write this post I Am so great fun it’s worked out that way.
Right now, I have some amazing changes coming, things that wouldn’t be a alive toe if I wear to be coupled up. As a rule I feel so empowered to continue to create a life that I want, that I deserve. I will never be the shell of a girl I once was and it wasn’t until I writing this post I realised, that no man ‘saved me’. I did, well, me, the girls and copious amount of gin.
In the next week I will be sharing some of the amazing news I’ve received recently. I can’t wait to share what is coming- 2019 is going to be the year of an empowered Em- and it’s about bloody time!
Well, the ladies at Build a Life You Love thought so too. So this wonderful Mother/Daughter duo put pen to paper and wrote the most refeshing mental health book there is( well at least I think so). The Winter retreat takes you on a ‘journey’ of self care. By breaking down different areas of your life allowing you to focus and better your mental health, life and values.
I was lucky enough to receive a copy of ‘ The Winter Retreat’ from the wonderful ladies at Build a Life You Love- and I have to say its been a game changer. The festive time isn’t a period I don’t look forward too. Not because I hate christmas but I don’t like the effects the season of goodwill has on my mental health.
In the past I have spoken openly about my struggles with anxiety, so when Buble starts playing in every store in the land and people run about with a manic look in their eye, I become totally overwhelmed.
‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of some one else’- Judy Garland.
The Winter Retreat by Build a Life You Love, is one of the most important books I’ve ever read. In many ways this book is a self help guide but I personally like to call it my ‘ get me through life book’. The Winter Retreat allows you to asses all areas of your life including Money, your body and your virtual space. Throughout the book some pages are left blank, to allow you to asses your own life and map out how you can move forward positively.
Like the post is shared with you, yesterday, The Winter Retreat is all about having the ability to cope when you are overwhelmed. By assessing certain areas of you life and focusing on positively moving forward, The Winter Retreat can be a base of positivity of your life. For me personally certain pages spoke to me more than others. These points have been studied within an inch of its life and honestly, I never want to be with out this self help guide!
Throughout this post I wanted to share with you how this book relates to my life, in hopes that you think this guide will help you too. Remember folks, we all need a helping hand sometimes and this could be yours.
‘ There are sounds everywhere, Slow Down, take your time and breathe.’- The Winter Retreat.
In times of chaos we completely ignore the amount of rest our body needs, The Winter Retreat has a whole section on finding what your body needs- rest. Wrapping up in your thickest coat and snuggliest scarf, and going for a walk, listening to an audio book in the bath, are both ways people allow their body to rest. Finding your own ways to rest is key to feeling more like yourself and not an imposter.
‘ Take your time and try to spend ever penny but no more’.- The Winter Retreat.
As per many millennials out there I am awful when it comes to money. Whilst at uni i got into a lot of debt. I had overdrafts on my overdrafts- I never realised how difficult it would to pay them back or even find a job to afford to pay the awful things back. Yet, it happened- still to this day I don’t quite know how.
This part of the book spoke on another level. Christmas is upon us and like so many around I tend to go a bit swipe happy with my bank card. Nights out, christmas presents and what ever festive outing is thrown your way. Sticking to a budget is difficult in general but at christmas it becomes so much harder. The Winter Retreat discusses ways to budget effectly no matter the season.
Your Virtual Space.
‘Whatever we think about social media, it seems to be here to stay. So how about using it to enhance your life’-The Winter Retreat.
As a blogger I am fully aware at how toxic the virtual space can be. However, what blows my mind more is the ability the online world has to allow unlikely freindships to bloom. Take my relationship with Steph, for example. We met through blogging and my life would be missing much loved friendship without her. For that and that alone, blogging has enhanced my The Winter Retreat has enabled me to plan a few more things I never believed I could do.
‘How about slowing everyone down and writing a letter.’ – The Winter Retreat.
Adoring your friends and family from behind a phone screen is something that everyone has done- I personally know I am guilty of it. My friends and close family so dear to me yet, I am still glued to my phone 90% of the time- and vice versa.
Putting your phone down and spending time with your loved ones is a retreat in itself. Even when arguments arise and the tensions settle ask yourself if you would want to be anywhere else?
‘ The final excersize in our Winter Retreat vision board.’- The Winter Retreat.
Spirit, means a lot of different things to different people- a ghost, your soul or even an alcoholic measure. Needless to say in this case YOUR SPIRIT is in regards to the motivation that comes from working on yourself. The spirit that pushes you to become better and develop your own goals and ambitions.
With the changes the book introduces the final segment of The Winter Retreat, introduces the motivation to finally put plans into action, for me it was questions about my body image and future career, for you? Well the possibilities are endless.
LETS BE HONEST, NOW.
This book will only help change your life if you want it too. Buying this book will not immediately change your life – its not the good fairy from cinderella. What `this book does do allow you to do is look at your own life and find the changes YOU want to make.
The Winter Retreat, cost £20 and is available here. I understand £20 can seem a lot but if you are feeling a little overwhelmed this book would be perfect for you.
I know this ‘review’ isn’t a generic review but I wanted to share my reaction to The Winter Retreat. This book has helped me put my thoughts in order and gave me the ability to really focus on my future. So thank you to Build a Life You Love for creating such a wonderful self care guide.
A disclaimer: I answered a twitter ad an got accepted to review this wonderful book. I pride myself on being totally honest throughout my content so this review is in no way false. I truly love this book. For some one like me, it really is perfect!
In a mist of shoppers regret, over prices train fares and Christmas parties, it’s safe to say the season of good will, can leave you feeling pretty low. Some days your left with no energy and a headache which will only be cured by drinking your body weight in mulled wine. The festive season may be fun for some but for others it can only bring a crisis of confidence.
As an anxiety sufferer Christmas often leaves me feeling a little hopeless. Jumping from one task to the next, on a constant conveyer belt of ‘ festive joy’ that leaves me feeling numb. In previous years, Christmas has left me feeling panicked and my confidence in tatters. The introduction of the three tips I am about to share with you has turned the festive season into something I look forward too(rather than despise). I hope some of the tips I share within this post will help you find relaxation within the festive season
Create a relaxing space.
I for one can vouch that working in a space filled to the rafters, will only cause more stress and mental strain. Finding some where in the world which doesn’t feel so overwhelming can be tough- many don’t even seem to find calm in their own home. Having a room, a chair or even a corner where you can just be, is something that will allow your mind to settle.
When you do find somewhere to yourself it is important that you create a space in which you feel comfortable in. Blankets, books, candles are all great but if they don’t bring you (and only you) comfort then they become a bit redundant. If gaming or even playing the spoons calms your nerves then its important your space should reflect it. For me writing is calming, creating a blog post and adding to a novel I’m currently dreaming up settles my anxiety- so creating a relaxing space for me revolves around that.
Take your time.
At times the festive season can give F1 a run for its money. People in general seem to be hurrying through the day. Things that probably could wait a little while have to be done right that second, others demand constant attention without a mere ‘Thank you’. Christmas and the festivities that come with the it are hectic- there’s no other way of putting it.
In the midst of everyone else’s whirlwind, it is sometimes easy to forget that it is perfectly acceptable to take things at your own pace. For the season of goodwill, there seems to be a lot of panic and carnage in it wake.
Three questions should be asked when things around you seem to be going at a 100 miles an hour:
Does it have to be done right now?-If it does need to be ticked off the to do list imminently then deal with it straight away. Prioritising tasks is difficult but it will help you deal with christmas effectively and on your own terms.
Can it be completed online?-For people who feel uneasy within a crowded enviroment. Sometimes the effects of being in a confined space can last for days. If buying a gift or booking an appointment can be done online, surely it would be much more beneficial to do so.
And is it worth it?-If a lynx gift set is really that important to Aunt Jean, then she may need to re-evaluate her lifestyle. Ask yourself this question when everything festive (or not) leaves you feeling drained, unappreciated and pissed off. Is this gift/experience worth leaving you in feeling low? No, it isn’t.
Taking your time is not selfish, having a moment when you need to is necessary when it comes to surviving the Christmas carnage. Allowing yourself to go at your own pace is an effective way to ensure that all your tasks are done without hindering your mental health, confidence and Christmas experience.
Spend time with people who love you.
As cliche as this sounds spending time with people who love you is an instant method of relaxation. A cuddle from your partner, a cup of tea from a grand parent or even a snuggle from a beloved pet have all be scientifically proven to relax. In the spirit of christmas, we often forget how important spending time with loved ones is. We never know what is happening in some one else’s head, so spending time with people who make our hearts happy may not only benefit you.
Mental health, low confidence and feeling generally exhausted are all things which shouldn’t effect christmas- yet they do. With 1 in 4 people in the UK dealing with depression, Christmas can often lead to unnecessary stress. Finding your own ways to block out other peoples issues is difficult, but ultimately necessary for surviving the christmas period.
Whether you are a Grinch or a Christmas lover this time of year is difficult for everyone. If the tips I have shared with you have helped in any way then please let my know in the comments below. Alternatively feel free to share your own tips for surving christmas.
As you sit and read this it will be my 26th birthday. I wanted to share with you the things I will and wont be taking into my 26th year.
In the words of Kylie Jenner, my 25th year on the planet has been the year of ‘like realising stuff’. Without sounding naive, this year needed to happen. 365 days ago I was a shy, anxious, shell of a person. And now? Well, now. I finally feel like my life has meaning- andhonestly, it’s all I’ve ever hoped for.
Throughout this post I am going to share with you some images that remind me of the best moments of the year– the good the bad and the questionable.
You can never have enough knickers.
I cannot be the only person on this planet to constantly seem to be running out of underwear. Each month I add to my collection ( if you can call over priced pieces of cloth that hide your modesty a collection) yet I still end up rummaging through the ironing pile trying to find a pair on a cold Monday morning. Standard, amirite?
You are constantly reinventing yourself.
A massive lesson I have learned this year is personal growth is reinvention. You are not the person you were yesterday and you certainly aren’t the person you will be tomorrow. Reinventing yourself as the person you are is never quite finished- to be honest I don’t ever think it accomplishable.
Often we are told we should be a certain way, even when every inch of our being is telling us we are something different. Well, for me my reinvention was spurred on by gaining the ability to stop listening the negative people I had in my life. Whether it came from a place of love or hate, the comments were unnecessary and made an already anxious girl scared to create the life she wanted.
Through out my 26 years I have screwed up a lot. I trusted the wrong people, I let the wrong men into my life and honestly, I let my insecurities get the best of me. For the longest time I was paranoid. Until I asked for help and gave my life a kick up the arse.
You are enough.
I’ve never felt like I was enough. A strange but honest statement. If I am to be totally honest its been my point of view since I was a child. Until a fateful doctors appointment that changed my view and now, for the first time in 2191.45 days (according to Siri) I know I am enough and I am exactly where I need to be in my life.
From some one who used to shy away from new adventures, who couldn’t cope with life going wrong, and some one who genuinely felt shite about herself. I know I am perfectly okay with both me and the way my life is going right now.
And it is perfectly acceptable to love films as much as you love shoes.
It may come as no surprise to you (especially if you follow @whatemwears1 on Instagram) that I am head over heels with shoes- pun intended. In the words of Tina Fey’s character from In Her Shoes-
‘Shoes always fit’.
The only thing that’s stayed with me as long as my love of shoes is my struggle with my weight. When my clothing gets tight and I start to feel low within myself, I grab my favourite pair of boots, jeans and a cosy jumper and feel a little more myself.
Likewise with film and comic franchises. I have recently shared with you my love for Harry Potter, but in this case at least, we are speaking about my admiration for superhero’s. Marvel of course, is one of the biggest franchises in the world- you’d be hard up to find some one who doesn’t admire some superhero. Like Harry Potter, Marvel (its comics and films) are a way i can escape when my anxiety hits me like a train. Having an escape is a brilliant way to cope even when you feel like you cant. So, yes, I love me some superhero’s, wizards and house elves.
For anyone questioning why I’ve put these two things together, I love them equally and for me, a pair of shoes I totally adore is my cape *inserts Edna from the Incredables saying ‘ No Capes*. Shoes and accessories to many people are super powers, in the same way Make up boosts peoples confidence. A good pair of heels can boost not only height but the ability to take on what ever shit comes your way.
Shoes are superhero’s.
It doesn’t matter if its shallow, if it makes you feel better its worth it.
I’m a girl who likes her hair and nails done- and no one will ever make me feel ashamed of it. I’ve always felt my mind wander and my ability to cope with certain situations(and people) was completely at 0. And now? With the help of a fresh cut, a quick tan and even a new nail colour- I feel as if I can cope.
Even if only for a little while.
Now, I completely understand that this post is 1000% rambles, but a) the clue is literally in the blog name and b) its my birthday and i can ramble if i want too. In all seriousness, 25 is a year I will not be forgetting in a hurry. The situations I have been put in and the changes the year has brung have allowed me to continuously grow as a person and no matter how things change, develop or even stay the same. I know that 26 will continue to define who I am.
With the help of a lot of gin and prosecco, I know I’ll get through the next 12 months with a lot of laughs and a high alcohol percentage.
It’s December and that means only one thing! Blogmas or at least my own version of Blogmas. This year I wanted to write my own version of Blogmas, one that gives you lovely readers enough content but also allows me to not work constantly for the next 31 days.
I love Christmas and would love to enjoy both the festive season and blogging. Blogmas puts so much pressure on those of us who love the festive season. As some one who’s blogged for years I feel like I can safely say by the end of Blogmas most bloggers never want to hear the word Blogmas for at least another 11 months.
SO, in the hopes of saving my own sanity I have wrote myself a set of rules which will hopefully allow me to contribute to Blogmas in my own way.
1, Content doesn’t have to be festive.
Throughout the next month some of my content isn’t festive, infact its so removed from Christmas its unreal- and that’s perfectly okay. Christmas puts pressure on everyone and sometimes us mere mortals need to have a minute without a mince pie or festive joy.
The festive season is a difficult one, so having a break from festivities is a must for not only me but for others too.
2, Monday to Friday, only.
Over the past few years I have realised that I am in no way organised to contribute daily to Blogmas. As much as I adore writing I simply run out of inspiration come December 27th. Most poeple read content at weekend so uploading 7 post in a week can be excessive and some readers may miss a great post you’ve worked your arse off on.
Choosing to limit my Blogmas content came with a very heavy heart, if I’m totally honest I feel like I have let my self down a little, but for the sake of my mental health I have come to realise working full time and blogging daily is just too much for me right now.
3, ITS MY BLOGMAS.
As a rule blogmas runs form the 1st December to the 31st – that is a lot of content. I applaud any one who attempts to do this but for me personally, I don’t think its a viable option. With that being said, this is my blogmas, on my blog so i felt that it was about time i rewrote the rules.
I hope you understand and are ready for a few exciting introductions (including my monthly bar review to name one). Are you ready?
Imposter syndrome seems to be dotted about blog posts like there’s no tomorrow, but what is it? Well I thought I’d ask the know it all in my phone, Siri, yes, Siri. And the queen she is stated.
Imposter syndrome is a psychological patter in which people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent often internalised fear of being exposed as a fraud.
In essence it’s that little voice in the back of your mind telling you, you don’t deserve anything good to happen in your life. Firing questions around such as, Do I deserve to be here? Am I good enough for this? Why am I doing this when so many others can do it a million times better?
Some would probably argue that it’s a lack confidence that makes you question your worth, but I’d argue the opposite. Many people *cough* me*cough*, know who they are and are reasonably comfortable with it, but Imposter Syndrome is entirely different.
The Day to Day.
For people like me, Imposter Syndrome was simply a myth. We coped with feeling so out of place when anything reasonably good happened to us. There was always something in the back of our minds that stopped us from believing that are achievements were, well, ours and not just a fluke. From little things like paying bills to jumping to the front of a queue so many people(i.e. me, literally me) constantly feel like they just don’t deserve any bit of luck.
When I first got my new job (well not new, I’ve been there over a year) I thought that some one else should have got the role, that I wasn’t good enough to be there- and it showed. I just didn’t believe I was worth anything. After reading In the Frow’s post about Imposter Syndrome, I finally new that I wasn’t the only person questioning their achievements.
Turning down the volume.
It’s all too easy to let those voices win: to let the doubts surrounding your mind stop you from achieving anything. When you seem to be finding your way a little more than usual, there’s always something holding you back.
Sometimes, when your doubts seem to be screaming at you- it’s so difficult to try and turn down the volume. Whilst there are so many ways you can take yourself away and find your focus, Every now and again you need to find something that will just tell that unwanted little fucking voice to back off. Whether it’s a glass of wine, a bath or just a walk around the block, finding your own way to turn down the volume is bloody needed.
My tips and Tricks.
1. Take a walk.
Quite literally leave the situation and take a walk. Being stuck in something where you feel like you’re drowning in self doubt isn’t going to do you any favours. In fact it will probably mean you will fuck it up a million times over.
2. Stay away from the booze.
Now we all know, I love my Gin, but when I feel the Imposter in my brain shouting all odds around like the local drunk, I know it’s times to step away from the Hendricks. If I was to look back on all my less than favourable (yes, there the words I’m going with) times in my life, it’s been when I’ve grabbed a few drinks when I thought I didn’t belong to my own life.
Stepping away from the booze for a few days is key if you want to keep motivated, and prove your worth not only to others but to yourself too.
I’ve only recently started to champion myself when something actually goes my way. When YOU’VE achieved something, YOU deserve to celebrate it. Not your friend, not your family, not those mates that sarcastically comment on your Facebook update, YOU because you worked your fucking arse off to achieve it.
So whether it’s a long bath, a new pair of shoes or a good giggle with the girls, celebrate your accomplishments, because it feels incredible when you do.
Imposter Syndrome used to be a myth: something that no one acknowledged existed out side of there own head, but it’s something EVERYONE has or will suffer with. Whether your mental health has suffered over the years is regardless, Imposter syndrome and the effects it has on your life is endless. Letting the doubts in your head effect your life is easy, it would be stupid of me to tell you otherwise but at times we all let those voices run ragged. Just know you aren’t on you’re own, and know that whatever you think you don’t deserve YOU DO.
If i am totally honest with you, I’ve tried to start this post at least 5 times, but i always seem to struggle writing something that wasn’t one sided. Writing favourites posts in hindsight should be much easier than what they are. You are literally writing about all the things your loving that month- but writing them in a way you don’t sound like a complete stuck up knob is something else.
So I thought I’d give this little edit a try. Writing about alll the things I love from lifestyle, beauty and music to holidays or trips I take. A few faves is something that I hope sticks. And I hope you do too!
Now, let’s get started.
My Favourite Murder
After being introduced to the mega murder podcast(in the best possible way), after watching a Katie Snooks, vlog last year. If you are unfamiliar or just as nosey as I am, I’ll let you know what my excitement is all about. My favourite murder is a podcast, starring Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgaraff, where the two true crime lovers speak openly (and bloody hilariously-excuse the pun) about Murder’s throughout the years.
From Jack the Ripper to the ‘I survived ‘ tales, the two incredible, pod cast hosts speak with compassion and homily- whilst cracking more jokes than your pissed up uncle and Christmas.
(Am i cool enough to say kicks? Probably not.)
I’ve never been the kind of girl to wear trainers, I’m not athletic and I previous ideas of comfort were pyjamas. That was until I started wanting leave he house without the threat of blisters. So after last months pay day I marched into my local JD sport and bought these nude puma kicks. I love them!
Weather scruffy or clean I can comfortably throw on these babes, with most things. For the ultimate go anywhere in comfort style, I’d throw these babies on with a white shirt and jeans.
PSA: they have a little bit of a platform- perfect if you’re a short arse like me!
Estée Lauder Day wear
My daily go too, Ester Lauder Day Wear, is my morning savour! After getting up at 4.45am I just can’t be bothered to go full force with make up. This product is simply amazing! The light texture doesn’t provide much coverage but it does give your skin colour. After initially coming out of he tube a full grey colour, the cream slowly changes colour to bronze up your natural skin tone.
Due to this product not being a foundation, the overall texture is extremely light and nourishing for your skin. However, just a warning, if you use any more than a pea sized amount then you will more than likely look as orange as David Dickenson and be an oily mess by the time you leave house. Now, with a high end brand, you’d expect the price to be up there and if I’m honest, just thinking about forming over £36.00 for one product hurts m bank balance- but what I will say, is the the amount of product you get is bloody amazing. I bought this product About 6 weeks ago and I’ve barely used a quarter of it(and I use it at least 5 days a week.
So if your looking for an easy to throw on tinted moisturiser for a bank breaking cost, then this product is for you!
Lewis Capaldi Album
Divinely uninspired to a hellish extent, could be one of the best albums I have ever listened too. Being up there with albums such as Adele’s 19 and pretty much any song sung by Sam Smith, Lewis Capaldi has made an album that I believe everyone needs in there life. Vinyl, iTunes, Cassettes if you’re old school, where ever you get your Capaldi fix – get it.
One of my favourite songs on the Album is One. In hindsight the song is about the ultimate love story starting from the ultimate heartbreak but it always seems to make me think of the girls.
Reminds me of all the times they picked me up after a bad date or a bad relationship ended. As much as that wasn’t the intention of the song, the meaning behind it makes me listen to it when I need to be reminded the people that have always been there for me, when times have been more than a little rough.
Clarins Lip Oil- 01 Honey.
If you’ve read my recent post, Bad Skin Diaries, then you will know trust my skin hS been in dire need of help- and my lips were no exception. With the change in season and my skin flare up my lips were swollen and sore, even smiling made me reach for the Panadol! It wasn’t until i strolled up to the Clarins counter and was introduced to this little lip saver.
Clarins Comfort Lip Oil, £18, May be on the pricey side for what can only be described as an Uber luxourious lip balm- but trust me when I say, it is worth every penny. In days my lips were much more comfortable and in just a week you could see my lips visibly start to heal. And a month later? My lips are fully healed and nourished- and I could not be happier!
Sorry I missed last weeks upload but this post seemed to take me a lot longer than I thought it would to write. If you have been around over the past few weeks you will know that a few skin issues have made me completely change my beauty routine ( if you can call it that). After ditching the entirety of my make up bag, I’ve been slowly adding skin friendly products to my day to day face.
Clarins, has been such an amazing brand to find when my skin needed a lot of help. In the past 4 months an obsession with Clarins has developed and I think I’ve grown quite the pricey collection. Of course, I am sure that there’s much cheaper alternatives out there but since I’ve started using Clarins my skin has smoothed out and changed completely.
Any way, I digress, with my much needed switch up in beauty products I thought I’d write up my five favourite Clarins products.
I’ve never really been a primer lover, they never seem to work with my dry-oily skin. With my recent skin issues I decided it was time to give primers one last chance- and I’m so happy I did. Unlike, some other primers I’ve used,the SOS primer, is light enough that it doesn’t leave any clumpy residue and doesn’t slide off your face at the slightest bit of sweat. Perfect for oily girls like me!
The texture itself is pretty light and easy to apply. With a shimmer running through the product it would be easy to assume that it could feel gritty when applying, but you’d be wrong. Clarins SOS Primer, is smooth and velvety, in comparison to L’Oreals Lumi Magique primer, the SOS primer leaves your skin looking smooth, and dewy.
By nature I’m pretty pale, in fact, there’s no pretty, I’m paler than milk. Bronzer is something I use daily to stop me looking like a boiled egg. Applying this bronzer n my temples, cheeks and below my chin, just seems to make me look so much healthier.
I’ve always been drawn to Clarins bronzers, purely because they are simply beautiful. Each summer Clarins releases limited addition bronzers and there packaging is simply beautiful. However, it’s not just the packaging that’s beautiful, this light bronzer gives you the summer bronze. Clarins Bronzing Compact, is s buildable, but doesn’t leave you looking like a tangerine. With hints of litter through out the compact, it just adds something to your skin. The compact uses a combination of a bronzer, a pink powder(which can be used as a blush) and a highlighter (which gives a stunning subtle highlight) allows a slight bit of dimension to your face.
In the past I’ve spoken about my skin, specifically the reaction I’ve suffered recently, so I’ve had my eye on this mask for a while. Being made from Shea butter, the sleep mask nourishes dry skin whilst diminishing any additional oils. What I love about this sleep mask is that you can use it as a mask or a night cream.
Applying a thick layer to the skin before bed, and rubbing into the skin until it’s tacky, allows to hydrate the skin when its in dyer need. Alternatively, use a pea size amount and rub into skin, to wake up to fresh, nourished skin.
After using 2 very impressive ‘travel’ sized facial washes, i fully intend n buying the full size.
This foaming face wash applies so easy to the skin, attaching it self to grit, make up and other skin nasties, with minimal effort. Facial wash the rinses away with a few hand fulls of water and leaves your skin feeling fresh and clean.
This foundation is a game changer for girls with redness. The light foundation creates a luminous base, with coverage. My daily go to is Estée Lauders Day Day Wear, and in comparison the over all feel is quite similar. Both products are super light weight, and illuminating, so if you use Estée Lauder Day wear, and want a medium coverage foundation for days when your skin needs a little more help, Clarins, Skin Illusion foundation is for you.
Clarins as a brand has been amazing whilst I’ve been combating my skin issues. Whilst my excema was taking over my face, the introduction of a few Clarins products helped smoothed my skin and ultimately became integral in not only my skin care routine but my make up one too. Obviously, Clarins is on the pricier side of beauty, but for my skin, it’s worth every penny, for the first time in a over a year I am so comfortable going make up free.
My bank my hate me, but my skin is glowing.
A Clarins convert.
*disclaimer- this is not an add. I have never worked with Clarins. The links throughout are not affiliate link, I earn nothing from sharing my love of this brand.*